so i have multiple stories. this will be a somewhat long blog, i'm sorry i guess. but i don't think i should really apologize. manners don't make sense sometimes
i'm working for this company called atema partners right now, and what we're doing is alot of hanging out, but partially doing av stuff for a huge conference at the venetian hotel in vegas. i can't give you the name of the company that's holding the conference, so lets call them "that doctor company"
lets cut to the chase. lets fox news this. every year they have a private concert for their company, and they don't cheap out on the bands. 3 years ago - counting crows. 2 years ago - faith hill. last year - matchbox 20 (i know, 1 year to late)
so this year they had 2, and they invited our company to come to it. they keep the band secret just for the fun of it. so we spread rumors about what band it was. so much fun
thursday night they had the show
first act. a comedian. not stoked. its that frank guy from frank tv. i didn't really care that much for him so i left and did some work.
second act
maroon 5
no joke, freakin full band maroon 5 playing this private event
i don't realize how much i like certain big bands until i suddenly am watching them for free at a private event
after the show, i hang with our company dudes, then get to bed around 2am. i get in bed, turn on the tv and see judge dredd on so i put that on. i'm going to switch styles of telling this next story so i can explain it correctly
sleeping
fire alarm. it's loud. and annoying
geez that's loud, should i get up. nawwwww
alarm continues
yea i should get up. i'll call tom, see if it's going off on his floor to
pick up phone, look around and realize
he wont be able to hear me in here, i should go out in the hall
step out in the hall
door slams behind me
i look around and it just slowly dawns on me that i'm only in my boxers, and all i have is my phone, and the door is locked
well that was dumb
second time i look around is to see if anyone was in the hall, i look at my phone to see what time it is. lots of looking
230am
ok, i'll call tom and maybe he has an extra key to my room
i know he doesn't but my mind is still resting on my pillow
beep hey tom beeeeep
what
is the beeeeep fire alarm going off in your beeeeeep in your room? beeeeep
no. it's not. why are you calling me
beeeeeeppppp i'm locked outside my room beeeeeepppp in my boxers
hahahahaha
*click*
shoot. well i need to find a phone and call the front desk
fire alarm continues
lady comes up to me
hi! whats going on?
i'm locked out of my room
i look at her and see her empty hands and no open door in sight
did you bring your room key
shocked look on lady's face
5 minutes later we're sitting on the floor waiting for the operator to not be busy and talk to us
2 minutes later, me and lin (her name was lin, and she had 5 cocktails and was not sober) are standing in front of our own doors waiting for security
vegas sucks
security walks up, opens up my door
sir, i need to see your id to make sure this is your room
oh yea bro, for sure bro, let me get it bro, hold on
confused by my own choice in method of conversation
security walks in to wait
door slams
knock on the door
we exchange looks of confusion
security opens the door
old lady standing there
whats going on?
oh, don't worry maam, its - -
hey, why are you in his room?
she points to security, and to me as she says this
realization that i'm still in my boxers
security reads the awkwardness. not quickly, but the turtle still finished the race
oh maam, uhhhh, its, uhhh, i'm just letting him in his room, nothing's happening
old lady thinks i'm an arson
vegas sucks
security leaves
i decide to finish judge dredd. why not, i'm awake anyway
sylvester says "guilty" as he shoots a guy
this movie rules
i read somewhere that if your hotel room is super dry, then you should hang a wet towel in front of the air vent. i couldn't hang anything in front of the opening, so i just soaked some towels and hucked them over some chairs. it didn't do anything. stupid book full of lies
there's a little "g" on my phone when i use the internet on it. when i lose connection while i'm still on the internet, it'll put a slash through the "g". whenever this happens, i realized that i always say in my head - shoot, i lost my g
hey, i call my mom, she picks up about as often as i do
i just found the man i hate more then terrorism
robby takac
bass player from goo goo dolls
he is terrible. in every way. i can't stand it. if you don't believe me,
his myspace
he is continually doing horrible songs on all their records. try listening to "january friend" off of dizzy up the girl
blllllleeeeeeeeeecccchchhhh
lavo lounge booyah
staff party on the top lounge of the lavo lounge. open bar, buffet and a dude in the bathroom that hands you towels after you wash your hands. so much fun
becker is on at least 3 different stations at all times on vegas tv. vegas folk love becker. and becker loves vegas folk
i spent an hour in the shower watching sumo wrestling. only in vegas
i haven't seen the sun in 2 days. only in vegas
i have stepped on everything in my hotel room. not even kidding, i walked in and jumped on the beds, stepped on all the tables, jumped on the couch, stood on all the chairs and ran across the coffee table. i then turned on the water in both sinks, the bathtub, and the shower all at once, then flushed the toilet over and over. then i turned the air conditioning on full blast at 50 degrees. i then mooned the city from my 29th floor hotel room. only in vegas
i have to be up early for work, i better to get to bed. uuuuggghghhghgrhrghhh
*this last part is for david hughes*
"hey son, i've got some bad news. your mom and i are getting a divo-"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNN FUUUUUUURRRRRRREEEEEENNNNNNZZZZZAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yea i made it
so i made it to vegas.
i've been trying to do a video blog and post it. but when your camera's screen doesn't work, things are difficult. didn't have the right cable at first, now i have to download all the freakin pictures on it because i can't delete them on the camera without the screen working, and now i don't even know if the battery will last because i don't remember the last time i charged it
this is frustrating, but we'll see
heading to veegas
i woke up on the couch today. forgot i slept here. got woken up by the bird talking and laughing. then realized that my mom was also talking. then double realized that, no it was in fact still the bird. then triple realized that my sister ange was talking. then 4th realized that my sister is not in town right now. that bird is good
i'm heading to vegas. we're leaving for the airport in 2 hours. i still have to-
1. shower
2. get dressed
3. pack
4. go pick up a check
5. go cash that check so i have money in vegas
6. go pick up a pair of jeans from H&M
7. find a pair of kakis to wear in vegas
8. print out all my travel information
9. realize that it's raining outside
10. booyah
ok, i better get going, my brain is starting to fight me
labels for this post: e.g. scooters, vacation, fall
you don't realize how important your tailbone is until you sit down weird and your belt bruises it, and your limping for multiple days and lose at a game of tip-it with travis and dave
there's 3 levels of boredom for me
level 1 - the "i'm choosing to be bored right now so i'm ok" stage.
~this usually involves turning on the tv, and snacking on just about anything that i can get my idle devil hands on
level 2 - the "being content with watching anything on tv, absolutely no requirements for the program" stage
~i'm generally drifting in and out of a nap for the entirety of this stage
~i'm way to lazy to turn on lights as the sun starts to set, so it gets pretty pathetic looking after a while
~my body has grown weak to accept usually easy tasks, such as talking on the phone, or removing the other sock that i forgot to take off when i sat on the couch
level 3 - the super gittery "i'm freaking out and need to get out of here now" stage
~at this point i'm beyond watching just tv, i need to multi-task. laundry is started, i'm texting over 5 people at once, playing some kind of instrument, and planning my finances for the coming weeks
~disneyland passes get purchased in this stage
i'm watching star trek right now. i never watch this show. obama is certainly changing things
i tried watching the inauguration speech on my DVR a few minutes ago. it chose to record 8 hours of gems tv instead. stupid technology
yeeeeoooo
so a good friend of mine decided to let me borrow her old computer for a bit while she is in africa hanging out. besides the fact that i'm super thankful, the other fact is that i can blog way more frequently. awesome
first thing i did with this computer was go to the refinery and use the free wi fi. i sat down and a huge group of visitors came up behind me as i was turning on the computer. i quickly realized that they would all see any image that was the background as the computer loaded up, and i had no idea what it was. quick prayers were definately answered. no awkward background pics
i then opened itunes to find crystal lewis albums in bulk. thank you allison. the first song i listened to was definately "come just as you are".
personal pet peeve - not having that "2 finger scroll" thing activated on laptops. it kills me. allison, i'm sorry, but i'm turning it back on
and 5 minutes later, i still can't figure out how to turn it back on. you win for now powerbook
still blasting crystal lewis in my headphones
i want to already be awesome with a butterfly knife. also every sega game ever, and backflips
if you didn't know already, costco kicked me out of the club. sucks. it felt weird, i've never been kicked out of a club. i wonder how it feels to get kicked out of other clubs like a chess club or a bowling club or the AAA club or AA club.
every so often i'll call someone and by the time they pick up, i'll have forgotten the purpose for the call. at this point i generally look around real quick and just ask the first question that comes to mind from my surroundings. ex. "oh hi mom, uhhhh...can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home? oh ok great"
just realized i've been listening to christmas music for the past 3 songs. turning it off, and going outside. it's to nice of a day out to spend it inside on a computer listening to crystal lewis telling me she'll be home for christmas
tell them that the house is not for sale because the furnace is broke
my mom has a group of santas in the dinning room. they are very skinny, wooden santas. she calls them "the lord of the santas" and laughs every time she says it. i love my mom
i could be 80 years old and still think hiccups and farts are hilarious
i was watching scrubs the other day and it made me wonder what my tough biker name would be. like dragon king, or hells boot, or chainsaw king. but i'd probably just end up being gecko slayer
when i'm driving home from work, i can't shake the feeling that i have tons and tons of groceries in my car
oh yea, if you didn't know already...
booooyah. i work at costco. and as a costco employee i get to realize things like;
most common combination of food is: bananas, nuts, and avocados
hello kitty boom boxes are this years "hot item" at costco
costco employees love the lottery
costco shoppers love their mustaches to the max
just some quick ones
helicopters circling light my curiosity faster then a california wild fire. i could be on my way to a job interview, see a helicopter cicling and not get a job that day because i'm driving around town chasing chaos
i'm not ok with toilet paper commercials
30 second bloggggggin
whenever me and my sisters run out of toothpaste, we always go into our parents bedroom and take theirs. whenever they see it gone, they know to get some more. this still applies when we are moved out
war may not be the answer, but neither are negative bumper stickers and prius's
it kills me that mary kate and ashley olson sold over 800 thousand copies of this-brother for sale
i've been thinking of getting a turtle tattoo. nikki wants to call it a tat-turtle
i had wing stop for breakfast the other day. no regrets 08
getting ready for the music video
you have to prepare for these things. luckily i have a good friend named gabe to help me out
post on mypsace and facebooks and blogs worldwide
Refinery Episode 1
Camera slowly zooms out of a manly yet conservative mustache. slowly reveals taylor ishii standing in all his glory at the entrance to the majestic, urban, kind-of-reminds-me-of-a-tank, building which we like to call....
THE REFINERY
our hero, taylor, is working tonight, also known as "ishii-ing". his job is to generally rule the refinery and make sure the hooligans don't wreck the place.
crave has just finished and the always incredibly indecisive college-ins are beginning the discussion of "where to go now"
typical crave guy (TCG, but not typical college guy, they are completely different) - "we should go to in-n-out"
girl 1 - "no, we went last week. lets go to sushi! i know a place. we should go there because i'm familiar with it"
girl 2 - "but by the time we finish discussing this and leave it will probably be closed. hahahaha!!"
all three together - "lol!!"
taylor looks at camera and rolls his eyes in typical taylor fashion
mute math - "the typicaaaaaallll"
meanwhile every other person in the refinery is having pretty much the exact same discussion, so lets go upstairs
taylor looks at camera - "here let me show you my crib"
camera does weird repeat shot thing that always makes luke sick
luke - "yea it does"
upstairs we see ping pong tables, billiard tables, pool tables, pocket billiard tables, spa tables, regular tables, fable tables, maple tables, coffee tables, oak tables, end tables, pizza tables, poker tables, joker tables, black jack tables, flap jack tables, weird high tables that are part of a beam of some sort tables, glass tables on top of car tire tables, and chairs.
2 hours later
Oh no! the crave people are yet to decide on anything at all!
TCG - "so, i still think we should hit up in-n-out"
girl 1 - "no way! lets get sushi, i haven't had sushi in so long!"
girl 2 - "hahaha, its closed now! how funny is that?!?"
group - "lol!!"
david - "lets get poolside, right now"
just then we hear a trumpet, a guitar, and that weird fat guitar thingy that i think is a bass, play that song that is usually at the beginning of spanish movies
taylor - "they have come. they have come to play soccer. and holy crap they have jerseys"
yes, taylor is correct. all the workers that he invited to play a pick-up game of soccer have come. camera pans across every one of them, all wearing mexico jerseys, all with thick burly mustaches, and all with generations of naturally skilled soccer skills in their blood. these are the men that play soccer
and these are also the men that love destroying young college-ins at their national past time.
taylor needs a team. and fast! what are his options??
1. ask crave-ers to play
pro- people on the team
con= it'll take them another 2 hours to decide if they even want to start thinking about maybe playing
2. play by himself
pro - he can start the game and maybe only lose by 40 points
con- years of counseling to convince himself that he knows how to actually play soccer
3. cancel the game
pro - no game, no worries
con- angry mexican workers staring him down for the rest of his years, and constant jokes made in spanish
4. run away
pro- get to live in florida
con- have to live in florida
everyone in the refinery - "ewwwww!!!!"
oh what will the iish do??
tune in next time to
crave episodes!
i mean...
THE REFINERY
i should've written this one sooner
so me and dillon were working at this house the other day. i was working in the living room, dillan was running all over the house doing random stuff, and the owners had left. i would've been totally alone if it wasn't for their unbelievably cute puppy named "bella"
no matter where i was working, the dog would come and sit next to me and fall asleep. not even watching me, just in my general area. i would move, and he (she maybe?) it would follow.
only problem is, every time it came over to sit down, it would fart. like huge smelling but totally quiet farts. they smelled so unbelievably bad, i just couldn't understand how a dog that small could create a stench that horrible. but he/she/it would just look up at me and wag his/her/its tail. so i couldn't be mad obviously
dilan never got to experience the terror of the bella gas
i would see him/her/it coming and start singing "under my smelly bella-ella--ella---a---a" and she/him/it would run to me. so freakin cute. so i took pictures of bella hanging out with me
drafts
so to recap, whenever i get an idea for a blog, i write a text and save it to my drafts. sometimes i also save things i have to remember, eg. - songs to look up, things to do, people's names to remember, etc. i usually delete after i don't need the text anymore, but sometimes i forget
these are all the ones i forgot to delete. every single one, no exclusions
note - there are typos because i am doing these exactly how they are on my phone. i don't spell correctly on my phone all the time because i don't care. these are in order from most new to most old. keep in mind - there are 61 of them, so it's the longest post i've ever done ever
enjoy!
bernard proposed to rose and her answer was - 'i'm dying'. what a freakin debbie downer
jon
take time to realize
doubting thomas - nickel creek
prius owners are so cocky with all the freakin pro-peace, pro-earth, pro-choice and anti bush stickers they put all over their cars
what do you have? jazz bass. how many strings? four. ha! i win! wait what, that doesn't mean you won at all
and the little bugger farts like a maniac
north 405. off at santa monica. take a right. left at beverly glen(about a mile ish) corner of rochester & beverly glen. 10394 rochester
mustache men never shy from using double negatives
wow
clair's accent is so fake, she totally doesn't have it in this one scene
jolein ray
mustache men chew gum more often then they don't chew gum
my goofball status, concerning making kids laugh has definately jumped a few notches during mustache week
construction rig accident
what's mario's favorite kind of pants. denim denim denim
only at starbucks would i hear bob marley played right after damien rice
i have started measuring distances to places by hom many summer wilshire songs i get through before i get there
the deliciously mundane and curiously uncute
damn squeek shoes
but i'm right. i swear i'm right, it's like.....i knew it all along
play a harmonica
get different regular glasses, and sweet sunglasses
jesus is a friend of mine
you wear your bass so low! the other bass players wear them way high. it's so gay
how many bedrooms
ketton
do binoculars work underwater
shangrala
i always imagine what i would do on if i was on the island. what i would build, how i would build it, where i would build it. i imagine what i would do everyday, what i would do for clothes
lost is the greatest show ever
whats th key to comedy timing
just realized that God gave all men a pee gun come standard
i have this weird skill of being able to spot fake babies on tv shows or movies
fact- if you eat enough volcano tabo from tabo bell- your pomp turns red
subblime
pedi paws
but i also don't like maids of honor that half ass their duties. screw them
maids of honor that take the 'make sure the dress looks good when i'm at the altar' part way to extensively
it's never not amazing to me that the bride doesn't trip on her dress
ten bridesmaids?!? seriously? thats just
taking a nap during church is always so sketchy for me because i talk and mutter in my sleep. i'm scared of what i might shout in my sleep
it's a possibility that every saint was the same person, based on the paintings in every catholic church in the universe
jeffany
174
pizza and
yea. s
questions on my mind - can flies fly straight? ever?
stacy clark
sons of thunder
everything you do must be in love
love is a choice, attraction is not
5 north exit jeffery. turn left then a right on walnut left on yale. left on karen ann lane it's on the right
throwing an axe at a used
a verse of some sort on one side, another verse in french on the other
first time in my life i've ever wanted a mustache boob
psalm 54
film a commercial selling catch
jumping makes pee procrastinate
men with big beards probably don't go on first dates much because of food always hanging from their mustaches
1247
well there you go.
if peeing your pants is cool, consider me greg vail
every night as i get into bed, i get to see every pokemon character in creation. my sheets are pokemon sheets. why do i not get new ones? because i can't convince myself that spending the money is worth it. so until then, hello pokemon sheets
flys aren't scary. they really aren't. they are small and not intimidating. but one of those little buggers get near your ear without you looking, and it will freak you out to no end
on my deathbed, my final request will be that greg vail admit to me that he started playing sax because of the bodyguard soundtrack
i was at disneyland the other day and came to a realization. parades are gay. end of story
went to a baseball game the other day. kimmy gibbler sang the national anthem. i was the only one in the whole stadium that realized who she was
i was in line in the express lane at the store. woman in front of me has over 30 items, pays with cash and check, and has coupons, and is very elderly definitely did not speak english. i have incredible patience for these kinds of things but i couldn't help but laugh out loud at how long it all took. everyone else found no humor in the situation. i almost said "the express line 15 items or less, unless you don't speak english apparently" but sass was never my strong point
the law of the mustache man
- mustache men are always polite to the ladies, and always hold doors open for them
- mustache men always love their moms and will never refuse to wear any sweater given to them by their mother
- mustache men have motorcycles, or aspire to get one
- mustache men always make clever points, but are never proud or boastful about such things. they'll only give a close lipped smile, turn the head slightly, and wink
- mustache men never get frustrated at television programs, they only make comments about the program using clever facts and proverbs. this usually involves pointing
- mustache men with accents are rare and always need to be valued in the mustache posse
- mustache men have all had their run ins with the law, but calmly avoid going into detail about such events
- mustache men never turn down an opportunity to dress like a gentleman
- mustache men wearing hats are required to tilt their head down to any lady present
- mustache men only cry when..... wait... mustache men never ever cry ever
- mustache men are natural gunslingers
secret stache
lost my glasses. first casualty of mustache week
it's not that i forget that i have a mustache, it's that i forget what i look like with one. every time i wake up and look in the mirror, it's a shock
at night outside, when it gets really really cold, phil (my mustache) gets really cold. it feels like little prickly spider fingers crawling into my mouth, which obviously is terrifying
when thinking of things to do with a mustache, you start realizing that there is an extremely thin line between doing manly mustache activities, and doing gay mustache activities. who woulda thought that walking around with suspenders, no shirt, a yellow hard hat and a giant wrench is gay if you have a mustache
mustache week has begun
josh treece and i have decided to dedicate this entire week to the mustache. this was not originally going to be a huge deal, we just wanted to have mustache's for a week. but as more and more men caught on to what was going to happen, some have decided to jump in and rock a mustache for a week.
there have been many posts already about this week and it only started sunday. it lasts till saturday, and on saturday i will be shaving the mustache off. hang with me and witness the new facial feature that i have spent the past month building. here are the links to the other blogs already written about this week.
mustache week official beginning blog
dave's testimony
cnn interview
i dont think i even know this guy
thor life?
i feel like there are more, but i don't have time to look at every single one. let me know if you see any
let the games begin. i'll be updating quite frequently this week on the various things i've been doing with my new stache
september 6th/7th never forget
on september 6th, i ate a fudgescicle in the shower
when eating a fudgescicle in the shower, you for some reason can't stop dancing. but it's not real dancing, it's like when a toddler dances. you just kinda move your hips and your legs don't do much and your arms do whatever they want
when i got out of the shower, i dried myself off with a "finding nemo" towel. i did this because - at the end of a race, you usually have friends or family giving you high fives and hugs. but in the bathroom thats totally awkward, so i have fictional disney characters to give me props when i ate the fudgescicle in the shower
on the day that i ate a fudsgescicle in the shower, for the first time in my life i felt it necessary to have a mustache comb
every time i see a girl reading, i now assume it's that twilight series. so far i've been 100% right
what spin do i have to put on the ball so i don't suck at ping pong
playing ping pong on top of a very steep hill seems like the worst idea ever
i want a bug zapper. but i also want a bug attracter so i have more bugs to zap
on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower, i decided to make trombone players my #1 enemy #1
drummer playing at the wedding i mixed on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower - was african american and was eating fried chicken (that he brought from home) during the wedding
the cd's in my 6 disc cd changer in my car the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower
1. random worship cd (couple crowder, some hillsong, some phil wickham, some summer wilshire....)
2. the lakes (good band, used to be watshi wa, played the last show at the vault RIP)
3. recording of worship from crave this week (not that good of a recording, future trash item)
4. mixed cd sam gave me (it's a very odd collection of songs, but totally good to rock out to)
5. the gallows (if your angry, if your driving fast or if your off roading, but this on)
6. ryan adams - heartbreaker (98% of the time, i'm listening to this. so 98% of the time, i couldn't care less that i have a 6 cd disc changer)
on the day that i ate a fudgescicle in the shower, i didn't sleep and ended up working super late, watching lost season one, and having to leave early in the morning to play at a church. so that morning i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower
on the day i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower, i went to el pollo loco and got a burrito. i think the girl behind the counter liked me because the burrito i got was bigger then chipotle sized burritos. it was unreal. i also got an arnold palmer which was fantastic
on the day i drank a red bull sugar free in the shower, i dressed up nice because i made a promise with a friend that we would dress up nice. but apparently that only applied to me. over dressing for church is always a weird experience
list of things i've accomplished in the shower
1. drank a cactus cooler
2. ate a bowl of watermelon
3. ate a fudgescicle
4. drank a red bull sugar free
