L.U.K.E. - letting unusual kids escape

my brain has something to say. go get em

2009-10-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

"how necessary is it for you to be talking on your blue tooth at loud and full voice while boarding the plane? none of us are happy about this" - i'm a telepathic ambassador for everyone's thoughts around me

"no no no no no, this doesn't make sense. this doesn't make sense at all! no! there are over 20 urinals, how could there be pee on the seat" - asked luke's brain

"no one likes a whistler" - luke's brain said as a man continued to whistle in the small office

every morning, i play solitaire on my phone. i figured that if i challenged my brain right when i woke up, it would "warm up" and my day could be more productive. for 2 months, i would play until i would win. this took very little time, in fact sometimes i would win 2 or 3 times a morning. those days were very productive. however, as of late, i have lost my skills. i have gone for a week without winning, and frustration is building. mainly because i end up late to wherever i'm going because i'm sitting in my room playing a video game in hopes it will make me smarter

i feel like you can tell many things about a person by how they organize their aces

every so often, i accidently draw more cards right when i saw where i could've have used the last card on the top. at these times, i let out a very audible "no!" and continue to justify why i didn't want that card anyway

i like to organize my kings when i get them. everything to the left. sure this makes me lose because my priorities change, but i'd rather lose knowing that my cards were organized like a professional. thats what really matters

"catch phrases are dumb" - luke's brain upon comparing the 2 phrases "i feel like a million bucks" and "sock it to me"

everything is ridiculous in texas

2009-09-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

didn't realize till i was getting on the plane that my boss thought my middle name was tyler. i say it out loud and all i hear is "liv tyler". my brain wont accept that as my middle name

construction at the airport = me taking a 10 minute bus ride to my plane. it felt like the last scene in speed, and i loved it

i was in line at security check (where they xray your carry ons) and right as my bag got in, i hear someone yell "BOMB!!". it was weird because no one freaked, but every security person moved to a different position. i didn't flip out or anything, but my heart did actually stop working so he wouldn't be distracted and miss what was going on. turns out it was a drill. here's the deal. if i was a security guard and i have a gun, and someone yells bomb, i'm shooting everyone in that general direction. and i mean everyone

american airlines totally freaking sucks, but they have a totally kickass eagle as their logo

when i'm at an airport, i feel like everyone is always cutting in front of me, or attempting to cut in front of me. no matter where or what i'm doing. when i realized this, it became so apparent that i had to sit down and laugh my brains out, but some guy cut in front of me and took the seat

i just honestly feel like there are to many people working in all the wrong areas at airports. there were 3 clerks checking in 7 packed lines of anxious flyers, then i went to my gate and there were 6 people walking around picking up trash, with absolutely no trash in site. get more people doing actual necessary work, and less people doing absolutely nothing

i like to shoot people with smiles, see if i get any back. it's not a sudden thing, it's more like when i have some sort of interaction with someone. i'll wip out a big ol grin and see if they reciprocate. if they smile full blown, showing teeth, i call that a head shot. if they only grin, it's a body shot. if they don't do anything, it's a complete miss. i relate smiling with killing people. i'm ok with it

you know what, now that i think about it, every time i get on a bus, i think of the movie speed

with my middle name slip up, it got me thinking of what i could name my kid so his initials could make me laugh. i came up with these. feel free to add more
manuel esteban st. hilaire - MESH
pamela ortega st. hilaire - POSH
peter orion ryan st. hilaire - PORSH
samuel langford adams st. hilaire - SLASH
frederick ronald eugine st. hilaire - FRESH

as long as you get to the airport with plenty of time, plenty of energy, and a good attitude, traveling doesn't totally blow chunks

by semi popular request...

2009-09-03T11:40:00.000-07:00

freeway lanes are divided up, not by lines, but by how likely/willing you are to get a speeding ticket. if your in the far left lane, you probably are really ok with a felony charge

i water the plants in my atrium so that when i put the fan on, it pulls in cool air. but now all these big plants are growing now. what an unexpected side effect from not having proper air conditioning

my parents float won the lake forest parade. i think it's because my parents love being on the float, and when you see someone that loves being on a float, you can't help but be stoked for the people on the float. free candy is ok, but a float of actual joy is rare when it's 100 million degrees out

our family has a desert tortoise. he doesn't sing or dance or do tricks, and you can't really hold him. i mean you can, but you might as well be holding a rock. he doesn't tell jokes and he wont laugh at yours. you can't cuddle with him and there's nothing that he actually does that will improve or worsen your mood. but for some reason, when i'm around him i'm happy. turtles radiate happiness. if you know someone suffering from depression, buy them a desert tortoise

while pumping gas at my favorite gas station, i started cleaning my windshield. this is when i realized my left arm goes completely limp when my right arm does all the work. i figured my left arm should at least be doing something, i don't want to be raising any lazy limbs. if you drove by the lake forest chevron at 7pm yesterday, you would've seen a man cleaning his windshield with his right arm and his left arm giving a thumbs up to the right arm

while driving with dom today, i accidently flipped the radio station to a japanese-ish talk show program. unbeknownst to both of us as we drove, we were listening for 20 minutes of this without realizing we had no idea what they were saying. even though i can't understand the program, i feel smarter with it on. i vowed that i would not change the channel for 24 hours and see if i get brilliant. also it's quite fun driving around the spectrum with it cranked. 106.3 = saigon talk radio. 그게 최선입니다!!

usually would twitter this stuff, but i need more space now

2009-07-26T01:02:00.000-07:00

i went running the other night at the swamp of a creek by my house and got molested by thousands of mosquitoes. i had to run fast to keep them off me. it was like that movie crank only with bugs and no sex, drugs, car chase scenes, guns, or uninteresting dialogue

i have bug bites on my feet. i am content with having scars from scratching them because scratching feels so much better then telling myself i actually care about having scars on my feet

dominic feels the same way

i have never felt the need to argue with a movie more often then when i watch snakes on a plane

i'm playing in big church this weekend for the first time ever. i hope the camera guys that get all up in my business when i'm trying to play bass get some good camera angles, because i'm sure that i'll accidently elbow a fool in the eye by the end of the weekend. weigh out your options camera operator = bass player close up action shot vs. life long eye patch

note to everyone = honestly, i kinda want to see a camera guy with an eye patch. bring some flavor to the video team at saddleback church, they sure do need it

we walked up to play the first song for the 430 service (the first service of the weekend) and all i could think of was how many dirty words i could say out loud to the drummer before we started

7, by the way is the answer

there wasn't really a good dinner provided last night, but there were small bags of chips lying around. i now have 6 mini bags of cheetoes in the car, and 4 lays standards

i went to the court the other day to settle a ticket, and i had to see the judge. first time i'd actually seen someone get a ticket for smoking marijuana. also first time seeing them in front of a judge. also first time seeing 7 consecutive people seeing the judge for smoking marijuana. also first time seeing an old guy arguing with the judge about his marijuana ticket. however not the first time seeing a guy get a ticket for having no license or registration drive home from the court house. yay california

ice machines and murphy beds

2009-06-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

ice machines and murphy beds from Luke St.Hilaire on Vimeo.

going home

2009-05-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

going home from Luke St.Hilaire on Vimeo.

orlando blooming

2009-05-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

yep

sidekick to the face

2009-05-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

if one of my friends every got seriously injured on a trampoline, of course i would laugh. i would also describe him to my friends as hilariously injured

i went to the t-mobile store to check some stuff out and check why my phone was being stupid. this is the real events of the.....event
-hey, so my phone doesn't display random names on text messages, it'll only show the number. solution?
*girl behind counter takes my phone*
-yea, this exact thing totally happened to my sidekick to. i have no idea how to fix it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
-so...how'd you eventually fix it?
-oh, i didn't. still does it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
+in my brain= well if you couldn't figure it out on your sidekick.... then what are you doing on my phone+
-ummm.... can i have my phone back?
*most awkward phone handover in the history of ever*

alright probably high school kid on sidewalk riding a bmx bike, it is to freakin hot to be wearing those long pants and that beanie. heat exhaustion isn't the way to being popular. man up and wear some jean shorts

i realized a terrible terrible thing the other night. if i leave my windows open, those possums i see at night all the time might climb into my car. how the frick have i never realized this. i don't care about thieves, sitting down in my car and having a possum hiss at me from the back seat is AAAHAHHHHHHHHh

i am literally never thinking arbys

i wonder what the percentage of girls in the world put a rose on their dash

my good friend allison hibbard gave me an eagle statue a few weeks ago. it is as majestic as the constitution itself. problem is, is that i have no idea where to put the thing. it's to good to put in my room, i'll barely ever see it. solution?

i strapped him into my passenger seat and named him troy aikman

troy hates when i break the law, and hates a messy car. he's been in there since he entered my life, and i don't plan on him moving soon

everything in moderation is totally fine, including victory dances and calling out chumps when you see em

2009-05-01T02:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes i like to pick a youtube video, any youtube video, and see how many comments i can scroll down before someone cusses. i think my record is 5

i wore white pants today. i like em. but i'm actually just excited for the day when i don't wear them as much and i turn them into jean shorts. it's like the equivalent of a farmer looking at a cow and being excited for steak burger fridays, so he buys the cow. or like when a normal american man sees a tree and gets excited for a possible new baseball bat, so he cuts down the entire tree and burns whatever he doesn't use. or when PETA sees a dead dog on the side of the road and gets excited for all the people they're going to yell at and demean for having absolutely nothing to do with actual animal cruelty

me and a bunch of friends went to "cherry on top" tonight. if you don't know, "cherry on top" is just like every other yogurt place in the world, i don't care what anyone says, it's all pretty much the same.
anyways, travis wanted diet coke, so we went to mcdonalds. i suddenly realized i would way rather have mcdonalds then stupid yogurt.

after sitting back down in "cherry on yogurtland" with my large big and tasty meal, multiple people followed suit and bolted for mcdonalds. it's not about setting trends, it's about realizing that mcdonalds may be "unhealthy" but is still just so freakin good.

when you eat food in front of people that would rather be having your food than their stupid yogurt, a look creeps into their faces that can only be described as "regret"

the other day i sat down and ate 2 big and tasty burgers and a large fry in 10 minutes. this may seem disgusting to certain people, but to me it was both satisfying, fulfilling, and inspiring and satisfying. and whatever word can be used to describe that feeling when you win at something, but it's not a competition. like lifting the really heavy box by yourself, or jumping onto the couch from far away and landing exactly how you wanted, or looking at a plate of food and having people say "oh you can't possibly eat that much, oh my gosh, there's no way, i'm so annoying" and then you saying "watch this" and 10 minutes later doing a double fist pump but then calming down because you don't want to rile up the innards after that pile of grease you just devoured

when i die, i want God to have a count of how many chips i ate in my lifetime, but it all in a pile, and see what actual mountains aren't taller than it

haven't been blogging much, duh

2009-03-23T00:53:00.001-07:00

here's a reason for my lack of blogs. the realization that making videos is so freakin fun. here's my first edit/produced masterpiece. enjoy, and spread the word

table for glasses of orange juice

2009-03-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

mustangs love taking turns faster than "the man" wants them to

spiders have always loved the fact they can sneak into whatever car i have and party their little brains out when i'm asleep

for years, ralphs has been my main supplier for blank cds. but not anymore. the office supplies aisle has now become 100% useless to me

when i'm carrying my laundry to the washer, i always walk backwards so i don't drop and leave any socks behind. being efficient in my clothe washing is more important to me than the potential hazard of tripping and splitting my head open. laundry baskets are for nerds

i wonder how loud a butterfly would scream every time someone catches them by their wings

with minimal reception, my phone will receive text messages, but in the exact same spot, it will refuse to send them. my phone actually decided if given the chance, it would rather receive then give. how do you teach nokia products to be like scrooge in the last 20 minutes of christmas carol

i share my bathroom with my sister ange. there are 4 loofas in the shower. i don't use loofas. what the heck ange. girls are weird

these fell out of my mustache

2009-03-01T00:47:00.001-08:00

my life got about 85% more frustrating when my cat realized it could sit in my lap when i am using my computer

when i saw the shamwow commercial, i actually said out loud "holy s***"

me and tom decided to drive to mt baldy the other night. on the way, after realizing traffic exists on the 91 (its rare), we decided to visit a friend working at a church out there, which led to working and helping him out. after about 45 minutes of setting up AV equipment, we decided to leave and get food. we traveled 45 minutes to go work for free and eat chick fill a. worth it

my sister ange was making guacamole a while ago. she used more than just avocados. i learned that day that guacamole is complicated

whats up dream car. it's a dodge rampage. it just sounds so intense

i wonder at what age did i realize that the big stall is a handicapped stall. it couldn't have been before 18

when i'm engaged, i think i'll fake being paralyzed for a little bit. just to see if my fiance will wipe my tush. if she does, then i marry her. if she refuses, then it was never meant to be

my other goal for my wedding day is to make every man woman and child at the ceremony to cry when i read my vows. but the thing is, i need to make sure i don't cry when saying them. so i need to prepare. i figure the best way to prepare is like this-

1st step - watch armageddon and not cry at the end
2nd step - read the end of "where the red fern grows" to my mom and not cry
3rd and final step - watch puppies get put to sleep and not cry

after all that, i should be a hollow shell of a human being, which is perfect for my new bride

if church had longer, better, softer carpet, i bet more people would come. church carpet always sucks. lets get some brown shag up in there and see what happens

celebrating with allison's mac

2009-02-08T14:02:00.000-08:00

yea, it's the berlin wall

hey, i call my mom, she picks up about as often as i do

2009-01-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

so i have multiple stories. this will be a somewhat long blog, i'm sorry i guess. but i don't think i should really apologize. manners don't make sense sometimes

i'm working for this company called atema partners right now, and what we're doing is alot of hanging out, but partially doing av stuff for a huge conference at the venetian hotel in vegas. i can't give you the name of the company that's holding the conference, so lets call them "that doctor company"

lets cut to the chase. lets fox news this. every year they have a private concert for their company, and they don't cheap out on the bands. 3 years ago - counting crows. 2 years ago - faith hill. last year - matchbox 20 (i know, 1 year to late)

so this year they had 2, and they invited our company to come to it. they keep the band secret just for the fun of it. so we spread rumors about what band it was. so much fun

thursday night they had the show

first act. a comedian. not stoked. its that frank guy from frank tv. i didn't really care that much for him so i left and did some work.

second act
maroon 5
no joke, freakin full band maroon 5 playing this private event

i don't realize how much i like certain big bands until i suddenly am watching them for free at a private event

after the show, i hang with our company dudes, then get to bed around 2am. i get in bed, turn on the tv and see judge dredd on so i put that on. i'm going to switch styles of telling this next story so i can explain it correctly

sleeping
fire alarm. it's loud. and annoying
geez that's loud, should i get up. nawwwww
alarm continues
yea i should get up. i'll call tom, see if it's going off on his floor to
pick up phone, look around and realize
he wont be able to hear me in here, i should go out in the hall
step out in the hall
door slams behind me
i look around and it just slowly dawns on me that i'm only in my boxers, and all i have is my phone, and the door is locked
well that was dumb
second time i look around is to see if anyone was in the hall, i look at my phone to see what time it is. lots of looking
230am
ok, i'll call tom and maybe he has an extra key to my room
i know he doesn't but my mind is still resting on my pillow
beep hey tom beeeeep
what
is the beeeeep fire alarm going off in your beeeeeep in your room? beeeeep
no. it's not. why are you calling me
beeeeeeppppp i'm locked outside my room beeeeeepppp in my boxers
hahahahaha
*click*
shoot. well i need to find a phone and call the front desk
fire alarm continues
lady comes up to me
hi! whats going on?
i'm locked out of my room
i look at her and see her empty hands and no open door in sight
did you bring your room key
shocked look on lady's face
5 minutes later we're sitting on the floor waiting for the operator to not be busy and talk to us
2 minutes later, me and lin (her name was lin, and she had 5 cocktails and was not sober) are standing in front of our own doors waiting for security
vegas sucks
security walks up, opens up my door
sir, i need to see your id to make sure this is your room
oh yea bro, for sure bro, let me get it bro, hold on
confused by my own choice in method of conversation
security walks in to wait
door slams
knock on the door
we exchange looks of confusion
security opens the door
old lady standing there
whats going on?
oh, don't worry maam, its - -
hey, why are you in his room?
she points to security, and to me as she says this
realization that i'm still in my boxers
security reads the awkwardness. not quickly, but the turtle still finished the race
oh maam, uhhhh, its, uhhh, i'm just letting him in his room, nothing's happening
old lady thinks i'm an arson
vegas sucks
security leaves
i decide to finish judge dredd. why not, i'm awake anyway
sylvester says "guilty" as he shoots a guy
this movie rules

i read somewhere that if your hotel room is super dry, then you should hang a wet towel in front of the air vent. i couldn't hang anything in front of the opening, so i just soaked some towels and hucked them over some chairs. it didn't do anything. stupid book full of lies

there's a little "g" on my phone when i use the internet on it. when i lose connection while i'm still on the internet, it'll put a slash through the "g". whenever this happens, i realized that i always say in my head - shoot, i lost my g

i just found the man i hate more then terrorism

2009-01-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

robby takac

bass player from goo goo dolls

he is terrible. in every way. i can't stand it. if you don't believe me,
his myspace

he is continually doing horrible songs on all their records. try listening to "january friend" off of dizzy up the girl

blllllleeeeeeeeeecccchchhhh

lavo lounge booyah

2009-01-25T00:03:00.000-08:00

staff party on the top lounge of the lavo lounge. open bar, buffet and a dude in the bathroom that hands you towels after you wash your hands. so much fun

becker is on at least 3 different stations at all times on vegas tv. vegas folk love becker. and becker loves vegas folk

i spent an hour in the shower watching sumo wrestling. only in vegas

i haven't seen the sun in 2 days. only in vegas

i have stepped on everything in my hotel room. not even kidding, i walked in and jumped on the beds, stepped on all the tables, jumped on the couch, stood on all the chairs and ran across the coffee table. i then turned on the water in both sinks, the bathtub, and the shower all at once, then flushed the toilet over and over. then i turned the air conditioning on full blast at 50 degrees. i then mooned the city from my 29th floor hotel room. only in vegas

i have to be up early for work, i better to get to bed. uuuuggghghhghgrhrghhh

*this last part is for david hughes*
"hey son, i've got some bad news. your mom and i are getting a divo-"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNN FUUUUUUURRRRRRREEEEEENNNNNNZZZZZAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

yea i made it

2009-01-23T21:31:00.000-08:00

so i made it to vegas.

i've been trying to do a video blog and post it. but when your camera's screen doesn't work, things are difficult. didn't have the right cable at first, now i have to download all the freakin pictures on it because i can't delete them on the camera without the screen working, and now i don't even know if the battery will last because i don't remember the last time i charged it

this is frustrating, but we'll see

heading to veegas

2009-01-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

i woke up on the couch today. forgot i slept here. got woken up by the bird talking and laughing. then realized that my mom was also talking. then double realized that, no it was in fact still the bird. then triple realized that my sister ange was talking. then 4th realized that my sister is not in town right now. that bird is good

i'm heading to vegas. we're leaving for the airport in 2 hours. i still have to-
1. shower
2. get dressed
3. pack
4. go pick up a check
5. go cash that check so i have money in vegas
6. go pick up a pair of jeans from H&M
7. find a pair of kakis to wear in vegas
8. print out all my travel information
9. realize that it's raining outside
10. booyah

ok, i better get going, my brain is starting to fight me

labels for this post: e.g. scooters, vacation, fall

2009-01-20T16:47:00.001-08:00

you don't realize how important your tailbone is until you sit down weird and your belt bruises it, and your limping for multiple days and lose at a game of tip-it with travis and dave

there's 3 levels of boredom for me
level 1 - the "i'm choosing to be bored right now so i'm ok" stage.
~this usually involves turning on the tv, and snacking on just about anything that i can get my idle devil hands on

level 2 - the "being content with watching anything on tv, absolutely no requirements for the program" stage
~i'm generally drifting in and out of a nap for the entirety of this stage
~i'm way to lazy to turn on lights as the sun starts to set, so it gets pretty pathetic looking after a while
~my body has grown weak to accept usually easy tasks, such as talking on the phone, or removing the other sock that i forgot to take off when i sat on the couch

level 3 - the super gittery "i'm freaking out and need to get out of here now" stage
~at this point i'm beyond watching just tv, i need to multi-task. laundry is started, i'm texting over 5 people at once, playing some kind of instrument, and planning my finances for the coming weeks
~disneyland passes get purchased in this stage

i'm watching star trek right now. i never watch this show. obama is certainly changing things

i tried watching the inauguration speech on my DVR a few minutes ago. it chose to record 8 hours of gems tv instead. stupid technology

yeeeeoooo

2009-01-19T13:58:00.000-08:00

so a good friend of mine decided to let me borrow her old computer for a bit while she is in africa hanging out. besides the fact that i'm super thankful, the other fact is that i can blog way more frequently. awesome

first thing i did with this computer was go to the refinery and use the free wi fi. i sat down and a huge group of visitors came up behind me as i was turning on the computer. i quickly realized that they would all see any image that was the background as the computer loaded up, and i had no idea what it was. quick prayers were definately answered. no awkward background pics

i then opened itunes to find crystal lewis albums in bulk. thank you allison. the first song i listened to was definately "come just as you are".

personal pet peeve - not having that "2 finger scroll" thing activated on laptops. it kills me. allison, i'm sorry, but i'm turning it back on

and 5 minutes later, i still can't figure out how to turn it back on. you win for now powerbook

still blasting crystal lewis in my headphones

i want to already be awesome with a butterfly knife. also every sega game ever, and backflips

if you didn't know already, costco kicked me out of the club. sucks. it felt weird, i've never been kicked out of a club. i wonder how it feels to get kicked out of other clubs like a chess club or a bowling club or the AAA club or AA club.

every so often i'll call someone and by the time they pick up, i'll have forgotten the purpose for the call. at this point i generally look around real quick and just ask the first question that comes to mind from my surroundings. ex. "oh hi mom, uhhhh...can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home? oh ok great"

just realized i've been listening to christmas music for the past 3 songs. turning it off, and going outside. it's to nice of a day out to spend it inside on a computer listening to crystal lewis telling me she'll be home for christmas

tell them that the house is not for sale because the furnace is broke

2008-12-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

my mom has a group of santas in the dinning room. they are very skinny, wooden santas. she calls them "the lord of the santas" and laughs every time she says it. i love my mom

i could be 80 years old and still think hiccups and farts are hilarious

i was watching scrubs the other day and it made me wonder what my tough biker name would be. like dragon king, or hells boot, or chainsaw king. but i'd probably just end up being gecko slayer

when i'm driving home from work, i can't shake the feeling that i have tons and tons of groceries in my car

oh yea, if you didn't know already...

booooyah. i work at costco. and as a costco employee i get to realize things like;

most common combination of food is: bananas, nuts, and avocados
hello kitty boom boxes are this years "hot item" at costco
costco employees love the lottery
costco shoppers love their mustaches to the max

just some quick ones

2008-12-12T11:22:00.000-08:00

helicopters circling light my curiosity faster then a california wild fire. i could be on my way to a job interview, see a helicopter cicling and not get a job that day because i'm driving around town chasing chaos

i'm not ok with toilet paper commercials

30 second bloggggggin

2008-12-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

whenever me and my sisters run out of toothpaste, we always go into our parents bedroom and take theirs. whenever they see it gone, they know to get some more. this still applies when we are moved out

war may not be the answer, but neither are negative bumper stickers and prius's

it kills me that mary kate and ashley olson sold over 800 thousand copies of this-brother for sale

i've been thinking of getting a turtle tattoo. nikki wants to call it a tat-turtle

i had wing stop for breakfast the other day. no regrets 08

getting ready for the music video

2008-11-30T00:42:00.000-08:00

you have to prepare for these things. luckily i have a good friend named gabe to help me out

post on mypsace and facebooks and blogs worldwide

Refinery Episode 1

2008-10-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

Camera slowly zooms out of a manly yet conservative mustache. slowly reveals taylor ishii standing in all his glory at the entrance to the majestic, urban, kind-of-reminds-me-of-a-tank, building which we like to call....

THE REFINERY

our hero, taylor, is working tonight, also known as "ishii-ing". his job is to generally rule the refinery and make sure the hooligans don't wreck the place.

crave has just finished and the always incredibly indecisive college-ins are beginning the discussion of "where to go now"

typical crave guy (TCG, but not typical college guy, they are completely different) - "we should go to in-n-out"

girl 1 - "no, we went last week. lets go to sushi! i know a place. we should go there because i'm familiar with it"

girl 2 - "but by the time we finish discussing this and leave it will probably be closed. hahahaha!!"

all three together - "lol!!"

taylor looks at camera and rolls his eyes in typical taylor fashion

mute math - "the typicaaaaaallll"

meanwhile every other person in the refinery is having pretty much the exact same discussion, so lets go upstairs

taylor looks at camera - "here let me show you my crib"

camera does weird repeat shot thing that always makes luke sick

luke - "yea it does"

upstairs we see ping pong tables, billiard tables, pool tables, pocket billiard tables, spa tables, regular tables, fable tables, maple tables, coffee tables, oak tables, end tables, pizza tables, poker tables, joker tables, black jack tables, flap jack tables, weird high tables that are part of a beam of some sort tables, glass tables on top of car tire tables, and chairs.

2 hours later

Oh no! the crave people are yet to decide on anything at all!

TCG - "so, i still think we should hit up in-n-out"

girl 1 - "no way! lets get sushi, i haven't had sushi in so long!"

girl 2 - "hahaha, its closed now! how funny is that?!?"

group - "lol!!"

david - "lets get poolside, right now"

just then we hear a trumpet, a guitar, and that weird fat guitar thingy that i think is a bass, play that song that is usually at the beginning of spanish movies

taylor - "they have come. they have come to play soccer. and holy crap they have jerseys"

yes, taylor is correct. all the workers that he invited to play a pick-up game of soccer have come. camera pans across every one of them, all wearing mexico jerseys, all with thick burly mustaches, and all with generations of naturally skilled soccer skills in their blood. these are the men that play soccer

and these are also the men that love destroying young college-ins at their national past time.

taylor needs a team. and fast! what are his options??

1. ask crave-ers to play
pro- people on the team
con= it'll take them another 2 hours to decide if they even want to start thinking about maybe playing

2. play by himself
pro - he can start the game and maybe only lose by 40 points
con- years of counseling to convince himself that he knows how to actually play soccer

3. cancel the game
pro - no game, no worries
con- angry mexican workers staring him down for the rest of his years, and constant jokes made in spanish

4. run away
pro- get to live in florida
con- have to live in florida

everyone in the refinery - "ewwwww!!!!"

oh what will the iish do??

tune in next time to

crave episodes!

i mean...

THE REFINERY

i should've written this one sooner

2008-10-15T01:57:00.001-07:00

so me and dillon were working at this house the other day. i was working in the living room, dillan was running all over the house doing random stuff, and the owners had left. i would've been totally alone if it wasn't for their unbelievably cute puppy named "bella"

no matter where i was working, the dog would come and sit next to me and fall asleep. not even watching me, just in my general area. i would move, and he (she maybe?) it would follow.

only problem is, every time it came over to sit down, it would fart. like huge smelling but totally quiet farts. they smelled so unbelievably bad, i just couldn't understand how a dog that small could create a stench that horrible. but he/she/it would just look up at me and wag his/her/its tail. so i couldn't be mad obviously

dilan never got to experience the terror of the bella gas

i would see him/her/it coming and start singing "under my smelly bella-ella--ella---a---a" and she/him/it would run to me. so freakin cute. so i took pictures of bella hanging out with me

drafts

2008-10-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

so to recap, whenever i get an idea for a blog, i write a text and save it to my drafts. sometimes i also save things i have to remember, eg. - songs to look up, things to do, people's names to remember, etc. i usually delete after i don't need the text anymore, but sometimes i forget

these are all the ones i forgot to delete. every single one, no exclusions

note - there are typos because i am doing these exactly how they are on my phone. i don't spell correctly on my phone all the time because i don't care. these are in order from most new to most old. keep in mind - there are 61 of them, so it's the longest post i've ever done ever

enjoy!

bernard proposed to rose and her answer was - 'i'm dying'. what a freakin debbie downer

jon

take time to realize

doubting thomas - nickel creek

prius owners are so cocky with all the freakin pro-peace, pro-earth, pro-choice and anti bush stickers they put all over their cars

what do you have? jazz bass. how many strings? four. ha! i win! wait what, that doesn't mean you won at all

and the little bugger farts like a maniac

north 405. off at santa monica. take a right. left at beverly glen(about a mile ish) corner of rochester & beverly glen. 10394 rochester

mustache men never shy from using double negatives

wow

clair's accent is so fake, she totally doesn't have it in this one scene

jolein ray

mustache men chew gum more often then they don't chew gum

my goofball status, concerning making kids laugh has definately jumped a few notches during mustache week

construction rig accident

what's mario's favorite kind of pants. denim denim denim

only at starbucks would i hear bob marley played right after damien rice

i have started measuring distances to places by hom many summer wilshire songs i get through before i get there

the deliciously mundane and curiously uncute

damn squeek shoes

but i'm right. i swear i'm right, it's like.....i knew it all along

play a harmonica

get different regular glasses, and sweet sunglasses

jesus is a friend of mine

you wear your bass so low! the other bass players wear them way high. it's so gay

how many bedrooms

ketton

do binoculars work underwater

shangrala

i always imagine what i would do on if i was on the island. what i would build, how i would build it, where i would build it. i imagine what i would do everyday, what i would do for clothes

lost is the greatest show ever

whats th key to comedy timing

just realized that God gave all men a pee gun come standard

i have this weird skill of being able to spot fake babies on tv shows or movies

fact- if you eat enough volcano tabo from tabo bell- your pomp turns red

subblime

pedi paws

but i also don't like maids of honor that half ass their duties. screw them

maids of honor that take the 'make sure the dress looks good when i'm at the altar' part way to extensively

it's never not amazing to me that the bride doesn't trip on her dress

ten bridesmaids?!? seriously? thats just

taking a nap during church is always so sketchy for me because i talk and mutter in my sleep. i'm scared of what i might shout in my sleep

it's a possibility that every saint was the same person, based on the paintings in every catholic church in the universe

jeffany

174

pizza and

yea. s

questions on my mind - can flies fly straight? ever?

stacy clark

sons of thunder

everything you do must be in love

love is a choice, attraction is not

5 north exit jeffery. turn left then a right on walnut left on yale. left on karen ann lane it's on the right

throwing an axe at a used

a verse of some sort on one side, another verse in french on the other

first time in my life i've ever wanted a mustache boob

psalm 54

film a commercial selling catch

jumping makes pee procrastinate

men with big beards probably don't go on first dates much because of food always hanging from their mustaches

1247

well there you go.

if peeing your pants is cool, consider me greg vail

2008-10-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

every night as i get into bed, i get to see every pokemon character in creation. my sheets are pokemon sheets. why do i not get new ones? because i can't convince myself that spending the money is worth it. so until then, hello pokemon sheets

flys aren't scary. they really aren't. they are small and not intimidating. but one of those little buggers get near your ear without you looking, and it will freak you out to no end

on my deathbed, my final request will be that greg vail admit to me that he started playing sax because of the bodyguard soundtrack

i was at disneyland the other day and came to a realization. parades are gay. end of story

went to a baseball game the other day. kimmy gibbler sang the national anthem. i was the only one in the whole stadium that realized who she was

i was in line in the express lane at the store. woman in front of me has over 30 items, pays with cash and check, and has coupons, and is very elderly definitely did not speak english. i have incredible patience for these kinds of things but i couldn't help but laugh out loud at how long it all took. everyone else found no humor in the situation. i almost said "the express line 15 items or less, unless you don't speak english apparently" but sass was never my strong point

the law of the mustache man

2008-09-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

- mustache men are always polite to the ladies, and always hold doors open for them

- mustache men always love their moms and will never refuse to wear any sweater given to them by their mother

- mustache men have motorcycles, or aspire to get one

- mustache men always make clever points, but are never proud or boastful about such things. they'll only give a close lipped smile, turn the head slightly, and wink

- mustache men never get frustrated at television programs, they only make comments about the program using clever facts and proverbs. this usually involves pointing

- mustache men with accents are rare and always need to be valued in the mustache posse

- mustache men have all had their run ins with the law, but calmly avoid going into detail about such events

- mustache men never turn down an opportunity to dress like a gentleman

- mustache men wearing hats are required to tilt their head down to any lady present

- mustache men only cry when..... wait... mustache men never ever cry ever

- mustache men are natural gunslingers

secret stache

2008-09-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

lost my glasses. first casualty of mustache week

it's not that i forget that i have a mustache, it's that i forget what i look like with one. every time i wake up and look in the mirror, it's a shock

at night outside, when it gets really really cold, phil (my mustache) gets really cold. it feels like little prickly spider fingers crawling into my mouth, which obviously is terrifying

when thinking of things to do with a mustache, you start realizing that there is an extremely thin line between doing manly mustache activities, and doing gay mustache activities. who woulda thought that walking around with suspenders, no shirt, a yellow hard hat and a giant wrench is gay if you have a mustache

inspiration for what i wore on sunday

2008-09-22T15:09:00.000-07:00

mustache week has begun

2008-09-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

josh treece and i have decided to dedicate this entire week to the mustache. this was not originally going to be a huge deal, we just wanted to have mustache's for a week. but as more and more men caught on to what was going to happen, some have decided to jump in and rock a mustache for a week.

there have been many posts already about this week and it only started sunday. it lasts till saturday, and on saturday i will be shaving the mustache off. hang with me and witness the new facial feature that i have spent the past month building. here are the links to the other blogs already written about this week.

mustache week official beginning blog

dave's testimony

cnn interview

i dont think i even know this guy

thor life?

i feel like there are more, but i don't have time to look at every single one. let me know if you see any

let the games begin. i'll be updating quite frequently this week on the various things i've been doing with my new stache

september 6th/7th never forget

2008-09-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

on september 6th, i ate a fudgescicle in the shower

when eating a fudgescicle in the shower, you for some reason can't stop dancing. but it's not real dancing, it's like when a toddler dances. you just kinda move your hips and your legs don't do much and your arms do whatever they want

when i got out of the shower, i dried myself off with a "finding nemo" towel. i did this because - at the end of a race, you usually have friends or family giving you high fives and hugs. but in the bathroom thats totally awkward, so i have fictional disney characters to give me props when i ate the fudgescicle in the shower

on the day that i ate a fudsgescicle in the shower, for the first time in my life i felt it necessary to have a mustache comb

every time i see a girl reading, i now assume it's that twilight series. so far i've been 100% right

what spin do i have to put on the ball so i don't suck at ping pong

playing ping pong on top of a very steep hill seems like the worst idea ever

i want a bug zapper. but i also want a bug attracter so i have more bugs to zap

on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower, i decided to make trombone players my #1 enemy #1

drummer playing at the wedding i mixed on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower - was african american and was eating fried chicken (that he brought from home) during the wedding

the cd's in my 6 disc cd changer in my car the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower
1. random worship cd (couple crowder, some hillsong, some phil wickham, some summer wilshire....)
2. the lakes (good band, used to be watshi wa, played the last show at the vault RIP)
3. recording of worship from crave this week (not that good of a recording, future trash item)
4. mixed cd sam gave me (it's a very odd collection of songs, but totally good to rock out to)
5. the gallows (if your angry, if your driving fast or if your off roading, but this on)
6. ryan adams - heartbreaker (98% of the time, i'm listening to this. so 98% of the time, i couldn't care less that i have a 6 cd disc changer)

on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower, i didn't sleep and ended up working super late, watching lost season one, and having to leave early in the morning to play at a church. so that morning i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower

on the day i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower, i went to el pollo loco and got a burrito. i think the girl behind the counter liked me because the burrito i got was bigger then chipotle sized burritos. it was unreal. i also got an arnold palmer which was fantastic

on the day i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower, i dressed up nice because i made a promise with a friend that we would dress up nice. but apparently that only applied to me. over dressing for church is always a weird experience

list of things i've accomplished in the shower
1. drank a cactus cooler
2. ate a bowl of watermelon
3. ate a fudgescicle
4. drank a red bull sugar free

that guy riding a motorcycle that gets a sunburn on his lower back because he's wearing a t-shirt that keeps flapping up

2008-09-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

i now see jean purchases as investments in future shorts

i pride myself in how quiet i can run in dress shoes

the law of the local indie band:
1st - most important, look cool and dirty. ex- v neck's, tight jeans, long dirty hair, facial hair is absolutely necessary
2nd - don't smile. you smile and your out of the band
3rd - get some dudes (bonus if its coed) together and start writing songs. quantity of songs is important, remember that
4th - get instruments, but exclude random usually important ones to make it more indie ex - no drums or no bass or no guitar
5th - lastly and definitely of least importance, learn how to play your instrument

if i'm driving and i see a plastic bottle of any sort in the street, all other goals are temporarily suspended until i attempt to run it over. after the attempt, all normal actions are resumed

come on spa, really? 3 1/4 ft deep? no one is really counting, and no one can tell 3 inches. just put 3ish

my cupholders can't hold most cups because they are that awkward size thats just a little to small. but they hold pringle cans quite nice, so i'm totally fine with it

top three best things about vegas:
1. being able to talk on your cell phone and drive legally
2. spitting inside casinos
3. buffets where you can have pepperoni pizza, mashed potatoes, taquitos, sushi and giant crazy crab legs on the same plate

top three sucky things about vegas (also known as a blow up list)
1. 120 degree weather at midnight
2. disgusting slushi margaritas that are put in guitar hero controller shaped cups
3. getting stuck off roading when driving home in the 120 degree heat at noon in the middle of between-vegas-and-civilization road (also known as Zzyzx road)

thank you steve from franks tow service for pulling us out with your gmc american masterpiece of off road machinery

btw - steve of course has a crazy accent and a kickin stache

felt the need to

2008-08-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

when i think of things, just anything really that i want to remember, i will always type a text message and save it as a draft on my cell phone. i had a literal bucket full of ideas, but i went to the pool and decided to not remove my cell phone from my pocket. so also literally, many many many blog ideas died with my phone that day. i apologize for my idiocricy

when my phone died, instead of just not working, it decided to just vibrate constantly without letting any of the other functions of the phone be operable. no screen, no dialing, nothing, but it sure shootin could vibrate. i assume that thats the phone screaming in agony. you would think that it would scream with an annoying cell phone ring or just beep repeatedly

the person who's cell phone goes off at any public event (be it-church, movie theatre, sheryl crow concert), just happens to be the same person who doesn't know how to change the ringtone from the default one

i was at sam's house a while ago, and we were outside eating pretzels. his mom comes out and takes them away, saying that she needs those pretzels to help sam's little brother with his math homework. i instantly realized that this was the first time in my life that geometry prevented me from eating snacks

i'm almost positive that someone a long time ago simply started a rumor that eating the skin of cucumbers and potatoes could be healthy, probably as a joke

list of debbie downers to use if the time is right:
+if there is a pause in the conversation+ = "hey could we just take this time as a moment of silence for all the thousands of people in africa that wont eat today"
+if a cat walks by+ = "hey that looks like my old cat. but it probably isn't, it wasn't moving after dad ran over it with the truck"
+watching a boxing match+ = "man i remember my first black eye, mom sure was drunk that night"

i just can't even comprehend the thought process of the guy that saw the script for the first episode of "two and a half men" and thought "chuh-ching"

my mom bought the movie cloverfield. she's never seen it, so she wants me to watch it and tell her if she'll like it

yea yea yea!!! yeaaaa!! 7yyeaea

2008-06-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

i needed inspiration for this blog so i freakin kicked on Audioslave. specifically the track gasoline. specifically freakin sweet. yeaaa!!!!

the theme is obviously burning gasoline with no actual metaphor behind it, which i identify with because i set ablaze billions of barrels of gas in my backyard as i dance with a giant can of cactus cooler that talks like fred savage

i dont like LA because i get lost easy there. if i am not automatically completed familiar with standard streets in a new area then i refuse to acclimate

i started a new job that rules. i install crazy stuff and make houses super sweet. the actual job description is; "go to people's houses and install crazy stuff and make their house super sweet, and don't forget to kick ass"

our insane beeper bird named pedro just received a big mirror from us, his (maybe her? freakin a-sexual birds) owners which means us. ever since then, it has made a weird noise as it stares into the mirror. i feel like it's trying to mate with the mirror, which means it's in love with the image which means it's in love with him/her/itself. which therefor means i have a homosexual, possibly a-sexual, and absolutely unknowingly conceited devil bird. freakin cocktails....cockatails....cockotails? freakin birds and their uncontrollable conceit

ehhhh gotta get in the shower
later pollos

-ellvis luke peter vincent saint hilaire of bel air lines

2008-05-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

some of my thoughts about pigeons

first of all, i didn't know how hard it was to spell pigeon till i spent the past 5 minutes trying to figure that one out. i wonder if adam also got to choose how to spell the animals name. if so, what a jerk. llama? serious? come on adam

there are a few select pigeons out there that want to be vultures. you will typically see them away from the pack, up high, but not to high, looking down on you looking solemn. but in it's head, it is so stoked

pigeon by itself= sometimes cute, unscary
pigeon in swarm=freakin terrifying, hide

pigeons with one leg don't bob their heads like normal pigeons. but they will still poop on jesse's hat if they get a chance, which makes them as annoying as every other bird on the earth

manchester united vs chelsea

2008-05-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

why have i not written anything in a while. good question. but here's a better question; how do you fix mac powerbooks for free

so here's my letter to my mac

dear powerboss, (that's his name)

we had a really good relationship, and i miss you. i miss being able to listen to my favorite matchbox twenty song while browsing the fantastically fast internet. your keys were comforting and i miss your garage band beats. they always seemed original and creative (even though every mac had them). remember that time i was writing a blog, and i accidently wrote "boobey force" and you pointed it out? we laughed and laughed, i was in tears, and you were rofl-ing. your suggested book marks were always a great help, and i felt like we learned something new about each other daily. we were doing good powerboss

than i woke up and your stupid screen is all stupid white and everything works but i can't see crap on your stupid screen you stupid computer stupid head.

RIP powerboss
-luke

lets do this

2008-04-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

i was working around the house today and i smelled a fire. i walked outside and santi could smell it, along with sam and jesse. the people here could not smell the fire. i realized californians have a 6th sense for when there's a fire

i helped cook dinner the other night again. i made chicken, well i didn't make chicken. there are so many fried chicken places around here, and every single one of them looks so good. kabab places look freakin delicious to. they have a giant rotating slab of meat that they carve off of for the meat, and i asked what kind of meat it is. the guy said "it has some lamb in it" and he stopped talking. i asked what else might be in it, but he just stared at me. it tasted pretty good

i saw 2 dudes doing wheelies on vespas the other day. i couldn't help but yell, i was so stoked. what else did i yell out of joy in the past few days?
1. getting ice cream things at the store that were sooo good
2. walking outside today and not having to wear jackets
3. hearing the ice cream truck drive by, me and sam yelling out of our bedroom window
4. finally having clean clothes again
5. finding out my mom might be sending me pringles today
6. i don't have to cook dinner tonight, first time in days
7. being comfortable on my bed
8. i still laugh when i look at that last post i did

taste of london night life

2008-04-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

santi snoring sounds like a kitten. so here are a bunch of kittens

the kids have school uniforms

2008-04-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

today, an old man was sitting next to us on the tube, smelled pretty foul actually, and he looked familiar. sure he was wearing gray sweatpants, and about 16 different types of various jackets, and a green beanie, but when he spoke i realized. the guy was where the lucky charms leprechaun would end up and act like when he's retired, drunk, and hates the kids that sit next to him on the tube

i knew i recognized him

alright here we really go

2008-04-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

this how my day really was

freakin get on the tube to find my old friend josh's church. all i knew was the address. 1a kennington road. and it was a coffee shop at a church. no big deal right?

first of all, there are 4-5 different types of kennington road. ex - kennington, kennington road, kennington drive, kennington avenue, kennington circle. plus the fact that there is a kensington road very close to kennington road. so thanks london

me and sam walking around. but i have my turtle neck so i'm fine. but i look up
its going to rain

so we're trying to find this place, and we are literally taking the tube, looking at maps, and walking around for about an hour before it just starts pouring rain. so we're lost, and now its even hailing. we are laughing, because it's funny, but what the heck london.

then a cop drives by and hits a puddle and drenches us in puddle water, as it's hailing. thanks london

more on this day tomorrow. my room mates are pissed that i'm still up typing and it's 3 am here

later pollos

about to sleep

2008-04-10T19:20:00.001-07:00

walked around london today. realized something; its not cold enough to wear 2 jackets, but it is cold enough to regret not wearing 2 jackets

went to an art museum. my favorite part was walking up to a couch almost full of people and asking if that seat is taken. then just passing out for half an hour. woke up to sam santi and jesse being jealous. yea, i come up with the good ideas

"ew luke, dont wear a turtle neck, its not even that cold out"
fine i wont
*brain says* - what are you thinking, its going to be freezing. put that thing on now
no its fine, it wont be that cold
*legs say* - yea no big deal
*chest says* - we dont need a turtle neck. this deep v will do just fine
yea brain, geez

----6 hours later------

*chest says* - luke your an idiot
why is it so cold, blimey
*brain says* - yea! huh, well look what you did. turtle neck looks kind of cool now huh? idiot
*legs say* - man im so tired and cold and tired. go to that couch and rest, those people wont care
this v neck is really not warm at all
*brain says* - told you so told you so
*legs say* - what are you even doing in an art museum
art is stupid
*brain says* - your stupid
*shelby says* - your all stupid. wear more turtle necks

taste the semi-authenticity

2008-04-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

i'm in london. weird

everyone smells fine getting on a 10 hour plane ride. about 6 hours into it, the odor gets a little out of hand. 9 hours into it, your sitting on the floor in the lavatory listening to your ipod shuffle until the stewardess asks for a second time if your ok

even in london, kids still watching pimp my ride. even in london, pimped cars look stupid

freakin drivers here are out of control. small roads, cars parked on both sides, i still haven't seen a speed limit sign. ballzy red coats

listening to your shuffle while sleeping is cool and all, till it lands on limp bizkit. then you jolt awake and freak out that nerdy british dude reading star wars across the aisle from you

my elbows aren't meant for the aisle seat, because the beverage cart isn't meant to avoid my elbows when i'm attempting to get some freakin sleep

no i don't like the movie "ps i love you". but it was either that or "i am legend" in french with chinese subtitles. thanks airfrance for the terrific movie selection

pringles have that amazing power to make you feel at home no matter where you go

i'll probably regret this in the morning

2008-03-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

its shocking how often i'll be in cvs and hear the theme song from beauty and the beast

i met my sisters new boyfriend last night. i meant to ask him a bunch of real tough questions, but i settled for these few. mercedes thinks i was being a jerk, but it was totally worth it

1. you have a job? you went to college? where? how long?
2. where do you live? why do you live with your sister?
3. what are your thoughts on moving in with your girlfriend before marriage?
4. what are your intentions with my sister?
5. are you 2 actually dating, or is this just hanging out?
6. do you go to church? why not?
7. what are your thoughts about sex before marriage?

i didn't make him answer that last one, i started just laughing way to hard

whatever i'm a brother. i'm allowed to ask these questions

elbow you into my life

2008-03-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

the main reason why i love going to small shows is that it is a perfect breeding ground for unbearable awkwardness.
eg.- you see someone you know, you wave kind of, they see you but they smile but they might be looking at someone else, do you walk up? maybe you dont, but maybe they walk up to you, do you hug? maybe a small handshake. good luck trying to make conversation, but what the heck, you'll try anyways. oh you cant hear? well do you go outside, or was the only thing you were going to say was hello? then do you hang around them, or walk away?
its like a symphony of uncomfortable situations

every morning, without fail, a ball of lint will have formed in my bell button over night. and every morning in the shower, it escapes and runs down my leg and out of my life forever.
the other day i named it "cletus". every morning i've named the new guy
yesterday i yelled at fitzpatrick and told him to get out, and never come back. i stared him down as he headed down the drain

i feel like singing, i feel like dancing, i feel like boppin!! bop it, twist it, pull it

i don't care what corporate Honda says, it will always be the pond. emilio!!

no matter how many mints i eat, or how many pieces of gum i have, or the extensive time i spend brushing. if i burp, it was all for nothing

i love seeing someone get pulled over. especially for running red lights. oh man, if i see someone run a red and get pulled over, my week is complete

sometimes we work for people that i am certain have made up an accent. and why does she always have stuff to do in "lahuna beetch"?

i dont care about baseball

2008-03-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

a long time ago, i went to a baseball game with...someone. i can't remember who, but i was there and the angels were playing and i kept trying to freak people out by waving my arms like that one kid in "angels in the outfield"

i kept walkin around because honestly, baseball is boring to me. i like the atmosphere and i like relaxing and hanging out, but i think i was with some lame people, which led to me making laps around the field

eventually it came time when i needed to pee. which is a normal thing to do in the life of a man. so i searched and found a bathroom

i walk in and there are probably 25 urinals in a row with no barrier in between. they are those ones that go to the floor (ladies, i know you wouldn't understand so you can just skip this part). guys you know what i'm talkin about. you could almost step into them

as an added bonus, i am completely alone in this bathroom. no one there and it's a big bathroom. clean too, which is odd. i'm at a baseball stadium, shouldn't there be chewing tobacco spit on the floor and spilt beer everywhere?

so i'm doing my thing (i picked the middle urinal because i like the space. in fact i love the space. i stretched my arms out to express how devoted i was to this space) and i hear someone come in

this next part is how i remember the conversation. i honestly don't know much about baseball, and what he was saying was complete gibberish to me, so i will "italisize" everything that he says

hey can you believe that double play? man, jimmy johnson really can turn that happenin around
...yea dude totally (i'm still in mid-pee)
yea after seeing that brush back from jimmy in that non existent strike zone, i couldn't believe he almost struck out that clean up hitter
....yea i couldn't believe it (this guy must be kidding, who the hell is jimmy?)

at this point the freakin guy pulls up to the urinal right next to me, and continues this completely ridiculous conversation

yea at first josh johnson had his foot in the bucket, but when the top of the 3rd, he really knocked the cover off the ball, and got that home run derby. so when he was up again, i was all mendoza line
...yea, one day he should really get that looked at (luke hurry up hurry up just finish already and get out of here)
yea nick johnson was completely off base when that fly ball right off the bat at the bottom of the 6th. i heard a bunch of rhubarb behind me about the call, saying it was foul
(done, thank heaven) its weird how that happens sometimes
(ok i may be in a rush, but i'm not gross. time to clean the hands)

hey, is elliot johnson coming up on the mound today or will it be that screwball russ johnson?!? hahahaha!!
you know what man, i really honestly have no idea, i don't know anything about....(whats this sport?)....baseball
hahaha yea your right, he's not coming up today after reed johnson parked his fastball in the 2nd. i turned to my buddy and was like "say it aint so joe!" hahahahaha!!
(this man is not listening to anything i'm saying)
alright man, i'll catch you later i guess
ok but check out the cat-bird seat air mail when baltimore chop basket catch blocks the plate that little wanker!!
...ok later

i just want to publicly announce that there is no chatting in mens bathrooms. and if by some chance, there has to be conversation, it has to be quick and with friends only

Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap while playing baseball, and he used to change it every two innings

just me and the ritz

2008-03-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

i'm not overdramatic, doing sound for horrible bands really actually makes me want to shoot a harpoon into my mouth

loud keyboard amps are my new worst enemy. i will make a group solely bent to the end of them. we will have meetings, and patches on jackets

no matter what, if i'm on the phone with someone having a serious conversation and i hear them order food at a drive through, it's over

sometimes i want to buy those fake eyes that people need when they lose an eye, and leave them places. eg; attics, fast food restaurants, urinals, on top of blind dogs, outside of braille colleges, inside people's jacket pockets, cereal boxes, kids strollers

someone just proposed on stage at a local band night at the vault. she said yes, we all witnessed it. every couple in the room kissed each other. i kissed shelby

when i'm at work and i've got a bunch of stuff in my hands (usually a ladder) and i have to go through a door, i look around and see if anyone is close. but i don't ask for help, i just kind of stumble and look just completely pathetic. every time, someone comes running and opens that door. sure, i put my pride on the line, but whatever i'm not opening that door with all this trash in my hands

i realized about 2 weeks ago that everyday at work, i will somehow get a cut and bleed just a bit. sometimes alot, sometimes not that much. so i bleed just a little bit every day. i also have headaches. does this qualify me for midol

the stages to perfection

2008-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

stage one
buy a 1986 pontiac fiero for $300

stage two
fix her up
1. pull out radiator, patch the hole and re-install
2. pull out water pump, replace with new one
3. flush out radiator and all hoses with water hose
4. replace battery

stage three
spray paint entire car flat black

stage four
add custom intake, and create hole in exhaust to create the loudest machine ever

perfection

oh yea this little guy

2008-02-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

thoughts before getting my tattoo

sid's tattoo parlor in santa ana, chris did my work. this guy is a good dude

i'm freakin terrified, and everyone here is confirming that i should be

but it's going to look so sweet, and everyone here is confirming that it will

the smell of a tattoo parlor is like nothing else. its always a pretty relaxed atmosphere but smells like a sterilized room

the clock thats on the wall that says "arch mate! it be tattoo time"

so here it is. 1 1/2 hours later, and with the worst pain i've ever felt in my life, i got my outline done

take a hike

2008-02-18T16:39:00.000-08:00

so after work yesterday, we decided to go for a little walk through the woods. after much hassle and senseless complications, tom, nick, santi, caleb and i piled into tom's truck and headed off to holy jim's trail in trabuco canyon. we heard a rumor that there was a stunning waterfall hidden in the wildlife

after tramping for about 45 minutes going back and forth over a semi small creek to try to find the end, we arrived

there was a small waterfall before, but the main one was a little bigger at a whopping approximate 16 feet high. kind of not worth it. but at the walk was fun to and from

not bitter towards couples, just no PDA around me today

2008-02-14T12:53:00.000-08:00

from all the tv i watch, it seems that parachutes get people stuck in trees alot

frustration - high rise office building, glass windows. guy just finishes cleaning all the windows for the month. the feeling the guy in the one highest office feels when the bird flew by and pooed all over his window

i was at pavilions with my buddy johnny at work getting sushi for breakfast, and we were waiting in line when one of the employees bounced out from behind an aisle and said "no one waits at pavilions!" and led us to a checkout. cant stand that guy

i'm still debating whether or not to hunt down a pair of those glow light up shoes in a size 10 1/2

i'm not a hypocrite, i just change my opinion alot. it's america, i do what i want

i don't want to taste a rainbow, i just want those skittles. now

i took my stitches out last night. with my teeth. blindfolded. while installing a ceiling fan and fighting terrorists

seriously though, took them out last night. not even a big deal. i was actually going to pay someone to do it. pfff. no biggy. no biggy smalls

new found glory appreciation of hall and oats. listen to bitch girl, go here myspace.com/proudest_monkey and you'll get an earfull of it

i made pancakes this morning. first pancake wasn't that good, second was great, 3rd 4th and 5th were great. gabe finished half of 5 and all of six. pancakes go great with a glass of milk and a fanta. orange of course. jeeze who do you think i am

trip down memory lane

2008-02-10T23:51:00.001-08:00

so i was reading old posts today, its weird that i still make myself laugh, and that it usually is the second try when i spell "weird" right

the cop in this crime show is named brown. he's black

i'm going to try to not get sick this week even though it feels like i walk into a sick ward every time i come home. i can fight this with my pal vitamin c and determination

i dont know if i ever publicly wrote this in the blog world, but i moved out of my mom's house last july and i've been living with a bunch of dudes in a town home in ladera. my daily diet has usually been chili, chips and soda. i eat fast food every day and just kinda hang out alot. life has pretty standard bachelor lifestyle. but times they are a changing

i'll explain later

fridays a good day for thinking

2008-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

i'm at work texting for my friend john on his phone because he's driving and can't multi task because driving and texting is "dangerous" and "a danger to the company" or whatever my boss says, so i was doin the work. i was trying to text some random word, i can't remember and this word pooped out of t9

Crasmux

i did not recognize this word, so i started coming up with possible definitions in my head

-the process of cheek expansion when a squirrel has many acorns in its mouth

-that section of moisture that nerdy kid always had between his nose and upper lip
-that type of candle that doesn't really smell that great, so it's always left on the shelf, so they always just end up having them for years
-a type of glue derived from whale fat
-commonly accidently said when attempting to say "christmas"

if i owned fish, i would always struggle with determining when is "to big" to flush it down the toilet when its dead

i hate koi fish because they always seem so peaceful and hang out by you when you cruise by to say hey, but the second your hand is about to pet them, they take off and freak out

i think i have a secret developing battle with all crows everywhere. they are just so cocky, the way they just stand there on the street and take off at the last second, or not even move at all because they are on the curb and know you wont hit the curb to hit a crow, even if you have an xterra

and yes, i am listening to the best of the beastie boys

hospital trip #2

2008-01-29T19:13:00.000-08:00

here's a text message conversation from today. you can probably tell which one is me

+hahahahaha oh man i have a story for you
-haha uh oh
+yea uh oh. you bet your booty uh oh
-haha crap
+lets just say this - blood everywhere
-...yours?!
+...yea
-Luke?! What did you do
+attics can be very dangerous
-Luke you stop bleeding this instant
+ hahahahaha i'm sorry i cant. i'm hoping the doctor will help with that. Btw- driving yourself to the ER is so wierd
-Luke! You should not be driving!
+ to late i'm here. ok i've got to go
-ok ok. Be ok! Be ok!

today, for the first time ever, i read a first aid guide and followed action steps

i'm still amazed by how much i laugh when i'm in an contact with anything medical in any way

as i was getting the stitches, i was giving the doctor advice on his various electrical issues

my knee is like a little football

i'll post pictures when i take this bandage off later tomorrow

yep definitely still single

2008-01-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

sometimes i have this strange suspicion that a potato is just cow poop and everyone is playing a giant prank on me

i could build a bunk bed if i wanted to, tom!

2008-01-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

so to recap my friday of fun.....

+i'm on my way to see a private john mayer concert, my parents are saving me a seat, i'm late, i need a namm badge to get in but i dont have one and its to late to remedy that, and i'm still stuck in traffic. and i havent even had any doritos today+

so now that your caught up, lets finish this trash

i finally get off the freeway by exiting harbor (which is the correct exit, this is a rare thing for me), and start heading towards the show. but oh hey, look at that, more freakin traffic. worse than the freeway. super craptastic.

example: i'm at a stop light, two cars are in front of me. they decide to turn left instead and dont make it, and with that ignorant action have simultaneously stopped all cars in that lane, specifically me, and i cant get around them, and cars are going by to fast for me to dart around. i got an opening right as the light turned yellow, and man did i give them one heck of a "yousuckyousuckyousuck" glare

my mom texted me = hey luke, just come to the show and we'll just see if you can get in without a badge

good news. i go to my perfect unusually close free parking spot and head over to the show. my mom tells me to meet her in the lobby (mayer is singing his little heart out in a small ballroom at a hotel. he does that i guess)

i get to the lobby, filled with people. tons of people. cant stand in one place without getting pushed around. ridiculous. i say to myself, out loud, "you should probably just call her luke, seriously good luck finding her. then you should find a bathroom....soon"

oh even better, no cell reception. at this point, i'm almost convinced that God doesn't want me to see a john mayer concert tonight. so i start seeing if there's anything else i could do since i'm there. i look around and see 2 trombone players soloing with a jazz band, and it sounded like two manatees trying to pass a kidney stone. on the verge of throwing the closest thing in reach, my little mom pokes her head around the corner

so here we go, up the escalator. a gruesome sight. literally maybe 2 hundred people in line to see our mayer buddy. my mom, with the utmost confidence, walks right past everyone. i hear some random comments

*what the heck?*
*what are they doing?*
*hey you have to wait in line!*
*i like that guys jacket, its so nice*

after adjusting my coat a little bit, we get to the front and my mom pretty much pulled some magic "mom strings" and got me in. she escorted me to my seat, and in a room of about 250 people, phil keaggy along with several other artists opened for my man john

then he came up, sat down, and sang to me, my parents, and a few other people in the room

it was fantastic

and all the horses and all the kings men, couldnt get me an extra namm badge

2008-01-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

yesterday my mom texted me at work while i was working at my job at work, and asked me if i wanted to go see this little guy named john mayer.

let me explain some things.

1! - every year there is a convention at the anaheim convention center called "namm"
http://www.thenammshow.com/

2! - my parents go every single year, and this year was no exception

3! - you cant just buy a badge, its kind of hard to get in

4! - they have private concerts every year for nammies that only allow nammies

5! - i have a badge every year

6! - its happening this week, thursday through sunday

with that understood, my mom was actually inviting me to a private concert that he was having for all nammies. so yea, i said yea to my mom on the phone i told her i would go

some more fun facts

1! - didn't have my badge yet, have to pick it up from will call, i'm still at work and its 445, will call closes at six, i still have to go home and change. ah! so i run home, or drive actually, and change and set my course for the namm show

2! - traffic blows. friday afternoon, 5 o'clock going north? i'm not some traffic predicting genius, how was i supposed to know. turns out most of the traffic was some teenage girl sitting in her not-running car in the middle lane without her hazards on. you should have seen that glare i gave her, oh man she was put in her place

3! - i still don't have insurance. thats goal number 2 for today. so i'm stop and go traffic, and some looser runs into me. i look in my mirror and he's just covering up his mouth shaking his head. it hit my car pretty bad, but i just didn't want to deal with this right now.

and apparently neither did he. he took off in the next lane making a run for it. now there is no way that someone is going to get away like that in my book, and i have an all terrain vehicle, so i set my sights and chased that little tard with all my driving skills. he was no match and i got him to pull over in minutes.

but it didn't take minutes, it took like, 30 minutes just to get over because of traffic. finally we're in a parking lot and i get out and this was my conversation with him

"hey whats the deal man"
"i'm so sorry! oh my gosh, i am so sorry! i just put on my brakes and slid into you!" (does slide motion with arm)
"ok, well lets see what you did" (i look at my tailhitch and look at his front bumper. nothing on my car, a bit scraped up on his)
"oh my car is a piece of s***, dont worry about my car. are we cool? are we cool?"
"well there's no damage on my car, you don't care about your car, and i need to leave. you drive like an idiot, your so damn lucky that it was me you ran into because anyone else would be ruining you right now. get out of here and stop being retarded when you drive"
"thank you so much man oh my gosh thank you"
"yea whatever just stop running into people"

and i left

4! - oh look at that its freakin 615 and i'm stuck in traffic and i'm not even close to namm

ahhhh!!!!

to be continued.....

later today.....

time to set some standards

2008-01-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

alright me and my friend dave, (please visit his blog soon, its a fantastic read) have decided to start investing some time and point out flaws in todays pizza buying culture

every time that pizza is involved in any situation where i am present, i will assess the situation and determine how successful the pizza selection is

so lets start off with what happened last night

got home from crave last night, and matt, tyler and kenzie had ordered pizza. lets see how they did

pizza brand: dominos
number ordered: 2
crust type: the original
parmesan cheese provided: yes
real pizza's (pizza with pepperoni): 0
others: 2
pepperoni percentage: 0%
other percentage: 100%
event grade: complete failure. f-

pizza without pepperoni = cheese pizza
pizza with sausage = pizza with pepperoni and sausage
pizza without pepperoni but with ham and lettuce = pizza with ham and lettuce
pizza without pepperoni but with ham, pineapple, sausage, bell peppers, jalapenos, onions, cucumbers and olives = immediate deportation out of america

if there was a slice of pepperoni pizza and a hundred cheese slices, you bet your booty that i'm eating only one slice of pizza

there is nothing foolish about carrying a cooler with emergency sticks of pepperoni to an event

alright here's what i want to know. whens the last time you ate pizza, where was it from and how many slices of pepperoni did you have

secret cleavage

2008-01-11T00:24:00.000-08:00

turns out i'm horrible at guessing the age of young children

i said this one kid was 5, turns out he just turned 1

thought this one girl was 8, she was 3

sorry for being the youngest in the family and never ever ever dealing with kids ever

sorry banana, i tried

2008-01-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

i dont like em. i dont hate them either

pros and cons of bananas

pro - easily the most fun you could have with a fruit
con - feels disgusting when your eating them
pro - bananas are funny
con - babies love bananas and love grossing everyone out by making a mess of it
pro - comes standard with sport grip
con - is it fuzzy? what is up with the texture of the edible part?
pro - essential ingredient in smoothies
con - essential ingredient in making me vomit
pro - throwing a banana at someone is always hilarious
con - the banana bits that were left over from our banana fight wont come off the kitchen cabinets

i feel like bananas are like the show happy days. i like the idea of it, but in all reality i really cant stand it. yea it was kind of funny, but honestly the show was totally lame, the only good points were;
a. the theme song
b. fonzie
c. weezers music video for buddy holly

no way someone would just ride around town jumping crap with their harley

maybe i'm being to harsh and i need to focus on the health aspects of a banana. if your thinking that, then i refer you to my article about a typical breakfast for me

jerk fonz always talking in third person, still in the top 3 best things about happy days

alright people, heres the deal
whats your least favorite fruit, and whats your least favorite nick-at-night show

just one thing

2008-01-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

i woke up and wrote this on my window. it faces the street and all the other houses

if i had a camel, i would name it cameleeah (prounounced - "camel-lee-ah")

top 26 favorite letters

2007-12-31T21:03:00.000-08:00

1. l
2. s
3. r
4. j
5. c
6. q
7. d
8. a
9. h
10. b
11. e
12. y
13. t
14. m
15. f
16. n
17. i
18. u
19. v
20. o
21. g
22. k
23. p
24. x
25. w
26. z

z sucks. you'll always be last z

just a little guy

2007-12-27T22:52:00.001-08:00

just saw the glory of christmas. here are some things everyone should know

1. keep an eye out for that one rebellious horse that always poops on the way up
2. there is an animal that follows the baby camel that isnt real. it looks like a llama, but its a baby with poodle-esk fluffy hair. i'm calling it a "lloople" until someone proves to me its a real creature
3. a joseph look-alike is the one that scoots around the stage picking up the animal droppings. give him a thumbs up if you can, he has a tough role and needs our support
4. 50% of the people in this world will be terrified of the angels that fly above your head. i am one of those people. so heres a clue, if people start looking up, immediately scroll through the pictures on your cell phone. when you hear the song end, its safe to start paying attention again
5. that one song after "mary did you know" is sung by; a boy or a girl? good freakin luck
6. someone always trips. make a game of trying to guess who it'll be
7. if your a man and haven't seen it, and are about to, be forewarned - there is a butt load of ballet. keep reminding yourself of your unchallenged manhood and heterosexuality
8. it isnt over when Jesus is born. that happens like 4 and 1/2 seconds in so don't get up to leave. that old lady manning the isles will rip your eyes out
9. the kings are followed by a bunch of people carrying the most random assortment of crap. don't waste your time trying to make sense of it
10. make sure to have your camera with you after the whole thing is done, because you can get your picture taken with the roman soldiers

hey secret santa, here you go

2007-12-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

this is my christmas list for my secret santa
if anyone thinks i want/need something else, you let me know

cd's
pedro the lion - control
pedro the lion - achilles heel
matchbox twenty - exile on mainstream
sigur ros - hvarf heim

ugraded memory card for that camera mom and bill might get me

3d doritos cooler ranch

any ideas anyone?

i'm just sayin, it evens out

2007-12-15T11:15:00.000-08:00

and this is what i had for breakfast this morning

so what have you had this morning

God, its me, janet

2007-12-12T21:53:00.000-08:00

sometimes when i walk into people's houses at work, i get to experience true 80's/early 90's photography at its best by simply looking on the walls. you know this era by the simple fact that hair takes up over 60% of the picture

we were working at this one house, and every time i walked into the room where the customer was, he would sigh. like a "i cant believe how much these guys are charging me and i'm so exhausted from working all day and i cant believe they're taking so much time i hope he notices this" sigh. i noticed this early and tested it constantly, and without fail it would happen. so one time i walked into the room realllll quiet and he didnt hear me coming, and i started working on something and he turned, saw me, and sighed. i'm on to your game sigh guy

church donut people, please dont judge me. these other two are friends. and i know i dropped that glaze, but havent you ever heard of the five second rule? and besides, like i said, its for a friend

ok fancy pants. your car changes color as you drive by because of some special paint. big deal. you picked the ugliest colors ever. purple and green? seriously? gross

you still suck at guitar no matter how good you are at a video game

2007-12-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

every time i walk through home depot i say to myself over and over "i could need that"

i love that my mom still says "holy smokes!"

my mom wanted to look at christmas lights so we all got in the car and started driving. my mom took us to TBN then straight home after

someone was bugging me one day, and i was going to say "hey your driving me crazy". but then i realized thats a little extreme so i said "you drive me frustrated"

when my car is covered in mud from off roading, i automatically assume everyone on the road is jealous. i even give people a look back that pretty much says "you should've been there"

some guys i take serious tell me your a serious guy

2007-11-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

at least once a week i mispronounce realty

today at lunch at work, we ran into the subway because the rain was pouring down so hard. we ate, and were walking to the van when johnny realized he locked the keys inside. we got in the back section with all the tools and attached a magnet to a long pole and barely snagged the keys. took 30 minutes but we got it. if anyone happened to be driving by the subway on avery and margarite, they would have seen two electricians screaming and jumping and fist pumping in joy. several high fives were given

drunk people are funny
drunk people at my house are funny
drunk people dancing at my house is funny
drunk people falling when dancing at my house is funny
drunk people holding my bed hostage when i want to go to bed at 1 am because i have work in the morning is not funny
but a little funny nonetheless

i walked to pavilions, found a deal on those big jugs of arizona iced tea. i grabbed 5 and was walking to the register with them all piled in my arms and saw every lane packed with people. i walked to the express lane and 3 people cut in front of me. i turned around and a lady let me go in front of her. i was in and out in 4 minutes. the way i figure it, if you look pathetic enough people will let you cut in line. i now live by that principle

never forget

2007-11-26T23:43:00.000-08:00

the following seemingly useless powers could have really come in handy today

1. the super power to create a mix cd that i'll still like tomorrow
2. the super power to see if a lighting fixture is crooked the first time i put it up
3. the super power to not procrastinate on the things my mom tells me to do. i know mom, i need insurance
4. the super power to not be terrified of the rat skull that poked out of the hole i cut in the drywall
5. the super power to know where my tape measurer is at all times
6. the super power to identify a piece of medal as harmless or a razor sharp tool of satan

just to let you know, electrical tape is the electricians spider man band-aid

i put the skull in the office. your welcome pete

express my inner retail skills

2007-11-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

lets just get down to brass tax here. i worked at express on friday for the first time. no training, no past retail experience. i didn't/dont even know how to properly fold those shirts. but they needed help on black friday and my room mate chase andre asked if i could come in and work. so i did. here's some scoops from the day

hi can i help you find something?
yes, do you know if you carry the wrinkle free MX1 button ups?
uhh..ooo....jeez....sssss (that hiss noise you make when you breath in) ....ummmm...yea...i...dont think so
.....you dont know. well can i talk to someone who does know?
yea sure-chase!- yea, i'll get someone over-chase!getoverherepleasechase- yea ill find someone

well what size would you wear?
well, personally i would probably wear the medium, but is the man your buying this for on the smaller side, or is he built pretty well?
well he is skinny but is muscular hahaha!
right. ok maam, then i would go with the medium
can you, can you hold this up to yourself?
yea sure, here
yea i like that. you look good in that
wait what
i like this, it brings out your eyes. hmmmm it looks good
wait what
yea i'll take that

hey luke, you can go on your 15
ok great
+stand around in the back room for 5 minutes+
luke, are you already done with your break?
yea. i was bored. i'll just keep working
when are you off?
no idea
when did you come in
8
when do you want to be off
dont care
your hired

i dont know if i'll ever work there again, but we'll see
but if anyone wants 30% off their express purchase, let me know. i'll hook you up. employee discount :)

merry thanksgiving

2007-11-22T17:11:00.000-08:00

hey everyone
its november 22nd and you know what that means

means your mom is telling you to put up your christmas list

so i started thinking about what i want for christmas and my first thoughts were:
1. power tools
2. home depot gift card
3. groceries
4. independence day
5. soap

but lets think about this, thats what i need. what do i really want?
1. 8X10 bass cab
2. million dollars
3. high paying easy job
4. another copy of jurassic park and independence day
5. soaps

my young christmas lists looked alot like this
1. remote controlled truck or something really cool like that
2. tons of lame video games
3. doritos
4. skateboard stuff!
5. jurassic park on vhs

as a kid i would always shop around and find my mom the best prices, and where to shop because i thought that would help her save money or something like that. i would have my own budget and everything. but now that i think about it, i would pick like 12 things from 12 different stores that definately were not close to each other. my mom would probably see my list and think "jeez luke, your so freakin picky and you didnt even calculate tax stupid"

i'm always awkward when opening gifts because i dont express (i work at express come friday) joy very well, outwardly. i have to convince people that i liked their gift by reminding them for weeks that i use it everyday. i didnt know receiving a gift is so demanding

now back to eating left overs, merry thanksgiving everyone!

i'm inventing new ways to be retarded

2007-11-19T20:08:00.001-08:00

alternater is out on the xterra. suck it nissan

i'm sick for various reasons, but probably one focused reason.

i took a shower in thirty seconds this morning, then ran down the stairs, grabbed my tools and jumped in my friend nikki's car (on account of stupid xterraz, she volunteered to bring me to work). the second i sat down in the car, i realized how obnoxiously sick i was/am. riding in the workvan, on the way to our first job, i puked in the trashcan we keep between the seats.
got to the house, could barely stand. the guy i was working with said i should go home. but i was in tustin

i have one hell of a room mate and friend
tom came all the way out to tustin and picked me up without asking for anything
got home and slept till 4pm
woke up and ate the following things in this order
1. ruffles ranch chips
2. french bread pizza
3. more chips
4. mountain dew
5. water
6. orange
7. apple
as you can tell i started becoming intelligent near the end

now i'm watching discovery channel and science channel because its the best way to make myself feel like i'm still being productive as i sit on the computer thinking about how much stuff i can't do

i'm going a little insane

catch this, tom hanks

2007-11-14T15:51:00.001-08:00

there are only a few feelings stronger in my life then my love for vanilla coke

i was at work the other day and watched a pool cleaner for a good 10 minutes. if the guys knew i was doing this, they'd probably get a little pissed. but i was fascinated by how relaxing it seemed to just brush the bottom of a pool with an abnormaly long brush

i dont care what that commercial says, visa is not faster then cash

crows are the road runners of orange county

there are two types of bassist - the ones that play and the ones biased against people who play bass

my porch is disgusting. its messy, dirty, wrappers and bottles everywhere, a wheelchair just hangin out along with my mountain bike and two speakers that are pretty big and blocking the doorway. we are officially the white trash of ladera ranch and it feels great

dear zack from allison and luke

2007-11-12T00:33:00.000-08:00

dear zack

i offically named our band in my head. its zack attack. you're welcome

i love you because we share a love for matchbox twenty

your sense of humor challenges my sarcasm to a whole new level or douchebagness

your subtle hatred of allison is always hilarious but contagiously awkard

i'm sorry for telling dominick that you stole his book

i'm not sorry at all, since you did, in fact, steal it

but i do think you are nice

and you smell nice

and i think that you are funny

i love that you are such an easy get when it comes to your musical tastes

i'm really excited for the day that the Lord unveils your love for Africa...

thanks for letting us be a part of the band...we've really enjoyed it

and i didn't even notice that you didn't have your capo in the right place

but i did notice that the harmonies didn't sound quite right

you know what else is not quite right?: the lord of the rings soundtrack

i did notice the improper capo placement and good thing i had a music conscience german by my side

whoever said germans didnt have good balance obviously havent seen dominick play monkey ball

making snyde comments about kids that cant play baseball out loud with you wasn't life changing, but definately something i'll remember in two weeks

lets start a train/matchbox twenty/sum 41 cover band

word association fees

2007-11-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

Allison:
jackhammer - peter gabriel
bees wax - not yours, inc.
goosebumps - rl stine
abercrombie - LFO
camp cucomonga - phobia
sherman - oaks
hepatitus - wal mart
osirus - billy ray

Luke:
butcher - i married an axe murderer
stripes - zebra gum
frozen - yogurt
sport grip - waterbottle/David Hughes
dollywood - beverly hillbillies
emilio estevez - mighty ducks
red bush - tasty
night fever - mark reinhardt

Zack:
berries - twig
mitsubishi - galant
gold - bond
wonderful - i hate allison
seven - severed head
archery - gay
trident - gum
clap - spotted dick

Petty:
thunder - suns of
maroon - five
australia - howie day
forefathers - abe lincoln
tap-dancing - gay
facial hair - testoterone
second base - chair
shocker - wichita state
purple indian - innocent

David M. Hughes:
knickers - grandma
flag - stephen colbert
color guard - yuck
scooby doo - eh
blink-182 - effing awesome
onomonopoeia - bzzz
retriever - perfection
ghost - the movie signs

Dominik:
America - fifty one states
Hasselhoff - best friends "bff"
spandex - work-out
black people - (thinking, thinking...) (still thinking...) Africa
dragon - ball z
pizza - tony
game cube - beating eveybody
velvet elvis - in luke's pocket

co-written by allison hibbard

2007-11-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

its true, but i have to take a break from activities and say some things

girls - dont play ductball if you arent going to commit. sitting around first base playing a harmonica? really?

guys with girlfriends - dont play ductball if you arent going to commit. sitting around your girl while she plays horrible horrible horrible harmonica? really? i'm sure there's some commitee that i can talk to to get your status changed from male to vagina

when german people freak out, its nothing less then absolutely hilarious

i have an eagle on my sleeptime shirt to ward off all the terrorist ghosts. no osama bin ghost laden in my house, i tell you what

This part is written by Allison Hibbard...since a co-authored blog was promised.
I really wish that I were as capable of "stream of consciousness" blogging as Luke is.
I just typed "clogging" when I was trying to write "blogging"...which I also wish I were capable of clogging...because, honestly, how sweet would that be? If I could clog really nicely, that would be a skill that I would put on my resume.
I'd also like to be a logger. Well, that's not true...I would really hate to be a logger, because then I would have to live in the woods and probably cook with a wood-burning fire...though I would be really strong, but I would have very few places to dress up and show off my phenomenally cut arms.
Nothing else ryhmes with blogger, so I guess my work here is done.

now back to luke
i took 1000 m-grams of vitamin C, plus 3 halls defense tablets with 100% daily vitamin C content in every little delicious treat, and a thing of airborne that has 1000 m-grams of vitamin C yesterday. my future. if you dont want to read that i'll sum it up - i can get the one thing that i fear above all other ailments in the world. there is nothing i'm scared more of (thats right, cancer - nope. aids? - nope. blindness? not a disease but nope)

kidney stones

and also if i'm pregnant, i'm a few thousand short of causing my unborn fetus to have rebound scurvy which pretty much means that when they stop getting that much vitamin C, they get scurvy

but who cares. kidney stones??

suck it oranges. i'm on to you

an announcemente

2007-11-09T23:33:00.000-08:00

this weekend, for the first time ever, i will be co-writing a blog with allison hibbard

i dont know what we're going to write about
i dont know if it'll be good
i dont know why my elbows wont touch behind my back
i dont know why straws are so gross to me

but get ready
people get ready...

this had to wait, but its here

2007-11-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

heres the key so you can understand the following story=
trim - the piece of a can light that you can see, that makes it look nice
ugo face - means the lady gave one of those obviously disgusted "are you serious?" faces
sigh - outword expression of frustration given by me
yelling - not actual outward yelling, just me screaming at the top of my mind-voice
laugh? - that loud awkward laugh that you can never really understand whats the reason for it, done by lady

so we're all at this job (i'm at work, and "we" is everyone i work with and job is something you do for money) and basically the lady there is being ridiculous. changing her mind all the time and not making sense. here are a few excerpts from the day

i'm on a ladder about to cut a hole for one canlight that we talked with the lady for 45 minutes about where it should be. this is the second one a little down the hall from a dresser that we put another can light over. she went with our suggestion finally
"so do you think this is enough light for my dresser?"
"well, yes maam. you have a can light directly over the dresser. it doesnt get much better then that"
ugo face
"well is that light your putting up going to help get more light over here?"
"well, a little bit, its a little to far to do to much though. but it's not really an issue because you still have the light directly over the dresser"
laugh?
"well why do i want a light there anyway? its practically in the hall"
"well...you said you wanted one here"
"ok, if you think this is enough light then i trust you. your the professionals"
"ok great, i'll get this going then"
---2 minutes later, right after i cut the hole---
"you know what, i change my mind. i want it closer to the dresser, i dont think there will be enough light"
yelling
"ok"

next one
i'm on a ladder again, i know i hang out on ladders to much, just finished putting a trim in on the final can. we're cleaning up, and this is the last thing pretty much. i'm just wiping the fingerprints off of it. she walks in
"oh are you done?"
"yes actually, this is what it will look like"
ugo face
"really? your-your done? thats what it's going to look like?"
"...yea. this is the trim we showed you"
+flashback in my head to the hour spent trying to figure out what she wanted, and how happy she was about this one specific trim+
"but your done? like, theres nothing else your putting over that?"
"....no. this is it"
ugo face
"well i dont like that at all!"
laugh?
sigh
"but this is what you said you wanted"
laugh?
"i dont like the look of that at all! are you sure?"
yelling
"yes. i'm sure. we're all sure. positive actually"
ugo face
"well i dont know about that"
yelling

it was a fun day

allison tagged me

2007-10-31T17:54:00.000-07:00

3 word answers only
i tag ange

1. Where is your cell phone? by my unmentionables
2. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend or Husband/Wife? dont know yet
3. Where is one of your parents? rocking lake forest
4. Cheesecake? if its free
5. Your favorite thing to do? rocking the bass
6. Your dream last night? a good one
7. Your favorite drink? duh mountain dew
8. The room you're in? outside on patio
9. George Bush? hes the president
10. What you're good at? wrecking my car
11. One of your wish list items? a standing ovation
12. Where did you grow up? down the street
13. The last thing you did? washed my bod
14. What are you wearing? typical luke fashion
15. What kind of car do you see yourself as? silver volvo wagon
16. Ketchup? in small portions
17. Your computer? on my lap
18. Your life? work in progress
19. Your mood? generally pretty mellow
20. Your next blog? wont be funny
21. Your car is? i like it
22. Your summer? was actually awesome
23. Your relationship status? work in progress
24. Your favorite color(s)? orange i guess
25. When is the last time you laughed? 5 min ago

why am i not in bed yet

2007-10-31T00:20:00.000-07:00

because i said so

i went and saw "in the wild" tonight. i got home just now. decided to just say some things before i go to bed

i'm hungry. so hungry. and that movie made me really hungry. but i have work in the morning, and i like sleep just barely more than eating

my room mate is upstairs snoring his little brains out. yea i'm scared to go up

one time at about 2 in the morning i woke up to this sound. realized it was somewhere between a growl, a snore, and someone saying my name real slow. 2am, i dont remember that snoring exists, so i freak out. trying to figure out where someone is hiding in my room, and why they insist on saying my name over and over in that crazy deep voice. dont want to leave the safety of bed, but going insane with curiosity. i look over in the dark, and bud is sitting up looking around. he must of heard it too! bud!, i wisper, bud! what is that? no answer. i get up, kindof, more like crawled, and went over to bud. yea he's snoring. oh yea, its all making sense now. he snores. and thats not his head, its his shoulder and my imagination. pissed

tom snores too
and so does chase (roomate number 3)
our house is kindof loud at night

ladera likes to leave street lamps on at night. a soft amber nightlight that peaks through the shades. if i was a poet, this could be something good. tell you what, i'll haiku this. i can haiku like the best of em

me try to sleep now
streetlamps on in the night gabe
snoring is lame lame

well i'm back

2007-10-29T16:37:00.001-07:00

i'm back
yes my writings have been on what could be called a "hiatis" if i could spell it right
its not a disease
it happens when stuff happens that doesnt give you time to write
heres reasons for my hiatis

girl trouble
roomate trouble
double bubble
new car trouble
money trouble
fire trouble
new computer
more girl trouble
creativity trouble
forgetfulness
halo 3
comin down with the sickness

i apologizize to all of you and promise i will start this little addiction again
for now, here are some thoughts from today

saw 3 cops on the way home
saw 3 havent seen it yet, is it good?
saw 3 soon to be empty cans of mountain dew in the beer fridge

our beer fridge has had one beer in it since we got it, but always fully stocked with the freshest mountain dews money can buy

i'm sick of waiting for new lost

couragecall.com <----my buddy matt, go check it out. its a tasty little dish of new music

friend is a 4 letter word

bought that eminem cd, you know the one. "the eminem show". had it a long time ago. bought another one. apparantly i know every word for the first 4 songs. who knew

precision423 <-----screen name ooohhhh yeeeaaaa

later

i hope maple syrup coats your lungs

2007-08-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

dear lady who called me boy in your mexican accent,

i am not a boy. i am a man. i am an electrician. i have a toolbelt.

just because you didnt know my name as i worked under the giant tv that you wouldnt let us move, you dont have to assume i am a young boy.

and yea, i had no idea what you meant when you said "tv ok?" remember when i asked you "what?" and "what do you mean?" and you just kept asking "tv ok?" and i was already working under the tv you wouldnt let us move. to be polite i simply said that it was ok, assuming you were asking if i wanted to move the tv.

but no. you just wanted to watch tv. and blast it. as it was inches over my head. it doesnt help to watch some annoying kids program as the tv is inches from my head and i have to concentrate on not getting electricuted

and besides, i know you speak somewhat good english and that you understand what i'm saying because i heard you talk to those other dudes that were working at the house. in fact, i heard you flirting with those same dudes. what the heck mexican lady. what the heck

seriously what the heck

dear lady, you suck. your rude, hope i never have to work for you ever again

he has jokes

2007-08-14T22:31:00.000-07:00

what do you call a kids television program where the host solves crimes but is hindered by his alcohol abuse?

booze clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is a breast implant surgeon but to complete each surgery he has to solve crimes?

boobs clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host drinks mountain dew all the time but to get his next fix he needs to solve crimes?

dews clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is actually a band that solves crimes before they play every show?

muse clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is a homosexual crime solver?

gay clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is always misplacing clues to all the mysteries they need to solve?

loose clues

i dont reveal much about myself in my posts

2007-08-13T19:48:00.001-07:00

and thats not going to change anytime soon

to all you avid readers out there
and all those rappin mystery st. clair's
annd all the papers with all the letters
and the tapers of the cod of capers
listen to me as i lay it down once
caught in the heat that i cant make nice
when is the time, the right time the wrong time
shoot it in the air with a troll on a knoll
a grassy knoll of cotton candy and elephant hair

wistle me a tune as i ride down this caramel covered mountain
wistle me a tune topped with fudge and anecdotes
i'm leavin tonight with toby and cameran
so get the knees in the air this will be flav - a - full

rocky and bullwinkle fall from the sky
but this candy rock still forms in my heart
so what can the weatherman/woman tell me that i dont already know
life is good till i ignore it

peace to the middleman

pick an apple, put it in your pocket

2007-07-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

i could never win the tour de france because i'm to scared to put my hands above my head while riding my bike

usually the sound of crickets calms me to sleep. but last night the sound of 25 crickets fighting for life against a skunk gecko kept me from sleeping well

i'm unusually stoked about recieving my super nintendo in the mail. i bought this game called uniracers, where you race unicycles. yea, i know how to party

i stared a dog down at this one house i went to the other day. we were both frustrated at each other and couldnt express ourselves through normal communication. no other option but to lock eyes and never flinch

life kinda sucks sometimes, but life also rules alot of the time. we just dont pay attention all that much

i eat healthier now, but that doesnt help how much i lose my breath when going up stairs. more apples maybe

i thought for almost 2 years that i came up with the band name "duran duran"

i have a show this saturday, anyone want to go? eh eh?

i'm the king of balancing on a wheel chair. please challenge me. asky randy crafty

and to think i'm an electrician

2007-07-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

i sometimes think what captions would look like from the radio. i think they would look like this
:alright well that was a our friends jovi coming up next with their big hit is the foo fighters from their last hit single the fray coming up next stopping by will be big poppa thats right our friend big jo jo thompson mik shavin gerder:

when can we start making fun of people who love transformers

sometimes i think janis joplin is some kind of sports athlete hero like tiger woods or brian boytano

i did some lighting work for a guy that did this the whole time

all i wanted to do was try it

there's always that little kid that thinks he can break dance, and somehow people believe it for a little bit. then they realize doing the "worm" over and over isnt dancing

why do sax players in wedding bands always make their solos so ridiculous. hey saxist, you dont have to play that loud, and on that note, dont hit that one note. it doesnt sound good. move on. stop playing it. its annoying. no one wants to hear it. please

girls regret those nasty arm tattoos that they got when they were drunk or dating that one tatoo guy when someone they know gets engaged. that lion and cub in the sunset isnt coming off your arm girl, and there's a very slim chance you can cover up that tribal arm band with make up

toasts at second marriage receptions are just very awkward to me

rappers are always in the club

the extreme camera guy taking extreme pictures from extreme close angles of the crappy break dancing kid

same kid always gives away his "best moves" on the first song

when the hell did people start playing coldplay songs for reception dance parties

i never really know when my own butt crack starts

dreaming when i was napping

2007-06-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

just wanted to explain this dream i just had really quick

so me and my family went to a gas station market that served ice cream when we were on vacation in the middle of the desert

i saw the ice cream part when i came in, and it was the a magnificant thing. i wanted ice cream so bad, but i had to go get some other things first

1. drill bits
2. an energy drink
3. shoes

then my family left but ange had gotten me some. it was a custom blend

i took a bite, and i swear this was the combination of taste

chocalate chip cookie dough (CCCD)
blue gushers

i was pissed, but satisfied. that just goes to show

1. dont trust sisters with ice cream
2. dont be distracted by more necessary purchases when ice cream is in the bicture
3. always have ice cream in the house in case you wake up from a dream with a creaving (dangn't)

sunkist during a wedding

2007-06-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

this is my opinion, but i think i'm right so i'm going to go for it

1. children should not be brought to weddings
a. no reason for them to be there (they arent going to remember)
b. they always make noise (farts/burps/cries/laughs/giggles/yells/holla's)
c. they are always moving because they are never comfortable because they are always annoying

2. poems during weddings are NEVER GOOD NO MATTER WHO WROTE THEM
a. seriously, never meaningful because reading a poem is gay
b. listening to a poem sucks
c. poems are totally cheese

3. if you have your wedding outdoors, dont do it on 95 degree weather day
a. everyone hates sweating, so during your wedding everyone is just thinking "its so hot, this sucks" instead of "wow this is pretty emotional"
b. the sun is always somehow in everyones eyes
c. no one likes the sweaty pits

these things had to be said. but also these things

1. my mom was crying before she even got out of the car to walk up to the wedding
2. there were goats within a stones throw of my seat
3. i danced alot at the reception. this is a big deal.

making lists mean your right

lets just experiment on the vegans

2007-06-16T23:04:00.000-07:00

my new driving game: if i see someone driving and texting at the same time, i will pull out a fog horn (because my current horn was lost in off roading incident #27), honk and weave at them. i predict i can get at least one cell phone tossed out the window by the 3rd attempt

milk crates seem to always come in handy

there was a dog at this one house i worked at that had a growth hanging from his side about the size of a pickle. i named him "tumey"

i have a book on my nightstand by michael chrichton named "prey". i find its the best way to remind me to talk with God more

painting my room wasnt nearly as fun as everyone said it'd be

moving mattresses is always funny to me

of all the times i moved, the only ones i remember were the ones where it was raining. that just makes me think el nino struck every time my family wanted to relocate

fish flies and banana cream pies make los lonely boys sing and cry

strobing piranhas tackle bears maliciously in winter

blanket basket beaving understands negative corrosive responses

nokia shoots blanks in the dark

killer john travolta questionaire

2007-06-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

i dont know why i forgot about this until a few days ago, but i decided to talk about it for a bit.

when i was in the ER for my lip (that guy that jumped me in the shower with a cleaver. reference article picture "local man fends off knife attack with teeth"), i was shown something that i totally thought was a joke and wasnt real

i bring you......the pain chart

oh yea. this is legitamate. the nurse asked me how much it hurt, and when i said "kind of alot, but not really", she felt it an appropriate time to wip out the chart

she gave it to me and i made alot of comments (but she couldnt understand because my lip was the size for a delicious strawberry)

alot of my comments were sarcastic, but the train of thought went like this

whats this

are you serious. well i dont feel better than those 3 for sure, so i'm probably that guy

but my pain isnt that bad. so i'm going to have to say my pain level number is about here

so...what. is this what i look like

i'm a somewhat frown face, maybe a little smug, with a 3 - 3.1 rating of pain

but my eyebrows are way bigger than that

here's your chart back. i didnt know a 5 year old could draw all 10 levels of pain. was this made the year before he learned how to color?

after that, she sent me back into the lobby to wait. i guess my frown wasnt that bad. but if you know me, you know i can make a pretty crazy frown. it would probably be this on the chart

you walk into the ER with that face, good luck on NOT getting immediate medical attention

in reference to my last post

2007-05-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

i let the jeep sit for a day

went outside and it started right up like nothing ever happened

my jeep heals

like i said it would

hold on to your butts...

2007-05-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

ok

went off roading up saddleback mountain with
Tom and tom's new truck named taco
zam?
gabe and camera
andy and camera
Mark and marks truck and marks girlfriend (her names meagan(the GF))
Jeep and shelby and quad (yet to be named, any ideas?)

we found a little challenge (little but not that little) so i went up it

its hard to tell, but i made it

then i decided to go down it to see how crazy it would be. 1-10 scale of insanity, what do you think?

and i made it down

so we're comin down the mountain, i think mark missed this part because he had to go a little early, but i go up a side trail that led away from the regular trail. i realize suddenly that i dont want to be over here.

so i charge through the trees/bushes/rocks/wildlife to get back to the regular trail

everythings going fine until sam starts screaming. next second, jeep's front right tire falls in a 3 foot by 2 foot ravine, and my front bumber slams into the dirt side of the slope

and i'm stuck with a smashed front end

some dudes stop and help us out by jacking up the front middle of the car, i dig out the wheel, and 5 guys jumped on the back rocking it up and down till my wheel got up and out of the ditch from hell and i got back on the road

minor casuality - my front bumper was wrecked so i decided to custom fabricate my 4bi into a mean looking SOB

what do you think. better or worse?

all together a pretty extreme sunday afternoon

but my car isnt really running right now, so i have to go get it over to the mechanic.

dont worry, jeep will be fine. it's probably already fixed itself by the time i'm done posting this blog

snooze it or lose it

2007-05-16T18:13:00.000-07:00

i use to sleep alot. now i dont. this has directly effected how unbelievably comfortable my bed is in the morning

i turn on the light to my room, turn off Amber the Gecko's light, take out the keys, wallet, cell phone, and whatever else that has found its way into my pockets, turn on the tv which already has jurassic park or Independence Day on a 24/7 loop, plug in the phone charger, turn on the fan, turn off my room light, 30 minute sleep mode on the tv, and go to sleep

i'm surprised that i've never had a dream about saving the world, fighting dinosaurs, or flying planes next to the president and will smith

i've woken up in the night trying to find my ringing phone. i find it on my bed and start talking, only to realize no one called, the phone never rang and i'm not even holding anything

i once thought a giant fat hamster was sitting in the chair in my room

i once thought there were cowboys digging for gold in the night in the atrium at my house, and one of them was holding a cup of coffee

i once thought a giant spider was eating my dresser (i know allison, spiders are scary)

i once thought a giant iguana was on my chest staring me in the eyes. but then i totally realized that was actually real (R.I.P. iggy)

animal names that i regret, here they are:
browny
iggy
stripey
mother
turtle
crazy legs
noodle
einstein
normal

its about time i wrote about this

2007-05-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

this is not normally (normandy, no brandy?) my writing style, but i felt this story needs to be told in written format (floor mat, from matt?)

here it goes

a while ago when i worked at the hotel, (i worked at a hotel, ask me about sweet hotels) i met this girl named miranda in the cafeteria. a cute girl, seemed pretty cool, i got her number to hang out sometime. (which btw is a huge deal for me because i can never do that)

so she quits the hotel the next day and i call her and we're like "yea lets hang out"

she lives in san clemente is where she lives

i go pick her up at like, 9, and had nothing planned. (i didnt see it as a date, and i never really like to plan things). she said she wanted to go see this one movie. i thought it was a good idea, why not you know (y not u no, y not uno?)

but we decided to walk along the pier first. we walk and talk, and walk back and she points out where she works now. its a bed and breakfast that her uncle owns. its right there on the pier pretty much

next thing i know, people are yelling. two of her aunts and uncles were up on the roof getting slammed/wasted/drunk/sloshed/trashed/demolished. lots of alchohol

2 hours later i find myself sitting at the tables with the family realizing i had been there for the most unbearably awkward 2 hours of my life.

examples of what was said by the aunts to make it awkward -
"yea we're having sex in a while"
"your boobs are hot"
"that hot tub has done wonders to our sex life"
"i can totally see yor *bleeep* "
"dont get wiskey *beeeep* before we get to bed"

yeaaaa....holy crap so awkward. but it gets better. i decided to just sum up the following conversation by just writing what was said. you'll catch on who was who

"so luke. what the hell were you thinking taking my niece to the movies on a first date"
"uhhhh, well she wanted to go see that one movie"
"you cant talk in a movie, you probably just wanted to hook up. its a first date moron"
"well, it's not really a-"
"men are such idiots. all they want is action on the first date"
"well, no. i mean, this wasnt-"
"what do you do anyway"
"i work at the hotel"
"for how long"
"like, 2 years now"
"do you think that jobs going anywhere"
"well, its just a temp job really"
"my husband buys houses all the time. we have alot of money in this family"
"...cool"
"you think you can actually provide for my niece with some dead end job?"
"what, wait hold on"
"if you touch my niece tonight i will rip your balls off"

and it went on like that for 2 more hours

talked to miranda once after that. lets just say it didnt work out

so i was at bj's with my family sunday night and she was sitting at the table across from us facing me

if you know me, you know i love awkward. but come on

catalina shmatalina

2007-05-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

pizza's in the oven cooking. but i've got to wait. i'm waiting for something thats already here

i got a haircut yesterday that i really dont like. its ok, not horrible, but not at all what i wanted. its like i went to get a crazy pirate ship tattoo, and the dude drew a monkey. i can live with it, but come on

if html was on a license plate, i would think
1. hotmail
2. hot male
3. hate mail
4. hate males

fires are pretty sweet to look at, but thats the end of the line for enjoying fires. if they effect your life in any way, they suck

i'm an electricians assistant now during the week. its pretty cool. my mom is glad that i got the job, but wont let me get a motorcycle. says its to dangerous because of other people on the road. which it is. but around 600 people die a year from electrocution accidents on the job, with 3,600 disabling injuries and 4000 normal injuries. 2,284 people died in 98 from motorcycle accidents, half of them were drunk, another portion was speeding, and half of the deaths were simply because someone wasnt wearing a helmet

i dont know how to not get electrocuted, but i do know how to -
1. not be drunk
2. wear a helmet
3. not speed

now all i need to do is win an argument with my mom

i met someone from the band bad religion. i wasnt stoked about this really, kind of like "this guy is famous i guess". but i was way more stoked to just talk about lost with him for an hour. that just made me stoked about lost, not bad religion

i also met the tour manager for korn. he was swedish i think. small mouth, and couldnt understand anything he said. cool tattoos though. i can understand that

oh yea, and korn was practicing in the next room. they had an emergency delivery of energy drinks. dudes came running in and everything. i could imagine the order
"korn is low on energy, and are kinda thirsty. what do you have to offer"
and the dude recieving the call had the perfect solution
and was so stoked about it

A little about my family

2007-05-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

i noticed yesterday that my family doesnt know one basic fundamental asset of having a conversation

*if you are not in the same room when conversing, raise your voice*

it seems that at least once a day, someone tries to spark conversation, but walks right on out of the room without changing the volume of their voice

or i will hear a "luke..asdhf....mumble mumble mumble" from down the hall when i'm in the garage, or in my room. somewhat frustrating

i'll be in the kitchen, my mom walks by in the hall - "hey luke, can you make sure to do this and ....." thats where she has entered her bedroom and closed the door. and still continues to speak as if i'm right there

i'm in my room watching a movie, katelin (one of my sisters) walks by "mumble mumble Luke mumble asdhnk". why did i not understand? because she had already gone in the garage and started talking to me

trivial, yes, but i feel like my household should have captions at all time. just how i like to watch my movies.

The Goodwill strikes again (i also learned how to do links)

2007-05-02T02:33:00.001-07:00

Well today me, Jared Slaybaugh, and Brad Owens went to the Goodwill to pick up an ironing board. see image

we started looking at movies and i came across a tasty treat

in this goldie, i have found great morals and a host of cameos

if you ever watch lost, then you might recognize the dude that drives the limo in the beggining of the movie

you should check it out

to work or not to work at starbucks

2007-05-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

seriously

should i try and get a job at starbucks

extra cash, and something to do during the week when school is done

a bunch of my friends work there already

if not there, then any other suggestions?

also, should i get a vespa

decisions decisions decisions

its time to write, because its time to sleep

2007-04-30T02:22:00.000-07:00

well, i'm just going to speak my mind as always, so here it goes

on the night i turned 21, i drove home at 1am eating chips and salsa, and drinking a diet coke while listening, wait actually, blasting DMB, from Biola College. I'll never forget seeing the open freeway and thinking "This kicks ass"

small fear of mine --- waking up to discover ivy had grown over my legs and chest

my friend dave can do handstands in the spa. sure its totally rightous, but spas are for relaxing, not aerobics

i misspell things alot, but i'm also really stubborn. the two never really conflict with each other. the two never really battle each other. my illiteracy never wars against my stubbornality

i used to clean carpets. one time i was cleaning a spot with a powerful acid on a rag, then shoved the rag in my pocket. it soaked through my jeans and chemicaly burned my thigh. i came to the conclusion that i needed to blame the chemical for being stupid and sneaky

i'll be going to sleep soon, but not before watching at least 30 minutes of ID4. (independence day)

sometimes i find that the solution to problems in my life are usually solved by the people that are already in my life, and i'm just kind of lame for not realizing it sooner. its always the best to trust God, but sometimes you need to put faith in your friends to keep the trust in God. a conversation goes miles, but dishonesty ends up nowhere

my jeep is covered in mud. its been a week. i catch people staring at me and shaking their heads. i love spiting people (spiting - to spite). so i might just go another week as long as tom, andy, taylor, gabe and ryan hodge stop drawing swasticas, racial slurs, male genitalia, and cus words on all my windows in the dirt

jim jam jamin jupiters i'm off to bed