if i leave the sliding glass door open in my room, turtles sneak in
i have a gecko in my room and on my arm. they both have names. i name geckos
i take up as much of the intersection as possible when i make u-turns just so i know i'm right when someone gets mad at me. i'm making a u-turn, i can do whatever i freakin want
one of my teachers raises the pitch of his voice when he turns to the whiteboard. i think he means to get louder, but it doesnt really happen like that. since he moves so slow (i think its because he's focusing on his voice) its like some kind of vocal roller coaster
i dont find anything funny about lightbulbs. so why are there so many jokes about them
a man's in the market, a terrorist leaps over the aisle, lands in front of him, and yells "i'm attacking you". an eagle then soars down, grabs the terrorist and feeds him to her newborn babys. the end
my credit card has an eagle on it. no one's ever stolen it either. what does that tell you? eagles bite thieves and thieves hate justice
mouse pads. gross
punch punch kick kick punch punch kick punch
someone tell me honestly if they remember that game and no its not some fighting game
listen to the following bands:
spill canvas
as tall as lions
watashi wa
cursive
the owls
movies to watch:
the prestige
blood diamond
the departed
the great labowski
"pick your battles, not your nose. unless you really need to" - Luke St.Hilaire
Telling it how it is it is
just focus and you'll make it through
taxidermy just sounds boring
my 30g ipod's screen broke. it has instantly become a glorified shuffle.
SHUFFLE -awkward to use, cant quite commit to investing in a real ipod, have to defend to all your friends on the possible benefits of keeping it around
i'm pretty sure my gecko eats the crickets out of anger more then hunger
i want to put my fist through a wall because i can think of so many cool stories of how it happened. ie - "a jackrabbit stole my last ringpop out of my halloween bag, so i punched a wall"
or
"jet li slept on my bed so i woke him up by spilling salsa over his legs, so he punched the wall"
or
"golum tried stealing the ringpop from jet li on mount doom with hobbitses, so i punched the wall"
my shoes are cool, i mean i like em, but who doesnt want new shoes
i sprayed vanilla car scent in my room, and it smelled like cat urine. car scents are not to be used in bedrooms
cops cant smell fear. its a lie. but they can smell weed and thats all that really matters
listen to the following bands:
AVNER
sun from shadow
summer wilshire
courage call
terminal
sleepless me
clap twice if you can read
possibly the most under rated movie ever
dodgeball
seriously. funniest movie in a long time
if you havent watched in a while, you should go rent and enjoy
"are you reading the dictionary?"
"let me introduce you to my team: blade, laser, blazer, me'shell, and fran stalinoshanaskalivish"
"make your jokes, you little jokey, joker-joke maker"
"lets bounce. cobras!"
"if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"
"necessary? is it necessary to drink my own urine? no, buts its sterile, and i like the taste"
"if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball"
"come on kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are"
"well its called the freedom of information act. i guess those hippies got something right! just kidding. but seriously"
"nobody makes me bleed my own blood"
"reminder, dyslexic players will not be allowed on the court"
"oh thats me taking the bull by the horns. its a metaphor. but it really happened"
"'L' is for love!"
i can quote this movie for days
go watch it and enjoy, cuz i am. enjoying. i'm enjoying the movie. right now, i'm enjoying the movie by watching it
Heart rate monitors
today i went to the oral surgeon to get two of my wisdom teeth pulled out.
the one at the bottom left part of my jaw was a liiiiittttlllee crooked. so they decided to pull the one on top as well, probably just for kicks.
so i get there today, and they sit me in this room facing a window that looks out onto the street. at once i see a truck covered in mud and want to go off roading
second, they tell me i'll be knocked out (not to be confused with knocked up) using an I.V. drip. i start laughing hysterically. dont know why. i guess its always been my response to anything medical related that freaks me out.
so i'm just giggling away while she is putting little heart rate things on my wrists and arms. i notice at once that everything i do effects the heart rate monitor on the wall that looked like this
so i squeeze my hand and it beeps. oh and btw, my resting heartrate is below 40bpm. when your heart rate drops below 43 on this machine, it considers you dead i guess, so lets just say the nurse was getting pissed at me cuz she had to keep resetting the machine. average american resting heart rate is 70bpm
to keep my heart rate up, and my mind off the enevitable, i played songs on the heart rate monitor by squeezing my hand to a beat in my head
thank you queen for blessing my life with "another one bites the dust"
as i was in mid-jam the doctor came in and told me to pretty much knock it off. i started back up the giggles when he started talking needles. he gave me a frustrated look, shoved it in my arm and told me that i better have a good dream ready
the next thing i remember (as i'm trying to recall, i'm starting to laugh again) my mom and the nurse were helping me to the car.
wierdest event of my life
now i'm watching spaceballs and eating my favorite kind of ice cream that looks alot like the food from "hook"
and i have no idea why random words in this blog are highlighted yellow
