table for glasses of orange juice

mustangs love taking turns faster than "the man" wants them to

spiders have always loved the fact they can sneak into whatever car i have and party their little brains out when i'm asleep

for years, ralphs has been my main supplier for blank cds. but not anymore. the office supplies aisle has now become 100% useless to me

when i'm carrying my laundry to the washer, i always walk backwards so i don't drop and leave any socks behind. being efficient in my clothe washing is more important to me than the potential hazard of tripping and splitting my head open. laundry baskets are for nerds

i wonder how loud a butterfly would scream every time someone catches them by their wings

with minimal reception, my phone will receive text messages, but in the exact same spot, it will refuse to send them. my phone actually decided if given the chance, it would rather receive then give. how do you teach nokia products to be like scrooge in the last 20 minutes of christmas carol

i share my bathroom with my sister ange. there are 4 loofas in the shower. i don't use loofas. what the heck ange. girls are weird