elbow you into my life

the main reason why i love going to small shows is that it is a perfect breeding ground for unbearable awkwardness.
eg.- you see someone you know, you wave kind of, they see you but they smile but they might be looking at someone else, do you walk up? maybe you dont, but maybe they walk up to you, do you hug? maybe a small handshake. good luck trying to make conversation, but what the heck, you'll try anyways. oh you cant hear? well do you go outside, or was the only thing you were going to say was hello? then do you hang around them, or walk away?
its like a symphony of uncomfortable situations

every morning, without fail, a ball of lint will have formed in my bell button over night. and every morning in the shower, it escapes and runs down my leg and out of my life forever.
the other day i named it "cletus". every morning i've named the new guy
yesterday i yelled at fitzpatrick and told him to get out, and never come back. i stared him down as he headed down the drain

i feel like singing, i feel like dancing, i feel like boppin!! bop it, twist it, pull it

i don't care what corporate Honda says, it will always be the pond. emilio!!

no matter how many mints i eat, or how many pieces of gum i have, or the extensive time i spend brushing. if i burp, it was all for nothing

i love seeing someone get pulled over. especially for running red lights. oh man, if i see someone run a red and get pulled over, my week is complete

sometimes we work for people that i am certain have made up an accent. and why does she always have stuff to do in "lahuna beetch"?