time to set some standards

alright me and my friend dave, (please visit his blog soon, its a fantastic read) have decided to start investing some time and point out flaws in todays pizza buying culture

every time that pizza is involved in any situation where i am present, i will assess the situation and determine how successful the pizza selection is

so lets start off with what happened last night

got home from crave last night, and matt, tyler and kenzie had ordered pizza. lets see how they did

pizza brand: dominos
number ordered: 2
crust type: the original
parmesan cheese provided: yes
real pizza's (pizza with pepperoni): 0
others: 2
pepperoni percentage: 0%
other percentage: 100%
event grade: complete failure. f-

pizza without pepperoni = cheese pizza
pizza with sausage = pizza with pepperoni and sausage
pizza without pepperoni but with ham and lettuce = pizza with ham and lettuce
pizza without pepperoni but with ham, pineapple, sausage, bell peppers, jalapenos, onions, cucumbers and olives = immediate deportation out of america

if there was a slice of pepperoni pizza and a hundred cheese slices, you bet your booty that i'm eating only one slice of pizza

there is nothing foolish about carrying a cooler with emergency sticks of pepperoni to an event

alright here's what i want to know. whens the last time you ate pizza, where was it from and how many slices of pepperoni did you have

2 comments:

Alli Hibb said...

I ordered pizza last night.
I also ordered pizza without pepperoni (which I ate)...pizza without pepperoni, but with vegetables...and pizza with pineapple.

Jaime and I joked about the pizza rules all night.

Ange said...

what is pepperoni isn't an option? Like, at costco, the #1 pizza capitol in CA, pep isn't an option.