Refinery Episode 1

Camera slowly zooms out of a manly yet conservative mustache. slowly reveals taylor ishii standing in all his glory at the entrance to the majestic, urban, kind-of-reminds-me-of-a-tank, building which we like to call....


THE REFINERY


our hero, taylor, is working tonight, also known as "ishii-ing". his job is to generally rule the refinery and make sure the hooligans don't wreck the place.

crave has just finished and the always incredibly indecisive college-ins are beginning the discussion of "where to go now"

typical crave guy (TCG, but not typical college guy, they are completely different) - "we should go to in-n-out"

girl 1 - "no, we went last week. lets go to sushi! i know a place. we should go there because i'm familiar with it"

girl 2 - "but by the time we finish discussing this and leave it will probably be closed. hahahaha!!"

all three together - "lol!!"

taylor looks at camera and rolls his eyes in typical taylor fashion

mute math - "the typicaaaaaallll"

meanwhile every other person in the refinery is having pretty much the exact same discussion, so lets go upstairs

taylor looks at camera - "here let me show you my crib"

camera does weird repeat shot thing that always makes luke sick

luke - "yea it does"

upstairs we see ping pong tables, billiard tables, pool tables, pocket billiard tables, spa tables, regular tables, fable tables, maple tables, coffee tables, oak tables, end tables, pizza tables, poker tables, joker tables, black jack tables, flap jack tables, weird high tables that are part of a beam of some sort tables, glass tables on top of car tire tables, and chairs.

2 hours later

Oh no! the crave people are yet to decide on anything at all!

TCG - "so, i still think we should hit up in-n-out"

girl 1 - "no way! lets get sushi, i haven't had sushi in so long!"

girl 2 - "hahaha, its closed now! how funny is that?!?"

group - "lol!!"

david - "lets get poolside, right now"

just then we hear a trumpet, a guitar, and that weird fat guitar thingy that i think is a bass, play that song that is usually at the beginning of spanish movies

taylor - "they have come. they have come to play soccer. and holy crap they have jerseys"

yes, taylor is correct. all the workers that he invited to play a pick-up game of soccer have come. camera pans across every one of them, all wearing mexico jerseys, all with thick burly mustaches, and all with generations of naturally skilled soccer skills in their blood. these are the men that play soccer

and these are also the men that love destroying young college-ins at their national past time.

taylor needs a team. and fast! what are his options??

1. ask crave-ers to play
pro- people on the team
con= it'll take them another 2 hours to decide if they even want to start thinking about maybe playing

2. play by himself
pro - he can start the game and maybe only lose by 40 points
con- years of counseling to convince himself that he knows how to actually play soccer

3. cancel the game
pro - no game, no worries
con- angry mexican workers staring him down for the rest of his years, and constant jokes made in spanish

4. run away
pro- get to live in florida
con- have to live in florida

everyone in the refinery - "ewwwww!!!!"

oh what will the iish do??

tune in next time to

crave episodes!

i mean...

THE REFINERY

i should've written this one sooner

so me and dillon were working at this house the other day. i was working in the living room, dillan was running all over the house doing random stuff, and the owners had left. i would've been totally alone if it wasn't for their unbelievably cute puppy named "bella"

no matter where i was working, the dog would come and sit next to me and fall asleep. not even watching me, just in my general area. i would move, and he (she maybe?) it would follow.

only problem is, every time it came over to sit down, it would fart. like huge smelling but totally quiet farts. they smelled so unbelievably bad, i just couldn't understand how a dog that small could create a stench that horrible. but he/she/it would just look up at me and wag his/her/its tail. so i couldn't be mad obviously

dilan never got to experience the terror of the bella gas

i would see him/her/it coming and start singing "under my smelly bella-ella--ella---a---a" and she/him/it would run to me. so freakin cute. so i took pictures of bella hanging out with me

drafts

so to recap, whenever i get an idea for a blog, i write a text and save it to my drafts. sometimes i also save things i have to remember, eg. - songs to look up, things to do, people's names to remember, etc. i usually delete after i don't need the text anymore, but sometimes i forget

these are all the ones i forgot to delete. every single one, no exclusions

note - there are typos because i am doing these exactly how they are on my phone. i don't spell correctly on my phone all the time because i don't care. these are in order from most new to most old. keep in mind - there are 61 of them, so it's the longest post i've ever done ever

enjoy!


bernard proposed to rose and her answer was - 'i'm dying'. what a freakin debbie downer

jon

take time to realize

doubting thomas - nickel creek

prius owners are so cocky with all the freakin pro-peace, pro-earth, pro-choice and anti bush stickers they put all over their cars

what do you have? jazz bass. how many strings? four. ha! i win! wait what, that doesn't mean you won at all

and the little bugger farts like a maniac

north 405. off at santa monica. take a right. left at beverly glen(about a mile ish) corner of rochester & beverly glen. 10394 rochester

mustache men never shy from using double negatives

wow

clair's accent is so fake, she totally doesn't have it in this one scene

jolein ray

mustache men chew gum more often then they don't chew gum

my goofball status, concerning making kids laugh has definately jumped a few notches during mustache week

construction rig accident

what's mario's favorite kind of pants. denim denim denim

only at starbucks would i hear bob marley played right after damien rice

i have started measuring distances to places by hom many summer wilshire songs i get through before i get there

the deliciously mundane and curiously uncute

damn squeek shoes

but i'm right. i swear i'm right, it's like.....i knew it all along

play a harmonica

get different regular glasses, and sweet sunglasses

jesus is a friend of mine

you wear your bass so low! the other bass players wear them way high. it's so gay

how many bedrooms

ketton

do binoculars work underwater

shangrala

i always imagine what i would do on if i was on the island. what i would build, how i would build it, where i would build it. i imagine what i would do everyday, what i would do for clothes

lost is the greatest show ever

whats th key to comedy timing

just realized that God gave all men a pee gun come standard

i have this weird skill of being able to spot fake babies on tv shows or movies

fact- if you eat enough volcano tabo from tabo bell- your pomp turns red

subblime

pedi paws

but i also don't like maids of honor that half ass their duties. screw them

maids of honor that take the 'make sure the dress looks good when i'm at the altar' part way to extensively

it's never not amazing to me that the bride doesn't trip on her dress

ten bridesmaids?!? seriously? thats just

taking a nap during church is always so sketchy for me because i talk and mutter in my sleep. i'm scared of what i might shout in my sleep

it's a possibility that every saint was the same person, based on the paintings in every catholic church in the universe

jeffany

174

pizza and

yea. s

questions on my mind - can flies fly straight? ever?

stacy clark

sons of thunder

everything you do must be in love

love is a choice, attraction is not

5 north exit jeffery. turn left then a right on walnut left on yale. left on karen ann lane it's on the right

throwing an axe at a used

a verse of some sort on one side, another verse in french on the other

first time in my life i've ever wanted a mustache boob

psalm 54

film a commercial selling catch

jumping makes pee procrastinate

men with big beards probably don't go on first dates much because of food always hanging from their mustaches

1247

well there you go.

if peeing your pants is cool, consider me greg vail

every night as i get into bed, i get to see every pokemon character in creation. my sheets are pokemon sheets. why do i not get new ones? because i can't convince myself that spending the money is worth it. so until then, hello pokemon sheets

flys aren't scary. they really aren't. they are small and not intimidating. but one of those little buggers get near your ear without you looking, and it will freak you out to no end

on my deathbed, my final request will be that greg vail admit to me that he started playing sax because of the bodyguard soundtrack

i was at disneyland the other day and came to a realization. parades are gay. end of story

went to a baseball game the other day. kimmy gibbler sang the national anthem. i was the only one in the whole stadium that realized who she was

i was in line in the express lane at the store. woman in front of me has over 30 items, pays with cash and check, and has coupons, and is very elderly definitely did not speak english. i have incredible patience for these kinds of things but i couldn't help but laugh out loud at how long it all took. everyone else found no humor in the situation. i almost said "the express line 15 items or less, unless you don't speak english apparently" but sass was never my strong point