felt the need to

when i think of things, just anything really that i want to remember, i will always type a text message and save it as a draft on my cell phone. i had a literal bucket full of ideas, but i went to the pool and decided to not remove my cell phone from my pocket. so also literally, many many many blog ideas died with my phone that day. i apologize for my idiocricy

when my phone died, instead of just not working, it decided to just vibrate constantly without letting any of the other functions of the phone be operable. no screen, no dialing, nothing, but it sure shootin could vibrate. i assume that thats the phone screaming in agony. you would think that it would scream with an annoying cell phone ring or just beep repeatedly

the person who's cell phone goes off at any public event (be it-church, movie theatre, sheryl crow concert), just happens to be the same person who doesn't know how to change the ringtone from the default one

i was at sam's house a while ago, and we were outside eating pretzels. his mom comes out and takes them away, saying that she needs those pretzels to help sam's little brother with his math homework. i instantly realized that this was the first time in my life that geometry prevented me from eating snacks

i'm almost positive that someone a long time ago simply started a rumor that eating the skin of cucumbers and potatoes could be healthy, probably as a joke

list of debbie downers to use if the time is right:
+if there is a pause in the conversation+ = "hey could we just take this time as a moment of silence for all the thousands of people in africa that wont eat today"
+if a cat walks by+ = "hey that looks like my old cat. but it probably isn't, it wasn't moving after dad ran over it with the truck"
+watching a boxing match+ = "man i remember my first black eye, mom sure was drunk that night"

i just can't even comprehend the thought process of the guy that saw the script for the first episode of "two and a half men" and thought "chuh-ching"

my mom bought the movie cloverfield. she's never seen it, so she wants me to watch it and tell her if she'll like it