killer john travolta questionaire

i dont know why i forgot about this until a few days ago, but i decided to talk about it for a bit.

when i was in the ER for my lip (that guy that jumped me in the shower with a cleaver. reference article picture "local man fends off knife attack with teeth"), i was shown something that i totally thought was a joke and wasnt real

i bring you......the pain chart

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oh yea. this is legitamate. the nurse asked me how much it hurt, and when i said "kind of alot, but not really", she felt it an appropriate time to wip out the chart

she gave it to me and i made alot of comments (but she couldnt understand because my lip was the size for a delicious strawberry)

alot of my comments were sarcastic, but the train of thought went like this


whats this
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are you serious. well i dont feel better than those 3 for sure, so i'm probably that guy
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but my pain isnt that bad. so i'm going to have to say my pain level number is about here
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so...what. is this what i look like
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i'm a somewhat frown face, maybe a little smug, with a 3 - 3.1 rating of pain
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but my eyebrows are way bigger than that
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here's your chart back. i didnt know a 5 year old could draw all 10 levels of pain. was this made the year before he learned how to color?


after that, she sent me back into the lobby to wait. i guess my frown wasnt that bad. but if you know me, you know i can make a pretty crazy frown. it would probably be this on the chart
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you walk into the ER with that face, good luck on NOT getting immediate medical attention

3 comments:

Brent said...

That face looks about right.

david thomas said...

hahahaha.

you are by far one of the funniest writers on the face of this planet.

i got my wisdom teeth out on friday - they never gave me a pain chart.

jealous.

David Hughes said...

haha...


i feel bad for anyone who hasn't seen a legitimate luke frown...it could make tickle-me-elmo cry..and that guy is always joking around.