its about time i wrote about this

this is not normally (normandy, no brandy?) my writing style, but i felt this story needs to be told in written format (floor mat, from matt?)

here it goes

a while ago when i worked at the hotel, (i worked at a hotel, ask me about sweet hotels) i met this girl named miranda in the cafeteria. a cute girl, seemed pretty cool, i got her number to hang out sometime. (which btw is a huge deal for me because i can never do that)

so she quits the hotel the next day and i call her and we're like "yea lets hang out"

she lives in san clemente is where she lives

i go pick her up at like, 9, and had nothing planned. (i didnt see it as a date, and i never really like to plan things). she said she wanted to go see this one movie. i thought it was a good idea, why not you know (y not u no, y not uno?)

but we decided to walk along the pier first. we walk and talk, and walk back and she points out where she works now. its a bed and breakfast that her uncle owns. its right there on the pier pretty much

next thing i know, people are yelling. two of her aunts and uncles were up on the roof getting slammed/wasted/drunk/sloshed/trashed/demolished. lots of alchohol

2 hours later i find myself sitting at the tables with the family realizing i had been there for the most unbearably awkward 2 hours of my life.

examples of what was said by the aunts to make it awkward -
"yea we're having sex in a while"
"your boobs are hot"
"that hot tub has done wonders to our sex life"
"i can totally see yor *bleeep* "
"dont get wiskey *beeeep* before we get to bed"

yeaaaa....holy crap so awkward. but it gets better. i decided to just sum up the following conversation by just writing what was said. you'll catch on who was who

"so luke. what the hell were you thinking taking my niece to the movies on a first date"
"uhhhh, well she wanted to go see that one movie"
"you cant talk in a movie, you probably just wanted to hook up. its a first date moron"
"well, it's not really a-"
"men are such idiots. all they want is action on the first date"
"well, no. i mean, this wasnt-"
"what do you do anyway"
"i work at the hotel"
"for how long"
"like, 2 years now"
"do you think that jobs going anywhere"
"well, its just a temp job really"
"my husband buys houses all the time. we have alot of money in this family"
"...cool"
"you think you can actually provide for my niece with some dead end job?"
"what, wait hold on"
"if you touch my niece tonight i will rip your balls off"

and it went on like that for 2 more hours

talked to miranda once after that. lets just say it didnt work out


so i was at bj's with my family sunday night and she was sitting at the table across from us facing me

if you know me, you know i love awkward. but come on

4 comments:

Brent said...

Sorry Luke. Where's that next number coming from?

Alli Hibb said...

i like your blogs...

and i like you...

Angerson said...

Is this the same girl we saw at BJ's? When you wouldn't move AN INCH because you were fearful she would see you?

KAT said...

ok...now it all makes sense when you stiffen up and just stared at your potato for the rest of the night