everything is ridiculous in texas

didn't realize till i was getting on the plane that my boss thought my middle name was tyler. i say it out loud and all i hear is "liv tyler". my brain wont accept that as my middle name

construction at the airport = me taking a 10 minute bus ride to my plane. it felt like the last scene in speed, and i loved it

i was in line at security check (where they xray your carry ons) and right as my bag got in, i hear someone yell "BOMB!!". it was weird because no one freaked, but every security person moved to a different position. i didn't flip out or anything, but my heart did actually stop working so he wouldn't be distracted and miss what was going on. turns out it was a drill. here's the deal. if i was a security guard and i have a gun, and someone yells bomb, i'm shooting everyone in that general direction. and i mean everyone

american airlines totally freaking sucks, but they have a totally kickass eagle as their logo

when i'm at an airport, i feel like everyone is always cutting in front of me, or attempting to cut in front of me. no matter where or what i'm doing. when i realized this, it became so apparent that i had to sit down and laugh my brains out, but some guy cut in front of me and took the seat

i just honestly feel like there are to many people working in all the wrong areas at airports. there were 3 clerks checking in 7 packed lines of anxious flyers, then i went to my gate and there were 6 people walking around picking up trash, with absolutely no trash in site. get more people doing actual necessary work, and less people doing absolutely nothing

i like to shoot people with smiles, see if i get any back. it's not a sudden thing, it's more like when i have some sort of interaction with someone. i'll wip out a big ol grin and see if they reciprocate. if they smile full blown, showing teeth, i call that a head shot. if they only grin, it's a body shot. if they don't do anything, it's a complete miss. i relate smiling with killing people. i'm ok with it

you know what, now that i think about it, every time i get on a bus, i think of the movie speed

with my middle name slip up, it got me thinking of what i could name my kid so his initials could make me laugh. i came up with these. feel free to add more
manuel esteban st. hilaire - MESH
pamela ortega st. hilaire - POSH
peter orion ryan st. hilaire - PORSH
samuel langford adams st. hilaire - SLASH
frederick ronald eugine st. hilaire - FRESH

as long as you get to the airport with plenty of time, plenty of energy, and a good attitude, traveling doesn't totally blow chunks

by semi popular request...

freeway lanes are divided up, not by lines, but by how likely/willing you are to get a speeding ticket. if your in the far left lane, you probably are really ok with a felony charge

i water the plants in my atrium so that when i put the fan on, it pulls in cool air. but now all these big plants are growing now. what an unexpected side effect from not having proper air conditioning

my parents float won the lake forest parade. i think it's because my parents love being on the float, and when you see someone that loves being on a float, you can't help but be stoked for the people on the float. free candy is ok, but a float of actual joy is rare when it's 100 million degrees out

our family has a desert tortoise. he doesn't sing or dance or do tricks, and you can't really hold him. i mean you can, but you might as well be holding a rock. he doesn't tell jokes and he wont laugh at yours. you can't cuddle with him and there's nothing that he actually does that will improve or worsen your mood. but for some reason, when i'm around him i'm happy. turtles radiate happiness. if you know someone suffering from depression, buy them a desert tortoise

while pumping gas at my favorite gas station, i started cleaning my windshield. this is when i realized my left arm goes completely limp when my right arm does all the work. i figured my left arm should at least be doing something, i don't want to be raising any lazy limbs. if you drove by the lake forest chevron at 7pm yesterday, you would've seen a man cleaning his windshield with his right arm and his left arm giving a thumbs up to the right arm

while driving with dom today, i accidently flipped the radio station to a japanese-ish talk show program. unbeknownst to both of us as we drove, we were listening for 20 minutes of this without realizing we had no idea what they were saying. even though i can't understand the program, i feel smarter with it on. i vowed that i would not change the channel for 24 hours and see if i get brilliant. also it's quite fun driving around the spectrum with it cranked. 106.3 = saigon talk radio. 그게 최선입니다!!