going home from Luke St.Hilaire on Vimeo.
sidekick to the face
if one of my friends every got seriously injured on a trampoline, of course i would laugh. i would also describe him to my friends as hilariously injured
i went to the t-mobile store to check some stuff out and check why my phone was being stupid. this is the real events of the.....event
-hey, so my phone doesn't display random names on text messages, it'll only show the number. solution?
*girl behind counter takes my phone*
-yea, this exact thing totally happened to my sidekick to. i have no idea how to fix it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
-so...how'd you eventually fix it?
-oh, i didn't. still does it
*continues to look through my phone, opening up various menus*
+in my brain= well if you couldn't figure it out on your sidekick.... then what are you doing on my phone+
-ummm.... can i have my phone back?
*most awkward phone handover in the history of ever*
alright probably high school kid on sidewalk riding a bmx bike, it is to freakin hot to be wearing those long pants and that beanie. heat exhaustion isn't the way to being popular. man up and wear some jean shorts
i realized a terrible terrible thing the other night. if i leave my windows open, those possums i see at night all the time might climb into my car. how the frick have i never realized this. i don't care about thieves, sitting down in my car and having a possum hiss at me from the back seat is AAAHAHHHHHHHHh
i am literally never thinking arbys
i wonder what the percentage of girls in the world put a rose on their dash
my good friend allison hibbard gave me an eagle statue a few weeks ago. it is as majestic as the constitution itself. problem is, is that i have no idea where to put the thing. it's to good to put in my room, i'll barely ever see it. solution?
i strapped him into my passenger seat and named him troy aikman
troy hates when i break the law, and hates a messy car. he's been in there since he entered my life, and i don't plan on him moving soon
everything in moderation is totally fine, including victory dances and calling out chumps when you see em
sometimes i like to pick a youtube video, any youtube video, and see how many comments i can scroll down before someone cusses. i think my record is 5
i wore white pants today. i like em. but i'm actually just excited for the day when i don't wear them as much and i turn them into jean shorts. it's like the equivalent of a farmer looking at a cow and being excited for steak burger fridays, so he buys the cow. or like when a normal american man sees a tree and gets excited for a possible new baseball bat, so he cuts down the entire tree and burns whatever he doesn't use. or when PETA sees a dead dog on the side of the road and gets excited for all the people they're going to yell at and demean for having absolutely nothing to do with actual animal cruelty
me and a bunch of friends went to "cherry on top" tonight. if you don't know, "cherry on top" is just like every other yogurt place in the world, i don't care what anyone says, it's all pretty much the same.
anyways, travis wanted diet coke, so we went to mcdonalds. i suddenly realized i would way rather have mcdonalds then stupid yogurt.
after sitting back down in "cherry on yogurtland" with my large big and tasty meal, multiple people followed suit and bolted for mcdonalds. it's not about setting trends, it's about realizing that mcdonalds may be "unhealthy" but is still just so freakin good.
when you eat food in front of people that would rather be having your food than their stupid yogurt, a look creeps into their faces that can only be described as "regret"
the other day i sat down and ate 2 big and tasty burgers and a large fry in 10 minutes. this may seem disgusting to certain people, but to me it was both satisfying, fulfilling, and inspiring and satisfying. and whatever word can be used to describe that feeling when you win at something, but it's not a competition. like lifting the really heavy box by yourself, or jumping onto the couch from far away and landing exactly how you wanted, or looking at a plate of food and having people say "oh you can't possibly eat that much, oh my gosh, there's no way, i'm so annoying" and then you saying "watch this" and 10 minutes later doing a double fist pump but then calming down because you don't want to rile up the innards after that pile of grease you just devoured
when i die, i want God to have a count of how many chips i ate in my lifetime, but it all in a pile, and see what actual mountains aren't taller than it
haven't been blogging much, duh
here's a reason for my lack of blogs. the realization that making videos is so freakin fun. here's my first edit/produced masterpiece. enjoy, and spread the word
table for glasses of orange juice
mustangs love taking turns faster than "the man" wants them to
spiders have always loved the fact they can sneak into whatever car i have and party their little brains out when i'm asleep
for years, ralphs has been my main supplier for blank cds. but not anymore. the office supplies aisle has now become 100% useless to me
when i'm carrying my laundry to the washer, i always walk backwards so i don't drop and leave any socks behind. being efficient in my clothe washing is more important to me than the potential hazard of tripping and splitting my head open. laundry baskets are for nerds
i wonder how loud a butterfly would scream every time someone catches them by their wings
with minimal reception, my phone will receive text messages, but in the exact same spot, it will refuse to send them. my phone actually decided if given the chance, it would rather receive then give. how do you teach nokia products to be like scrooge in the last 20 minutes of christmas carol
i share my bathroom with my sister ange. there are 4 loofas in the shower. i don't use loofas. what the heck ange. girls are weird
these fell out of my mustache
my life got about 85% more frustrating when my cat realized it could sit in my lap when i am using my computer
when i saw the shamwow commercial, i actually said out loud "holy s***"
me and tom decided to drive to mt baldy the other night. on the way, after realizing traffic exists on the 91 (its rare), we decided to visit a friend working at a church out there, which led to working and helping him out. after about 45 minutes of setting up AV equipment, we decided to leave and get food. we traveled 45 minutes to go work for free and eat chick fill a. worth it
my sister ange was making guacamole a while ago. she used more than just avocados. i learned that day that guacamole is complicated
whats up dream car. it's a dodge rampage. it just sounds so intense
i wonder at what age did i realize that the big stall is a handicapped stall. it couldn't have been before 18
when i'm engaged, i think i'll fake being paralyzed for a little bit. just to see if my fiance will wipe my tush. if she does, then i marry her. if she refuses, then it was never meant to be
my other goal for my wedding day is to make every man woman and child at the ceremony to cry when i read my vows. but the thing is, i need to make sure i don't cry when saying them. so i need to prepare. i figure the best way to prepare is like this-
1st step - watch armageddon and not cry at the end
2nd step - read the end of "where the red fern grows" to my mom and not cry
3rd and final step - watch puppies get put to sleep and not cry
after all that, i should be a hollow shell of a human being, which is perfect for my new bride
if church had longer, better, softer carpet, i bet more people would come. church carpet always sucks. lets get some brown shag up in there and see what happens
hey, i call my mom, she picks up about as often as i do
so i have multiple stories. this will be a somewhat long blog, i'm sorry i guess. but i don't think i should really apologize. manners don't make sense sometimes
i'm working for this company called atema partners right now, and what we're doing is alot of hanging out, but partially doing av stuff for a huge conference at the venetian hotel in vegas. i can't give you the name of the company that's holding the conference, so lets call them "that doctor company"
lets cut to the chase. lets fox news this. every year they have a private concert for their company, and they don't cheap out on the bands. 3 years ago - counting crows. 2 years ago - faith hill. last year - matchbox 20 (i know, 1 year to late)
so this year they had 2, and they invited our company to come to it. they keep the band secret just for the fun of it. so we spread rumors about what band it was. so much fun
thursday night they had the show
first act. a comedian. not stoked. its that frank guy from frank tv. i didn't really care that much for him so i left and did some work.
second act
maroon 5
no joke, freakin full band maroon 5 playing this private event
i don't realize how much i like certain big bands until i suddenly am watching them for free at a private event
after the show, i hang with our company dudes, then get to bed around 2am. i get in bed, turn on the tv and see judge dredd on so i put that on. i'm going to switch styles of telling this next story so i can explain it correctly
sleeping
fire alarm. it's loud. and annoying
geez that's loud, should i get up. nawwwww
alarm continues
yea i should get up. i'll call tom, see if it's going off on his floor to
pick up phone, look around and realize
he wont be able to hear me in here, i should go out in the hall
step out in the hall
door slams behind me
i look around and it just slowly dawns on me that i'm only in my boxers, and all i have is my phone, and the door is locked
well that was dumb
second time i look around is to see if anyone was in the hall, i look at my phone to see what time it is. lots of looking
230am
ok, i'll call tom and maybe he has an extra key to my room
i know he doesn't but my mind is still resting on my pillow
beep hey tom beeeeep
what
is the beeeeep fire alarm going off in your beeeeeep in your room? beeeeep
no. it's not. why are you calling me
beeeeeeppppp i'm locked outside my room beeeeeepppp in my boxers
hahahahaha
*click*
shoot. well i need to find a phone and call the front desk
fire alarm continues
lady comes up to me
hi! whats going on?
i'm locked out of my room
i look at her and see her empty hands and no open door in sight
did you bring your room key
shocked look on lady's face
5 minutes later we're sitting on the floor waiting for the operator to not be busy and talk to us
2 minutes later, me and lin (her name was lin, and she had 5 cocktails and was not sober) are standing in front of our own doors waiting for security
vegas sucks
security walks up, opens up my door
sir, i need to see your id to make sure this is your room
oh yea bro, for sure bro, let me get it bro, hold on
confused by my own choice in method of conversation
security walks in to wait
door slams
knock on the door
we exchange looks of confusion
security opens the door
old lady standing there
whats going on?
oh, don't worry maam, its - -
hey, why are you in his room?
she points to security, and to me as she says this
realization that i'm still in my boxers
security reads the awkwardness. not quickly, but the turtle still finished the race
oh maam, uhhhh, its, uhhh, i'm just letting him in his room, nothing's happening
old lady thinks i'm an arson
vegas sucks
security leaves
i decide to finish judge dredd. why not, i'm awake anyway
sylvester says "guilty" as he shoots a guy
this movie rules
i read somewhere that if your hotel room is super dry, then you should hang a wet towel in front of the air vent. i couldn't hang anything in front of the opening, so i just soaked some towels and hucked them over some chairs. it didn't do anything. stupid book full of lies
there's a little "g" on my phone when i use the internet on it. when i lose connection while i'm still on the internet, it'll put a slash through the "g". whenever this happens, i realized that i always say in my head - shoot, i lost my g
i just found the man i hate more then terrorism
robby takac
bass player from goo goo dolls
he is terrible. in every way. i can't stand it. if you don't believe me,
his myspace
he is continually doing horrible songs on all their records. try listening to "january friend" off of dizzy up the girl
blllllleeeeeeeeeecccchchhhh
lavo lounge booyah
staff party on the top lounge of the lavo lounge. open bar, buffet and a dude in the bathroom that hands you towels after you wash your hands. so much fun
becker is on at least 3 different stations at all times on vegas tv. vegas folk love becker. and becker loves vegas folk
i spent an hour in the shower watching sumo wrestling. only in vegas
i haven't seen the sun in 2 days. only in vegas
i have stepped on everything in my hotel room. not even kidding, i walked in and jumped on the beds, stepped on all the tables, jumped on the couch, stood on all the chairs and ran across the coffee table. i then turned on the water in both sinks, the bathtub, and the shower all at once, then flushed the toilet over and over. then i turned the air conditioning on full blast at 50 degrees. i then mooned the city from my 29th floor hotel room. only in vegas
i have to be up early for work, i better to get to bed. uuuuggghghhghgrhrghhh
*this last part is for david hughes*
"hey son, i've got some bad news. your mom and i are getting a divo-"
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNN FUUUUUUURRRRRRREEEEEENNNNNNZZZZZAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
yea i made it
so i made it to vegas.
i've been trying to do a video blog and post it. but when your camera's screen doesn't work, things are difficult. didn't have the right cable at first, now i have to download all the freakin pictures on it because i can't delete them on the camera without the screen working, and now i don't even know if the battery will last because i don't remember the last time i charged it
this is frustrating, but we'll see
heading to veegas
i woke up on the couch today. forgot i slept here. got woken up by the bird talking and laughing. then realized that my mom was also talking. then double realized that, no it was in fact still the bird. then triple realized that my sister ange was talking. then 4th realized that my sister is not in town right now. that bird is good
i'm heading to vegas. we're leaving for the airport in 2 hours. i still have to-
1. shower
2. get dressed
3. pack
4. go pick up a check
5. go cash that check so i have money in vegas
6. go pick up a pair of jeans from H&M
7. find a pair of kakis to wear in vegas
8. print out all my travel information
9. realize that it's raining outside
10. booyah
ok, i better get going, my brain is starting to fight me
labels for this post: e.g. scooters, vacation, fall
you don't realize how important your tailbone is until you sit down weird and your belt bruises it, and your limping for multiple days and lose at a game of tip-it with travis and dave
there's 3 levels of boredom for me
level 1 - the "i'm choosing to be bored right now so i'm ok" stage.
~this usually involves turning on the tv, and snacking on just about anything that i can get my idle devil hands on
level 2 - the "being content with watching anything on tv, absolutely no requirements for the program" stage
~i'm generally drifting in and out of a nap for the entirety of this stage
~i'm way to lazy to turn on lights as the sun starts to set, so it gets pretty pathetic looking after a while
~my body has grown weak to accept usually easy tasks, such as talking on the phone, or removing the other sock that i forgot to take off when i sat on the couch
level 3 - the super gittery "i'm freaking out and need to get out of here now" stage
~at this point i'm beyond watching just tv, i need to multi-task. laundry is started, i'm texting over 5 people at once, playing some kind of instrument, and planning my finances for the coming weeks
~disneyland passes get purchased in this stage
i'm watching star trek right now. i never watch this show. obama is certainly changing things
i tried watching the inauguration speech on my DVR a few minutes ago. it chose to record 8 hours of gems tv instead. stupid technology
yeeeeoooo
so a good friend of mine decided to let me borrow her old computer for a bit while she is in africa hanging out. besides the fact that i'm super thankful, the other fact is that i can blog way more frequently. awesome
first thing i did with this computer was go to the refinery and use the free wi fi. i sat down and a huge group of visitors came up behind me as i was turning on the computer. i quickly realized that they would all see any image that was the background as the computer loaded up, and i had no idea what it was. quick prayers were definately answered. no awkward background pics
i then opened itunes to find crystal lewis albums in bulk. thank you allison. the first song i listened to was definately "come just as you are".
personal pet peeve - not having that "2 finger scroll" thing activated on laptops. it kills me. allison, i'm sorry, but i'm turning it back on
and 5 minutes later, i still can't figure out how to turn it back on. you win for now powerbook
still blasting crystal lewis in my headphones
i want to already be awesome with a butterfly knife. also every sega game ever, and backflips
if you didn't know already, costco kicked me out of the club. sucks. it felt weird, i've never been kicked out of a club. i wonder how it feels to get kicked out of other clubs like a chess club or a bowling club or the AAA club or AA club.
every so often i'll call someone and by the time they pick up, i'll have forgotten the purpose for the call. at this point i generally look around real quick and just ask the first question that comes to mind from my surroundings. ex. "oh hi mom, uhhhh...can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home? oh ok great"
just realized i've been listening to christmas music for the past 3 songs. turning it off, and going outside. it's to nice of a day out to spend it inside on a computer listening to crystal lewis telling me she'll be home for christmas
tell them that the house is not for sale because the furnace is broke
my mom has a group of santas in the dinning room. they are very skinny, wooden santas. she calls them "the lord of the santas" and laughs every time she says it. i love my mom
i could be 80 years old and still think hiccups and farts are hilarious
i was watching scrubs the other day and it made me wonder what my tough biker name would be. like dragon king, or hells boot, or chainsaw king. but i'd probably just end up being gecko slayer
when i'm driving home from work, i can't shake the feeling that i have tons and tons of groceries in my car
oh yea, if you didn't know already...
booooyah. i work at costco. and as a costco employee i get to realize things like;
most common combination of food is: bananas, nuts, and avocados
hello kitty boom boxes are this years "hot item" at costco
costco employees love the lottery
costco shoppers love their mustaches to the max
just some quick ones
helicopters circling light my curiosity faster then a california wild fire. i could be on my way to a job interview, see a helicopter cicling and not get a job that day because i'm driving around town chasing chaos
i'm not ok with toilet paper commercials
30 second bloggggggin
whenever me and my sisters run out of toothpaste, we always go into our parents bedroom and take theirs. whenever they see it gone, they know to get some more. this still applies when we are moved out
war may not be the answer, but neither are negative bumper stickers and prius's
it kills me that mary kate and ashley olson sold over 800 thousand copies of this-brother for sale
i've been thinking of getting a turtle tattoo. nikki wants to call it a tat-turtle
i had wing stop for breakfast the other day. no regrets 08
getting ready for the music video
you have to prepare for these things. luckily i have a good friend named gabe to help me out
post on mypsace and facebooks and blogs worldwide
Refinery Episode 1
Camera slowly zooms out of a manly yet conservative mustache. slowly reveals taylor ishii standing in all his glory at the entrance to the majestic, urban, kind-of-reminds-me-of-a-tank, building which we like to call....
THE REFINERY
our hero, taylor, is working tonight, also known as "ishii-ing". his job is to generally rule the refinery and make sure the hooligans don't wreck the place.
crave has just finished and the always incredibly indecisive college-ins are beginning the discussion of "where to go now"
typical crave guy (TCG, but not typical college guy, they are completely different) - "we should go to in-n-out"
girl 1 - "no, we went last week. lets go to sushi! i know a place. we should go there because i'm familiar with it"
girl 2 - "but by the time we finish discussing this and leave it will probably be closed. hahahaha!!"
all three together - "lol!!"
taylor looks at camera and rolls his eyes in typical taylor fashion
mute math - "the typicaaaaaallll"
meanwhile every other person in the refinery is having pretty much the exact same discussion, so lets go upstairs
taylor looks at camera - "here let me show you my crib"
camera does weird repeat shot thing that always makes luke sick
luke - "yea it does"
upstairs we see ping pong tables, billiard tables, pool tables, pocket billiard tables, spa tables, regular tables, fable tables, maple tables, coffee tables, oak tables, end tables, pizza tables, poker tables, joker tables, black jack tables, flap jack tables, weird high tables that are part of a beam of some sort tables, glass tables on top of car tire tables, and chairs.
2 hours later
Oh no! the crave people are yet to decide on anything at all!
TCG - "so, i still think we should hit up in-n-out"
girl 1 - "no way! lets get sushi, i haven't had sushi in so long!"
girl 2 - "hahaha, its closed now! how funny is that?!?"
group - "lol!!"
david - "lets get poolside, right now"
just then we hear a trumpet, a guitar, and that weird fat guitar thingy that i think is a bass, play that song that is usually at the beginning of spanish movies
taylor - "they have come. they have come to play soccer. and holy crap they have jerseys"
yes, taylor is correct. all the workers that he invited to play a pick-up game of soccer have come. camera pans across every one of them, all wearing mexico jerseys, all with thick burly mustaches, and all with generations of naturally skilled soccer skills in their blood. these are the men that play soccer
and these are also the men that love destroying young college-ins at their national past time.
taylor needs a team. and fast! what are his options??
1. ask crave-ers to play
pro- people on the team
con= it'll take them another 2 hours to decide if they even want to start thinking about maybe playing
2. play by himself
pro - he can start the game and maybe only lose by 40 points
con- years of counseling to convince himself that he knows how to actually play soccer
3. cancel the game
pro - no game, no worries
con- angry mexican workers staring him down for the rest of his years, and constant jokes made in spanish
4. run away
pro- get to live in florida
con- have to live in florida
everyone in the refinery - "ewwwww!!!!"
oh what will the iish do??
tune in next time to
crave episodes!
i mean...
THE REFINERY
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