that guy riding a motorcycle that gets a sunburn on his lower back because he's wearing a t-shirt that keeps flapping up

i now see jean purchases as investments in future shorts

i pride myself in how quiet i can run in dress shoes

the law of the local indie band:
1st - most important, look cool and dirty. ex- v neck's, tight jeans, long dirty hair, facial hair is absolutely necessary
2nd - don't smile. you smile and your out of the band
3rd - get some dudes (bonus if its coed) together and start writing songs. quantity of songs is important, remember that
4th - get instruments, but exclude random usually important ones to make it more indie ex - no drums or no bass or no guitar
5th - lastly and definitely of least importance, learn how to play your instrument

if i'm driving and i see a plastic bottle of any sort in the street, all other goals are temporarily suspended until i attempt to run it over. after the attempt, all normal actions are resumed

come on spa, really? 3 1/4 ft deep? no one is really counting, and no one can tell 3 inches. just put 3ish

my cupholders can't hold most cups because they are that awkward size thats just a little to small. but they hold pringle cans quite nice, so i'm totally fine with it

top three best things about vegas:
1. being able to talk on your cell phone and drive legally
2. spitting inside casinos
3. buffets where you can have pepperoni pizza, mashed potatoes, taquitos, sushi and giant crazy crab legs on the same plate

top three sucky things about vegas (also known as a blow up list)
1. 120 degree weather at midnight
2. disgusting slushi margaritas that are put in guitar hero controller shaped cups
3. getting stuck off roading when driving home in the 120 degree heat at noon in the middle of between-vegas-and-civilization road (also known as Zzyzx road)

thank you steve from franks tow service for pulling us out with your gmc american masterpiece of off road machinery

btw - steve of course has a crazy accent and a kickin stache