everything in moderation is totally fine, including victory dances and calling out chumps when you see em

sometimes i like to pick a youtube video, any youtube video, and see how many comments i can scroll down before someone cusses. i think my record is 5

i wore white pants today. i like em. but i'm actually just excited for the day when i don't wear them as much and i turn them into jean shorts. it's like the equivalent of a farmer looking at a cow and being excited for steak burger fridays, so he buys the cow. or like when a normal american man sees a tree and gets excited for a possible new baseball bat, so he cuts down the entire tree and burns whatever he doesn't use. or when PETA sees a dead dog on the side of the road and gets excited for all the people they're going to yell at and demean for having absolutely nothing to do with actual animal cruelty

me and a bunch of friends went to "cherry on top" tonight. if you don't know, "cherry on top" is just like every other yogurt place in the world, i don't care what anyone says, it's all pretty much the same.
anyways, travis wanted diet coke, so we went to mcdonalds. i suddenly realized i would way rather have mcdonalds then stupid yogurt.

after sitting back down in "cherry on yogurtland" with my large big and tasty meal, multiple people followed suit and bolted for mcdonalds. it's not about setting trends, it's about realizing that mcdonalds may be "unhealthy" but is still just so freakin good.

when you eat food in front of people that would rather be having your food than their stupid yogurt, a look creeps into their faces that can only be described as "regret"

the other day i sat down and ate 2 big and tasty burgers and a large fry in 10 minutes. this may seem disgusting to certain people, but to me it was both satisfying, fulfilling, and inspiring and satisfying. and whatever word can be used to describe that feeling when you win at something, but it's not a competition. like lifting the really heavy box by yourself, or jumping onto the couch from far away and landing exactly how you wanted, or looking at a plate of food and having people say "oh you can't possibly eat that much, oh my gosh, there's no way, i'm so annoying" and then you saying "watch this" and 10 minutes later doing a double fist pump but then calming down because you don't want to rile up the innards after that pile of grease you just devoured

when i die, i want God to have a count of how many chips i ate in my lifetime, but it all in a pile, and see what actual mountains aren't taller than it