sidekick to the face

if one of my friends every got seriously injured on a trampoline, of course i would laugh. i would also describe him to my friends as hilariously injured

i went to the t-mobile store to check some stuff out and check why my phone was being stupid. this is the real events of the.....event
-hey, so my phone doesn't display random names on text messages, it'll only show the number. solution?
*girl behind counter takes my phone*
-yea, this exact thing totally happened to my sidekick to. i have no idea how to fix it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
-so...how'd you eventually fix it?
-oh, i didn't. still does it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
+in my brain= well if you couldn't figure it out on your sidekick.... then what are you doing on my phone+
-ummm.... can i have my phone back?
*most awkward phone handover in the history of ever*

alright probably high school kid on sidewalk riding a bmx bike, it is to freakin hot to be wearing those long pants and that beanie. heat exhaustion isn't the way to being popular. man up and wear some jean shorts

i realized a terrible terrible thing the other night. if i leave my windows open, those possums i see at night all the time might climb into my car. how the frick have i never realized this. i don't care about thieves, sitting down in my car and having a possum hiss at me from the back seat is AAAHAHHHHHHHHh

i am literally never thinking arbys

i wonder what the percentage of girls in the world put a rose on their dash

my good friend allison hibbard gave me an eagle statue a few weeks ago. it is as majestic as the constitution itself. problem is, is that i have no idea where to put the thing. it's to good to put in my room, i'll barely ever see it. solution?

i strapped him into my passenger seat and named him troy aikman



troy hates when i break the law, and hates a messy car. he's been in there since he entered my life, and i don't plan on him moving soon