"how necessary is it for you to be talking on your blue tooth at loud and full voice while boarding the plane? none of us are happy about this" - i'm a telepathic ambassador for everyone's thoughts around me
"no no no no no, this doesn't make sense. this doesn't make sense at all! no! there are over 20 urinals, how could there be pee on the seat" - asked luke's brain
"no one likes a whistler" - luke's brain said as a man continued to whistle in the small office
every morning, i play solitaire on my phone. i figured that if i challenged my brain right when i woke up, it would "warm up" and my day could be more productive. for 2 months, i would play until i would win. this took very little time, in fact sometimes i would win 2 or 3 times a morning. those days were very productive. however, as of late, i have lost my skills. i have gone for a week without winning, and frustration is building. mainly because i end up late to wherever i'm going because i'm sitting in my room playing a video game in hopes it will make me smarter
i feel like you can tell many things about a person by how they organize their aces
every so often, i accidently draw more cards right when i saw where i could've have used the last card on the top. at these times, i let out a very audible "no!" and continue to justify why i didn't want that card anyway
i like to organize my kings when i get them. everything to the left. sure this makes me lose because my priorities change, but i'd rather lose knowing that my cards were organized like a professional. thats what really matters
"catch phrases are dumb" - luke's brain upon comparing the 2 phrases "i feel like a million bucks" and "sock it to me"
my brain has something to say. go get em
everything is ridiculous in texas
didn't realize till i was getting on the plane that my boss thought my middle name was tyler. i say it out loud and all i hear is "liv tyler". my brain wont accept that as my middle name
construction at the airport = me taking a 10 minute bus ride to my plane. it felt like the last scene in speed, and i loved it
i was in line at security check (where they xray your carry ons) and right as my bag got in, i hear someone yell "BOMB!!". it was weird because no one freaked, but every security person moved to a different position. i didn't flip out or anything, but my heart did actually stop working so he wouldn't be distracted and miss what was going on. turns out it was a drill. here's the deal. if i was a security guard and i have a gun, and someone yells bomb, i'm shooting everyone in that general direction. and i mean everyone
american airlines totally freaking sucks, but they have a totally kickass eagle as their logo
when i'm at an airport, i feel like everyone is always cutting in front of me, or attempting to cut in front of me. no matter where or what i'm doing. when i realized this, it became so apparent that i had to sit down and laugh my brains out, but some guy cut in front of me and took the seat
i just honestly feel like there are to many people working in all the wrong areas at airports. there were 3 clerks checking in 7 packed lines of anxious flyers, then i went to my gate and there were 6 people walking around picking up trash, with absolutely no trash in site. get more people doing actual necessary work, and less people doing absolutely nothing
i like to shoot people with smiles, see if i get any back. it's not a sudden thing, it's more like when i have some sort of interaction with someone. i'll wip out a big ol grin and see if they reciprocate. if they smile full blown, showing teeth, i call that a head shot. if they only grin, it's a body shot. if they don't do anything, it's a complete miss. i relate smiling with killing people. i'm ok with it
you know what, now that i think about it, every time i get on a bus, i think of the movie speed
with my middle name slip up, it got me thinking of what i could name my kid so his initials could make me laugh. i came up with these. feel free to add more
manuel esteban st. hilaire - MESH
pamela ortega st. hilaire - POSH
peter orion ryan st. hilaire - PORSH
samuel langford adams st. hilaire - SLASH
frederick ronald eugine st. hilaire - FRESH
as long as you get to the airport with plenty of time, plenty of energy, and a good attitude, traveling doesn't totally blow chunks
by semi popular request...
freeway lanes are divided up, not by lines, but by how likely/willing you are to get a speeding ticket. if your in the far left lane, you probably are really ok with a felony charge
i water the plants in my atrium so that when i put the fan on, it pulls in cool air. but now all these big plants are growing now. what an unexpected side effect from not having proper air conditioning
my parents float won the lake forest parade. i think it's because my parents love being on the float, and when you see someone that loves being on a float, you can't help but be stoked for the people on the float. free candy is ok, but a float of actual joy is rare when it's 100 million degrees out
our family has a desert tortoise. he doesn't sing or dance or do tricks, and you can't really hold him. i mean you can, but you might as well be holding a rock. he doesn't tell jokes and he wont laugh at yours. you can't cuddle with him and there's nothing that he actually does that will improve or worsen your mood. but for some reason, when i'm around him i'm happy. turtles radiate happiness. if you know someone suffering from depression, buy them a desert tortoise
while pumping gas at my favorite gas station, i started cleaning my windshield. this is when i realized my left arm goes completely limp when my right arm does all the work. i figured my left arm should at least be doing something, i don't want to be raising any lazy limbs. if you drove by the lake forest chevron at 7pm yesterday, you would've seen a man cleaning his windshield with his right arm and his left arm giving a thumbs up to the right arm
while driving with dom today, i accidently flipped the radio station to a japanese-ish talk show program. unbeknownst to both of us as we drove, we were listening for 20 minutes of this without realizing we had no idea what they were saying. even though i can't understand the program, i feel smarter with it on. i vowed that i would not change the channel for 24 hours and see if i get brilliant. also it's quite fun driving around the spectrum with it cranked. 106.3 = saigon talk radio. 그게 최선입니다!!
usually would twitter this stuff, but i need more space now
i went running the other night at the swamp of a creek by my house and got molested by thousands of mosquitoes. i had to run fast to keep them off me. it was like that movie crank only with bugs and no sex, drugs, car chase scenes, guns, or uninteresting dialogue
i have bug bites on my feet. i am content with having scars from scratching them because scratching feels so much better then telling myself i actually care about having scars on my feet
dominic feels the same way
i have never felt the need to argue with a movie more often then when i watch snakes on a plane
i'm playing in big church this weekend for the first time ever. i hope the camera guys that get all up in my business when i'm trying to play bass get some good camera angles, because i'm sure that i'll accidently elbow a fool in the eye by the end of the weekend. weigh out your options camera operator = bass player close up action shot vs. life long eye patch
note to everyone = honestly, i kinda want to see a camera guy with an eye patch. bring some flavor to the video team at saddleback church, they sure do need it
we walked up to play the first song for the 430 service (the first service of the weekend) and all i could think of was how many dirty words i could say out loud to the drummer before we started
7, by the way is the answer
there wasn't really a good dinner provided last night, but there were small bags of chips lying around. i now have 6 mini bags of cheetoes in the car, and 4 lays standards
i went to the court the other day to settle a ticket, and i had to see the judge. first time i'd actually seen someone get a ticket for smoking marijuana. also first time seeing them in front of a judge. also first time seeing 7 consecutive people seeing the judge for smoking marijuana. also first time seeing an old guy arguing with the judge about his marijuana ticket. however not the first time seeing a guy get a ticket for having no license or registration drive home from the court house. yay california
sidekick to the face
if one of my friends every got seriously injured on a trampoline, of course i would laugh. i would also describe him to my friends as hilariously injured
i went to the t-mobile store to check some stuff out and check why my phone was being stupid. this is the real events of the.....event
-hey, so my phone doesn't display random names on text messages, it'll only show the number. solution?
*girl behind counter takes my phone*
-yea, this exact thing totally happened to my sidekick to. i have no idea how to fix it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
-so...how'd you eventually fix it?
-oh, i didn't. still does it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
+in my brain= well if you couldn't figure it out on your sidekick.... then what are you doing on my phone+
-ummm.... can i have my phone back?
*most awkward phone handover in the history of ever*
alright probably high school kid on sidewalk riding a bmx bike, it is to freakin hot to be wearing those long pants and that beanie. heat exhaustion isn't the way to being popular. man up and wear some jean shorts
i realized a terrible terrible thing the other night. if i leave my windows open, those possums i see at night all the time might climb into my car. how the frick have i never realized this. i don't care about thieves, sitting down in my car and having a possum hiss at me from the back seat is AAAHAHHHHHHHHh
i am literally never thinking arbys
i wonder what the percentage of girls in the world put a rose on their dash
my good friend allison hibbard gave me an eagle statue a few weeks ago. it is as majestic as the constitution itself. problem is, is that i have no idea where to put the thing. it's to good to put in my room, i'll barely ever see it. solution?
i strapped him into my passenger seat and named him troy aikman
troy hates when i break the law, and hates a messy car. he's been in there since he entered my life, and i don't plan on him moving soon
everything in moderation is totally fine, including victory dances and calling out chumps when you see em
sometimes i like to pick a youtube video, any youtube video, and see how many comments i can scroll down before someone cusses. i think my record is 5
i wore white pants today. i like em. but i'm actually just excited for the day when i don't wear them as much and i turn them into jean shorts. it's like the equivalent of a farmer looking at a cow and being excited for steak burger fridays, so he buys the cow. or like when a normal american man sees a tree and gets excited for a possible new baseball bat, so he cuts down the entire tree and burns whatever he doesn't use. or when PETA sees a dead dog on the side of the road and gets excited for all the people they're going to yell at and demean for having absolutely nothing to do with actual animal cruelty
me and a bunch of friends went to "cherry on top" tonight. if you don't know, "cherry on top" is just like every other yogurt place in the world, i don't care what anyone says, it's all pretty much the same.
anyways, travis wanted diet coke, so we went to mcdonalds. i suddenly realized i would way rather have mcdonalds then stupid yogurt.
after sitting back down in "cherry on yogurtland" with my large big and tasty meal, multiple people followed suit and bolted for mcdonalds. it's not about setting trends, it's about realizing that mcdonalds may be "unhealthy" but is still just so freakin good.
when you eat food in front of people that would rather be having your food than their stupid yogurt, a look creeps into their faces that can only be described as "regret"
the other day i sat down and ate 2 big and tasty burgers and a large fry in 10 minutes. this may seem disgusting to certain people, but to me it was both satisfying, fulfilling, and inspiring and satisfying. and whatever word can be used to describe that feeling when you win at something, but it's not a competition. like lifting the really heavy box by yourself, or jumping onto the couch from far away and landing exactly how you wanted, or looking at a plate of food and having people say "oh you can't possibly eat that much, oh my gosh, there's no way, i'm so annoying" and then you saying "watch this" and 10 minutes later doing a double fist pump but then calming down because you don't want to rile up the innards after that pile of grease you just devoured
when i die, i want God to have a count of how many chips i ate in my lifetime, but it all in a pile, and see what actual mountains aren't taller than it
haven't been blogging much, duh
here's a reason for my lack of blogs. the realization that making videos is so freakin fun. here's my first edit/produced masterpiece. enjoy, and spread the word
table for glasses of orange juice
mustangs love taking turns faster than "the man" wants them to
spiders have always loved the fact they can sneak into whatever car i have and party their little brains out when i'm asleep
for years, ralphs has been my main supplier for blank cds. but not anymore. the office supplies aisle has now become 100% useless to me
when i'm carrying my laundry to the washer, i always walk backwards so i don't drop and leave any socks behind. being efficient in my clothe washing is more important to me than the potential hazard of tripping and splitting my head open. laundry baskets are for nerds
i wonder how loud a butterfly would scream every time someone catches them by their wings
with minimal reception, my phone will receive text messages, but in the exact same spot, it will refuse to send them. my phone actually decided if given the chance, it would rather receive then give. how do you teach nokia products to be like scrooge in the last 20 minutes of christmas carol
i share my bathroom with my sister ange. there are 4 loofas in the shower. i don't use loofas. what the heck ange. girls are weird
these fell out of my mustache
my life got about 85% more frustrating when my cat realized it could sit in my lap when i am using my computer
when i saw the shamwow commercial, i actually said out loud "holy s***"
me and tom decided to drive to mt baldy the other night. on the way, after realizing traffic exists on the 91 (its rare), we decided to visit a friend working at a church out there, which led to working and helping him out. after about 45 minutes of setting up AV equipment, we decided to leave and get food. we traveled 45 minutes to go work for free and eat chick fill a. worth it
my sister ange was making guacamole a while ago. she used more than just avocados. i learned that day that guacamole is complicated
whats up dream car. it's a dodge rampage. it just sounds so intense
i wonder at what age did i realize that the big stall is a handicapped stall. it couldn't have been before 18
when i'm engaged, i think i'll fake being paralyzed for a little bit. just to see if my fiance will wipe my tush. if she does, then i marry her. if she refuses, then it was never meant to be
my other goal for my wedding day is to make every man woman and child at the ceremony to cry when i read my vows. but the thing is, i need to make sure i don't cry when saying them. so i need to prepare. i figure the best way to prepare is like this-
1st step - watch armageddon and not cry at the end
2nd step - read the end of "where the red fern grows" to my mom and not cry
3rd and final step - watch puppies get put to sleep and not cry
after all that, i should be a hollow shell of a human being, which is perfect for my new bride
if church had longer, better, softer carpet, i bet more people would come. church carpet always sucks. lets get some brown shag up in there and see what happens
hey, i call my mom, she picks up about as often as i do
so i have multiple stories. this will be a somewhat long blog, i'm sorry i guess. but i don't think i should really apologize. manners don't make sense sometimes
i'm working for this company called atema partners right now, and what we're doing is alot of hanging out, but partially doing av stuff for a huge conference at the venetian hotel in vegas. i can't give you the name of the company that's holding the conference, so lets call them "that doctor company"
lets cut to the chase. lets fox news this. every year they have a private concert for their company, and they don't cheap out on the bands. 3 years ago - counting crows. 2 years ago - faith hill. last year - matchbox 20 (i know, 1 year to late)
so this year they had 2, and they invited our company to come to it. they keep the band secret just for the fun of it. so we spread rumors about what band it was. so much fun
thursday night they had the show
first act. a comedian. not stoked. its that frank guy from frank tv. i didn't really care that much for him so i left and did some work.
second act
maroon 5
no joke, freakin full band maroon 5 playing this private event
i don't realize how much i like certain big bands until i suddenly am watching them for free at a private event
after the show, i hang with our company dudes, then get to bed around 2am. i get in bed, turn on the tv and see judge dredd on so i put that on. i'm going to switch styles of telling this next story so i can explain it correctly
sleeping
fire alarm. it's loud. and annoying
geez that's loud, should i get up. nawwwww
alarm continues
yea i should get up. i'll call tom, see if it's going off on his floor to
pick up phone, look around and realize
he wont be able to hear me in here, i should go out in the hall
step out in the hall
door slams behind me
i look around and it just slowly dawns on me that i'm only in my boxers, and all i have is my phone, and the door is locked
well that was dumb
second time i look around is to see if anyone was in the hall, i look at my phone to see what time it is. lots of looking
230am
ok, i'll call tom and maybe he has an extra key to my room
i know he doesn't but my mind is still resting on my pillow
beep hey tom beeeeep
what
is the beeeeep fire alarm going off in your beeeeeep in your room? beeeeep
no. it's not. why are you calling me
beeeeeeppppp i'm locked outside my room beeeeeepppp in my boxers
hahahahaha
*click*
shoot. well i need to find a phone and call the front desk
fire alarm continues
lady comes up to me
hi! whats going on?
i'm locked out of my room
i look at her and see her empty hands and no open door in sight
did you bring your room key
shocked look on lady's face
5 minutes later we're sitting on the floor waiting for the operator to not be busy and talk to us
2 minutes later, me and lin (her name was lin, and she had 5 cocktails and was not sober) are standing in front of our own doors waiting for security
vegas sucks
security walks up, opens up my door
sir, i need to see your id to make sure this is your room
oh yea bro, for sure bro, let me get it bro, hold on
confused by my own choice in method of conversation
security walks in to wait
door slams
knock on the door
we exchange looks of confusion
security opens the door
old lady standing there
whats going on?
oh, don't worry maam, its - -
hey, why are you in his room?
she points to security, and to me as she says this
realization that i'm still in my boxers
security reads the awkwardness. not quickly, but the turtle still finished the race
oh maam, uhhhh, its, uhhh, i'm just letting him in his room, nothing's happening
old lady thinks i'm an arson
vegas sucks
security leaves
i decide to finish judge dredd. why not, i'm awake anyway
sylvester says "guilty" as he shoots a guy
this movie rules
i read somewhere that if your hotel room is super dry, then you should hang a wet towel in front of the air vent. i couldn't hang anything in front of the opening, so i just soaked some towels and hucked them over some chairs. it didn't do anything. stupid book full of lies
there's a little "g" on my phone when i use the internet on it. when i lose connection while i'm still on the internet, it'll put a slash through the "g". whenever this happens, i realized that i always say in my head - shoot, i lost my g
i just found the man i hate more then terrorism
robby takac
bass player from goo goo dolls
he is terrible. in every way. i can't stand it. if you don't believe me,
his myspace
he is continually doing horrible songs on all their records. try listening to "january friend" off of dizzy up the girl
blllllleeeeeeeeeecccchchhhh
lavo lounge booyah
staff party on the top lounge of the lavo lounge. open bar, buffet and a dude in the bathroom that hands you towels after you wash your hands. so much fun
becker is on at least 3 different stations at all times on vegas tv. vegas folk love becker. and becker loves vegas folk
i spent an hour in the shower watching sumo wrestling. only in vegas
i haven't seen the sun in 2 days. only in vegas
i have stepped on everything in my hotel room. not even kidding, i walked in and jumped on the beds, stepped on all the tables, jumped on the couch, stood on all the chairs and ran across the coffee table. i then turned on the water in both sinks, the bathtub, and the shower all at once, then flushed the toilet over and over. then i turned the air conditioning on full blast at 50 degrees. i then mooned the city from my 29th floor hotel room. only in vegas
i have to be up early for work, i better to get to bed. uuuuggghghhghgrhrghhh
*this last part is for david hughes*
"hey son, i've got some bad news. your mom and i are getting a divo-"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNN FUUUUUUURRRRRRREEEEEENNNNNNZZZZZAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yea i made it
so i made it to vegas.
i've been trying to do a video blog and post it. but when your camera's screen doesn't work, things are difficult. didn't have the right cable at first, now i have to download all the freakin pictures on it because i can't delete them on the camera without the screen working, and now i don't even know if the battery will last because i don't remember the last time i charged it
this is frustrating, but we'll see
heading to veegas
i woke up on the couch today. forgot i slept here. got woken up by the bird talking and laughing. then realized that my mom was also talking. then double realized that, no it was in fact still the bird. then triple realized that my sister ange was talking. then 4th realized that my sister is not in town right now. that bird is good
i'm heading to vegas. we're leaving for the airport in 2 hours. i still have to-
1. shower
2. get dressed
3. pack
4. go pick up a check
5. go cash that check so i have money in vegas
6. go pick up a pair of jeans from H&M
7. find a pair of kakis to wear in vegas
8. print out all my travel information
9. realize that it's raining outside
10. booyah
ok, i better get going, my brain is starting to fight me
labels for this post: e.g. scooters, vacation, fall
you don't realize how important your tailbone is until you sit down weird and your belt bruises it, and your limping for multiple days and lose at a game of tip-it with travis and dave
there's 3 levels of boredom for me
level 1 - the "i'm choosing to be bored right now so i'm ok" stage.
~this usually involves turning on the tv, and snacking on just about anything that i can get my idle devil hands on
level 2 - the "being content with watching anything on tv, absolutely no requirements for the program" stage
~i'm generally drifting in and out of a nap for the entirety of this stage
~i'm way to lazy to turn on lights as the sun starts to set, so it gets pretty pathetic looking after a while
~my body has grown weak to accept usually easy tasks, such as talking on the phone, or removing the other sock that i forgot to take off when i sat on the couch
level 3 - the super gittery "i'm freaking out and need to get out of here now" stage
~at this point i'm beyond watching just tv, i need to multi-task. laundry is started, i'm texting over 5 people at once, playing some kind of instrument, and planning my finances for the coming weeks
~disneyland passes get purchased in this stage
i'm watching star trek right now. i never watch this show. obama is certainly changing things
i tried watching the inauguration speech on my DVR a few minutes ago. it chose to record 8 hours of gems tv instead. stupid technology
yeeeeoooo
so a good friend of mine decided to let me borrow her old computer for a bit while she is in africa hanging out. besides the fact that i'm super thankful, the other fact is that i can blog way more frequently. awesome
first thing i did with this computer was go to the refinery and use the free wi fi. i sat down and a huge group of visitors came up behind me as i was turning on the computer. i quickly realized that they would all see any image that was the background as the computer loaded up, and i had no idea what it was. quick prayers were definately answered. no awkward background pics
i then opened itunes to find crystal lewis albums in bulk. thank you allison. the first song i listened to was definately "come just as you are".
personal pet peeve - not having that "2 finger scroll" thing activated on laptops. it kills me. allison, i'm sorry, but i'm turning it back on
and 5 minutes later, i still can't figure out how to turn it back on. you win for now powerbook
still blasting crystal lewis in my headphones
i want to already be awesome with a butterfly knife. also every sega game ever, and backflips
if you didn't know already, costco kicked me out of the club. sucks. it felt weird, i've never been kicked out of a club. i wonder how it feels to get kicked out of other clubs like a chess club or a bowling club or the AAA club or AA club.
every so often i'll call someone and by the time they pick up, i'll have forgotten the purpose for the call. at this point i generally look around real quick and just ask the first question that comes to mind from my surroundings. ex. "oh hi mom, uhhhh...can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home? oh ok great"
just realized i've been listening to christmas music for the past 3 songs. turning it off, and going outside. it's to nice of a day out to spend it inside on a computer listening to crystal lewis telling me she'll be home for christmas
