secret stache

lost my glasses. first casualty of mustache week

it's not that i forget that i have a mustache, it's that i forget what i look like with one. every time i wake up and look in the mirror, it's a shock

at night outside, when it gets really really cold, phil (my mustache) gets really cold. it feels like little prickly spider fingers crawling into my mouth, which obviously is terrifying

when thinking of things to do with a mustache, you start realizing that there is an extremely thin line between doing manly mustache activities, and doing gay mustache activities. who woulda thought that walking around with suspenders, no shirt, a yellow hard hat and a giant wrench is gay if you have a mustache