by semi popular request...

freeway lanes are divided up, not by lines, but by how likely/willing you are to get a speeding ticket. if your in the far left lane, you probably are really ok with a felony charge

i water the plants in my atrium so that when i put the fan on, it pulls in cool air. but now all these big plants are growing now. what an unexpected side effect from not having proper air conditioning

my parents float won the lake forest parade. i think it's because my parents love being on the float, and when you see someone that loves being on a float, you can't help but be stoked for the people on the float. free candy is ok, but a float of actual joy is rare when it's 100 million degrees out

our family has a desert tortoise. he doesn't sing or dance or do tricks, and you can't really hold him. i mean you can, but you might as well be holding a rock. he doesn't tell jokes and he wont laugh at yours. you can't cuddle with him and there's nothing that he actually does that will improve or worsen your mood. but for some reason, when i'm around him i'm happy. turtles radiate happiness. if you know someone suffering from depression, buy them a desert tortoise

while pumping gas at my favorite gas station, i started cleaning my windshield. this is when i realized my left arm goes completely limp when my right arm does all the work. i figured my left arm should at least be doing something, i don't want to be raising any lazy limbs. if you drove by the lake forest chevron at 7pm yesterday, you would've seen a man cleaning his windshield with his right arm and his left arm giving a thumbs up to the right arm

while driving with dom today, i accidently flipped the radio station to a japanese-ish talk show program. unbeknownst to both of us as we drove, we were listening for 20 minutes of this without realizing we had no idea what they were saying. even though i can't understand the program, i feel smarter with it on. i vowed that i would not change the channel for 24 hours and see if i get brilliant. also it's quite fun driving around the spectrum with it cranked. 106.3 = saigon talk radio. 그게 최선입니다!!