top 26 favorite letters

1. l
2. s
3. r
4. j
5. c
6. q
7. d
8. a
9. h
10. b
11. e
12. y
13. t
14. m
15. f
16. n
17. i
18. u
19. v
20. o
21. g
22. k
23. p
24. x
25. w
26. z

z sucks. you'll always be last z

just a little guy

just saw the glory of christmas. here are some things everyone should know

1. keep an eye out for that one rebellious horse that always poops on the way up
2. there is an animal that follows the baby camel that isnt real. it looks like a llama, but its a baby with poodle-esk fluffy hair. i'm calling it a "lloople" until someone proves to me its a real creature
3. a joseph look-alike is the one that scoots around the stage picking up the animal droppings. give him a thumbs up if you can, he has a tough role and needs our support
4. 50% of the people in this world will be terrified of the angels that fly above your head. i am one of those people. so heres a clue, if people start looking up, immediately scroll through the pictures on your cell phone. when you hear the song end, its safe to start paying attention again
5. that one song after "mary did you know" is sung by; a boy or a girl? good freakin luck
6. someone always trips. make a game of trying to guess who it'll be
7. if your a man and haven't seen it, and are about to, be forewarned - there is a butt load of ballet. keep reminding yourself of your unchallenged manhood and heterosexuality
8. it isnt over when Jesus is born. that happens like 4 and 1/2 seconds in so don't get up to leave. that old lady manning the isles will rip your eyes out
9. the kings are followed by a bunch of people carrying the most random assortment of crap. don't waste your time trying to make sense of it
10. make sure to have your camera with you after the whole thing is done, because you can get your picture taken with the roman soldiers

hey secret santa, here you go

this is my christmas list for my secret santa
if anyone thinks i want/need something else, you let me know

cd's
pedro the lion - control
pedro the lion - achilles heel
matchbox twenty - exile on mainstream
sigur ros - hvarf heim

ugraded memory card for that camera mom and bill might get me

3d doritos cooler ranch


any ideas anyone?

i'm just sayin, it evens out

and this is what i had for breakfast this morning





so what have you had this morning

God, its me, janet

sometimes when i walk into people's houses at work, i get to experience true 80's/early 90's photography at its best by simply looking on the walls. you know this era by the simple fact that hair takes up over 60% of the picture


we were working at this one house, and every time i walked into the room where the customer was, he would sigh. like a "i cant believe how much these guys are charging me and i'm so exhausted from working all day and i cant believe they're taking so much time i hope he notices this" sigh. i noticed this early and tested it constantly, and without fail it would happen. so one time i walked into the room realllll quiet and he didnt hear me coming, and i started working on something and he turned, saw me, and sighed. i'm on to your game sigh guy

church donut people, please dont judge me. these other two are friends. and i know i dropped that glaze, but havent you ever heard of the five second rule? and besides, like i said, its for a friend

ok fancy pants. your car changes color as you drive by because of some special paint. big deal. you picked the ugliest colors ever. purple and green? seriously? gross

you still suck at guitar no matter how good you are at a video game

every time i walk through home depot i say to myself over and over "i could need that"

i love that my mom still says "holy smokes!"

my mom wanted to look at christmas lights so we all got in the car and started driving. my mom took us to TBN then straight home after

someone was bugging me one day, and i was going to say "hey your driving me crazy". but then i realized thats a little extreme so i said "you drive me frustrated"

when my car is covered in mud from off roading, i automatically assume everyone on the road is jealous. i even give people a look back that pretty much says "you should've been there"

some guys i take serious tell me your a serious guy

at least once a week i mispronounce realty

today at lunch at work, we ran into the subway because the rain was pouring down so hard. we ate, and were walking to the van when johnny realized he locked the keys inside. we got in the back section with all the tools and attached a magnet to a long pole and barely snagged the keys. took 30 minutes but we got it. if anyone happened to be driving by the subway on avery and margarite, they would have seen two electricians screaming and jumping and fist pumping in joy. several high fives were given

drunk people are funny
drunk people at my house are funny
drunk people dancing at my house is funny
drunk people falling when dancing at my house is funny
drunk people holding my bed hostage when i want to go to bed at 1 am because i have work in the morning is not funny
but a little funny nonetheless

i walked to pavilions, found a deal on those big jugs of arizona iced tea. i grabbed 5 and was walking to the register with them all piled in my arms and saw every lane packed with people. i walked to the express lane and 3 people cut in front of me. i turned around and a lady let me go in front of her. i was in and out in 4 minutes. the way i figure it, if you look pathetic enough people will let you cut in line. i now live by that principle

never forget

the following seemingly useless powers could have really come in handy today

1. the super power to create a mix cd that i'll still like tomorrow
2. the super power to see if a lighting fixture is crooked the first time i put it up
3. the super power to not procrastinate on the things my mom tells me to do. i know mom, i need insurance
4. the super power to not be terrified of the rat skull that poked out of the hole i cut in the drywall
5. the super power to know where my tape measurer is at all times
6. the super power to identify a piece of medal as harmless or a razor sharp tool of satan


just to let you know, electrical tape is the electricians spider man band-aid

i put the skull in the office. your welcome pete

express my inner retail skills

lets just get down to brass tax here. i worked at express on friday for the first time. no training, no past retail experience. i didn't/dont even know how to properly fold those shirts. but they needed help on black friday and my room mate chase andre asked if i could come in and work. so i did. here's some scoops from the day

hi can i help you find something?
yes, do you know if you carry the wrinkle free MX1 button ups?
uhh..ooo....jeez....sssss (that hiss noise you make when you breath in) ....ummmm...yea...i...dont think so
.....you dont know. well can i talk to someone who does know?
yea sure-chase!- yea, i'll get someone over-chase!getoverherepleasechase- yea ill find someone


well what size would you wear?
well, personally i would probably wear the medium, but is the man your buying this for on the smaller side, or is he built pretty well?
well he is skinny but is muscular hahaha!
right. ok maam, then i would go with the medium
can you, can you hold this up to yourself?
yea sure, here
yea i like that. you look good in that
wait what
i like this, it brings out your eyes. hmmmm it looks good
wait what
yea i'll take that


hey luke, you can go on your 15
ok great
+stand around in the back room for 5 minutes+
luke, are you already done with your break?
yea. i was bored. i'll just keep working
when are you off?
no idea
when did you come in
8
when do you want to be off
dont care
your hired

i dont know if i'll ever work there again, but we'll see
but if anyone wants 30% off their express purchase, let me know. i'll hook you up. employee discount :)

merry thanksgiving

hey everyone
its november 22nd and you know what that means

means your mom is telling you to put up your christmas list



so i started thinking about what i want for christmas and my first thoughts were:
1. power tools
2. home depot gift card
3. groceries
4. independence day
5. soap

but lets think about this, thats what i need. what do i really want?
1. 8X10 bass cab
2. million dollars
3. high paying easy job
4. another copy of jurassic park and independence day
5. soaps



my young christmas lists looked alot like this
1. remote controlled truck or something really cool like that
2. tons of lame video games
3. doritos
4. skateboard stuff!
5. jurassic park on vhs

as a kid i would always shop around and find my mom the best prices, and where to shop because i thought that would help her save money or something like that. i would have my own budget and everything. but now that i think about it, i would pick like 12 things from 12 different stores that definately were not close to each other. my mom would probably see my list and think "jeez luke, your so freakin picky and you didnt even calculate tax stupid"

i'm always awkward when opening gifts because i dont express (i work at express come friday) joy very well, outwardly. i have to convince people that i liked their gift by reminding them for weeks that i use it everyday. i didnt know receiving a gift is so demanding

now back to eating left overs, merry thanksgiving everyone!

i'm inventing new ways to be retarded

alternater is out on the xterra. suck it nissan

i'm sick for various reasons, but probably one focused reason.

i took a shower in thirty seconds this morning, then ran down the stairs, grabbed my tools and jumped in my friend nikki's car (on account of stupid xterraz, she volunteered to bring me to work). the second i sat down in the car, i realized how obnoxiously sick i was/am. riding in the workvan, on the way to our first job, i puked in the trashcan we keep between the seats.
got to the house, could barely stand. the guy i was working with said i should go home. but i was in tustin

i have one hell of a room mate and friend
tom came all the way out to tustin and picked me up without asking for anything
got home and slept till 4pm
woke up and ate the following things in this order
1. ruffles ranch chips
2. french bread pizza
3. more chips
4. mountain dew
5. water
6. orange
7. apple
as you can tell i started becoming intelligent near the end

now i'm watching discovery channel and science channel because its the best way to make myself feel like i'm still being productive as i sit on the computer thinking about how much stuff i can't do

i'm going a little insane

catch this, tom hanks

there are only a few feelings stronger in my life then my love for vanilla coke

i was at work the other day and watched a pool cleaner for a good 10 minutes. if the guys knew i was doing this, they'd probably get a little pissed. but i was fascinated by how relaxing it seemed to just brush the bottom of a pool with an abnormaly long brush

i dont care what that commercial says, visa is not faster then cash

crows are the road runners of orange county

there are two types of bassist - the ones that play and the ones biased against people who play bass

my porch is disgusting. its messy, dirty, wrappers and bottles everywhere, a wheelchair just hangin out along with my mountain bike and two speakers that are pretty big and blocking the doorway. we are officially the white trash of ladera ranch and it feels great

dear zack from allison and luke

dear zack

i offically named our band in my head. its zack attack. you're welcome

i love you because we share a love for matchbox twenty

your sense of humor challenges my sarcasm to a whole new level or douchebagness

your subtle hatred of allison is always hilarious but contagiously awkard

i'm sorry for telling dominick that you stole his book

i'm not sorry at all, since you did, in fact, steal it

but i do think you are nice

and you smell nice

and i think that you are funny

i love that you are such an easy get when it comes to your musical tastes

i'm really excited for the day that the Lord unveils your love for Africa...

thanks for letting us be a part of the band...we've really enjoyed it

and i didn't even notice that you didn't have your capo in the right place

but i did notice that the harmonies didn't sound quite right

you know what else is not quite right?: the lord of the rings soundtrack

i did notice the improper capo placement and good thing i had a music conscience german by my side

whoever said germans didnt have good balance obviously havent seen dominick play monkey ball

making snyde comments about kids that cant play baseball out loud with you wasn't life changing, but definately something i'll remember in two weeks

lets start a train/matchbox twenty/sum 41 cover band

word association fees

Allison:
jackhammer - peter gabriel
bees wax - not yours, inc.
goosebumps - rl stine
abercrombie - LFO
camp cucomonga - phobia
sherman - oaks
hepatitus - wal mart
osirus - billy ray

Luke:
butcher - i married an axe murderer
stripes - zebra gum
frozen - yogurt
sport grip - waterbottle/David Hughes
dollywood - beverly hillbillies
emilio estevez - mighty ducks
red bush - tasty
night fever - mark reinhardt

Zack:
berries - twig
mitsubishi - galant
gold - bond
wonderful - i hate allison
seven - severed head
archery - gay
trident - gum
clap - spotted dick

Petty:
thunder - suns of
maroon - five
australia - howie day
forefathers - abe lincoln
tap-dancing - gay
facial hair - testoterone
second base - chair
shocker - wichita state
purple indian - innocent

David M. Hughes:
knickers - grandma
flag - stephen colbert
color guard - yuck
scooby doo - eh
blink-182 - effing awesome
onomonopoeia - bzzz
retriever - perfection
ghost - the movie signs

Dominik:
America - fifty one states
Hasselhoff - best friends "bff"
spandex - work-out
black people - (thinking, thinking...) (still thinking...) Africa
dragon - ball z
pizza - tony
game cube - beating eveybody
velvet elvis - in luke's pocket

co-written by allison hibbard

its true, but i have to take a break from activities and say some things

girls - dont play ductball if you arent going to commit. sitting around first base playing a harmonica? really?

guys with girlfriends - dont play ductball if you arent going to commit. sitting around your girl while she plays horrible horrible horrible harmonica? really? i'm sure there's some commitee that i can talk to to get your status changed from male to vagina

when german people freak out, its nothing less then absolutely hilarious

i have an eagle on my sleeptime shirt to ward off all the terrorist ghosts. no osama bin ghost laden in my house, i tell you what

This part is written by Allison Hibbard...since a co-authored blog was promised.
I really wish that I were as capable of "stream of consciousness" blogging as Luke is.
I just typed "clogging" when I was trying to write "blogging"...which I also wish I were capable of clogging...because, honestly, how sweet would that be? If I could clog really nicely, that would be a skill that I would put on my resume.
I'd also like to be a logger. Well, that's not true...I would really hate to be a logger, because then I would have to live in the woods and probably cook with a wood-burning fire...though I would be really strong, but I would have very few places to dress up and show off my phenomenally cut arms.
Nothing else ryhmes with blogger, so I guess my work here is done.

now back to luke
i took 1000 m-grams of vitamin C, plus 3 halls defense tablets with 100% daily vitamin C content in every little delicious treat, and a thing of airborne that has 1000 m-grams of vitamin C yesterday. my future. if you dont want to read that i'll sum it up - i can get the one thing that i fear above all other ailments in the world. there is nothing i'm scared more of (thats right, cancer - nope. aids? - nope. blindness? not a disease but nope)

kidney stones

and also if i'm pregnant, i'm a few thousand short of causing my unborn fetus to have rebound scurvy which pretty much means that when they stop getting that much vitamin C, they get scurvy

but who cares. kidney stones??

suck it oranges. i'm on to you

an announcemente

this weekend, for the first time ever, i will be co-writing a blog with allison hibbard

i dont know what we're going to write about
i dont know if it'll be good
i dont know why my elbows wont touch behind my back
i dont know why straws are so gross to me

but get ready
people get ready...

this had to wait, but its here

heres the key so you can understand the following story=
trim - the piece of a can light that you can see, that makes it look nice
ugo face - means the lady gave one of those obviously disgusted "are you serious?" faces
sigh - outword expression of frustration given by me
yelling - not actual outward yelling, just me screaming at the top of my mind-voice
laugh? - that loud awkward laugh that you can never really understand whats the reason for it, done by lady

so we're all at this job (i'm at work, and "we" is everyone i work with and job is something you do for money) and basically the lady there is being ridiculous. changing her mind all the time and not making sense. here are a few excerpts from the day

i'm on a ladder about to cut a hole for one canlight that we talked with the lady for 45 minutes about where it should be. this is the second one a little down the hall from a dresser that we put another can light over. she went with our suggestion finally
"so do you think this is enough light for my dresser?"
"well, yes maam. you have a can light directly over the dresser. it doesnt get much better then that"
ugo face
"well is that light your putting up going to help get more light over here?"
"well, a little bit, its a little to far to do to much though. but it's not really an issue because you still have the light directly over the dresser"
laugh?
"well why do i want a light there anyway? its practically in the hall"
"well...you said you wanted one here"
"ok, if you think this is enough light then i trust you. your the professionals"
"ok great, i'll get this going then"
---2 minutes later, right after i cut the hole---
"you know what, i change my mind. i want it closer to the dresser, i dont think there will be enough light"
yelling
"ok"

next one
i'm on a ladder again, i know i hang out on ladders to much, just finished putting a trim in on the final can. we're cleaning up, and this is the last thing pretty much. i'm just wiping the fingerprints off of it. she walks in
"oh are you done?"
"yes actually, this is what it will look like"
ugo face
"really? your-your done? thats what it's going to look like?"
"...yea. this is the trim we showed you"
+flashback in my head to the hour spent trying to figure out what she wanted, and how happy she was about this one specific trim+
"but your done? like, theres nothing else your putting over that?"
"....no. this is it"
ugo face
"well i dont like that at all!"
laugh?
sigh
"but this is what you said you wanted"
laugh?
"i dont like the look of that at all! are you sure?"
yelling
"yes. i'm sure. we're all sure. positive actually"
ugo face
"well i dont know about that"
yelling

it was a fun day

allison tagged me

3 word answers only
i tag ange

1. Where is your cell phone? by my unmentionables
2. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend or Husband/Wife? dont know yet
3. Where is one of your parents? rocking lake forest
4. Cheesecake? if its free
5. Your favorite thing to do? rocking the bass
6. Your dream last night? a good one
7. Your favorite drink? duh mountain dew
8. The room you're in? outside on patio
9. George Bush? hes the president
10. What you're good at? wrecking my car
11. One of your wish list items? a standing ovation
12. Where did you grow up? down the street
13. The last thing you did? washed my bod
14. What are you wearing? typical luke fashion
15. What kind of car do you see yourself as? silver volvo wagon
16. Ketchup? in small portions
17. Your computer? on my lap
18. Your life? work in progress
19. Your mood? generally pretty mellow
20. Your next blog? wont be funny
21. Your car is? i like it
22. Your summer? was actually awesome
23. Your relationship status? work in progress
24. Your favorite color(s)? orange i guess
25. When is the last time you laughed? 5 min ago

why am i not in bed yet

because i said so

i went and saw "in the wild" tonight. i got home just now. decided to just say some things before i go to bed

i'm hungry. so hungry. and that movie made me really hungry. but i have work in the morning, and i like sleep just barely more than eating

my room mate is upstairs snoring his little brains out. yea i'm scared to go up

one time at about 2 in the morning i woke up to this sound. realized it was somewhere between a growl, a snore, and someone saying my name real slow. 2am, i dont remember that snoring exists, so i freak out. trying to figure out where someone is hiding in my room, and why they insist on saying my name over and over in that crazy deep voice. dont want to leave the safety of bed, but going insane with curiosity. i look over in the dark, and bud is sitting up looking around. he must of heard it too! bud!, i wisper, bud! what is that? no answer. i get up, kindof, more like crawled, and went over to bud. yea he's snoring. oh yea, its all making sense now. he snores. and thats not his head, its his shoulder and my imagination. pissed

tom snores too
and so does chase (roomate number 3)
our house is kindof loud at night

ladera likes to leave street lamps on at night. a soft amber nightlight that peaks through the shades. if i was a poet, this could be something good. tell you what, i'll haiku this. i can haiku like the best of em

me try to sleep now
streetlamps on in the night gabe
snoring is lame lame

well i'm back

i'm back
yes my writings have been on what could be called a "hiatis" if i could spell it right
its not a disease
it happens when stuff happens that doesnt give you time to write
heres reasons for my hiatis

girl trouble
roomate trouble
double bubble
new car trouble
money trouble
fire trouble
new computer
more girl trouble
creativity trouble
forgetfulness
halo 3
comin down with the sickness

i apologizize to all of you and promise i will start this little addiction again
for now, here are some thoughts from today

saw 3 cops on the way home
saw 3 havent seen it yet, is it good?
saw 3 soon to be empty cans of mountain dew in the beer fridge

our beer fridge has had one beer in it since we got it, but always fully stocked with the freshest mountain dews money can buy

i'm sick of waiting for new lost

couragecall.com <----my buddy matt, go check it out. its a tasty little dish of new music

friend is a 4 letter word

bought that eminem cd, you know the one. "the eminem show". had it a long time ago. bought another one. apparantly i know every word for the first 4 songs. who knew

precision423 <-----screen name ooohhhh yeeeaaaa

later

i hope maple syrup coats your lungs

dear lady who called me boy in your mexican accent,

i am not a boy. i am a man. i am an electrician. i have a toolbelt.

just because you didnt know my name as i worked under the giant tv that you wouldnt let us move, you dont have to assume i am a young boy.

and yea, i had no idea what you meant when you said "tv ok?" remember when i asked you "what?" and "what do you mean?" and you just kept asking "tv ok?" and i was already working under the tv you wouldnt let us move. to be polite i simply said that it was ok, assuming you were asking if i wanted to move the tv.

but no. you just wanted to watch tv. and blast it. as it was inches over my head. it doesnt help to watch some annoying kids program as the tv is inches from my head and i have to concentrate on not getting electricuted

and besides, i know you speak somewhat good english and that you understand what i'm saying because i heard you talk to those other dudes that were working at the house. in fact, i heard you flirting with those same dudes. what the heck mexican lady. what the heck

seriously what the heck

dear lady, you suck. your rude, hope i never have to work for you ever again

he has jokes

what do you call a kids television program where the host solves crimes but is hindered by his alcohol abuse?

booze clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is a breast implant surgeon but to complete each surgery he has to solve crimes?

boobs clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host drinks mountain dew all the time but to get his next fix he needs to solve crimes?

dews clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is actually a band that solves crimes before they play every show?

muse clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is a homosexual crime solver?

gay clues

what do you call a kids television program where the host is always misplacing clues to all the mysteries they need to solve?

loose clues

i dont reveal much about myself in my posts

and thats not going to change anytime soon

to all you avid readers out there
and all those rappin mystery st. clair's
annd all the papers with all the letters
and the tapers of the cod of capers
listen to me as i lay it down once
caught in the heat that i cant make nice
when is the time, the right time the wrong time
shoot it in the air with a troll on a knoll
a grassy knoll of cotton candy and elephant hair

wistle me a tune as i ride down this caramel covered mountain
wistle me a tune topped with fudge and anecdotes
i'm leavin tonight with toby and cameran
so get the knees in the air this will be flav - a - full

rocky and bullwinkle fall from the sky
but this candy rock still forms in my heart
so what can the weatherman/woman tell me that i dont already know
life is good till i ignore it

peace to the middleman

pick an apple, put it in your pocket

i could never win the tour de france because i'm to scared to put my hands above my head while riding my bike

usually the sound of crickets calms me to sleep. but last night the sound of 25 crickets fighting for life against a skunk gecko kept me from sleeping well

i'm unusually stoked about recieving my super nintendo in the mail. i bought this game called uniracers, where you race unicycles. yea, i know how to party

i stared a dog down at this one house i went to the other day. we were both frustrated at each other and couldnt express ourselves through normal communication. no other option but to lock eyes and never flinch

life kinda sucks sometimes, but life also rules alot of the time. we just dont pay attention all that much

i eat healthier now, but that doesnt help how much i lose my breath when going up stairs. more apples maybe

i thought for almost 2 years that i came up with the band name "duran duran"

i have a show this saturday, anyone want to go? eh eh?

i'm the king of balancing on a wheel chair. please challenge me. asky randy crafty

and to think i'm an electrician

i sometimes think what captions would look like from the radio. i think they would look like this
:alright well that was a our friends jovi coming up next with their big hit is the foo fighters from their last hit single the fray coming up next stopping by will be big poppa thats right our friend big jo jo thompson mik shavin gerder:

when can we start making fun of people who love transformers

sometimes i think janis joplin is some kind of sports athlete hero like tiger woods or brian boytano

i did some lighting work for a guy that did this the whole time

all i wanted to do was try it

there's always that little kid that thinks he can break dance, and somehow people believe it for a little bit. then they realize doing the "worm" over and over isnt dancing

why do sax players in wedding bands always make their solos so ridiculous. hey saxist, you dont have to play that loud, and on that note, dont hit that one note. it doesnt sound good. move on. stop playing it. its annoying. no one wants to hear it. please

girls regret those nasty arm tattoos that they got when they were drunk or dating that one tatoo guy when someone they know gets engaged. that lion and cub in the sunset isnt coming off your arm girl, and there's a very slim chance you can cover up that tribal arm band with make up

toasts at second marriage receptions are just very awkward to me

rappers are always in the club

the extreme camera guy taking extreme pictures from extreme close angles of the crappy break dancing kid

same kid always gives away his "best moves" on the first song

when the hell did people start playing coldplay songs for reception dance parties

i never really know when my own butt crack starts

dreaming when i was napping

just wanted to explain this dream i just had really quick

so me and my family went to a gas station market that served ice cream when we were on vacation in the middle of the desert

i saw the ice cream part when i came in, and it was the a magnificant thing. i wanted ice cream so bad, but i had to go get some other things first

1. drill bits
2. an energy drink
3. shoes

then my family left but ange had gotten me some. it was a custom blend

i took a bite, and i swear this was the combination of taste

chocalate chip cookie dough (CCCD)
blue gushers

i was pissed, but satisfied. that just goes to show

1. dont trust sisters with ice cream
2. dont be distracted by more necessary purchases when ice cream is in the bicture
3. always have ice cream in the house in case you wake up from a dream with a creaving (dangn't)

sunkist during a wedding

this is my opinion, but i think i'm right so i'm going to go for it

1. children should not be brought to weddings
a. no reason for them to be there (they arent going to remember)
b. they always make noise (farts/burps/cries/laughs/giggles/yells/holla's)
c. they are always moving because they are never comfortable because they are always annoying

2. poems during weddings are NEVER GOOD NO MATTER WHO WROTE THEM
a. seriously, never meaningful because reading a poem is gay
b. listening to a poem sucks
c. poems are totally cheese

3. if you have your wedding outdoors, dont do it on 95 degree weather day
a. everyone hates sweating, so during your wedding everyone is just thinking "its so hot, this sucks" instead of "wow this is pretty emotional"
b. the sun is always somehow in everyones eyes
c. no one likes the sweaty pits

these things had to be said. but also these things

1. my mom was crying before she even got out of the car to walk up to the wedding
2. there were goats within a stones throw of my seat
3. i danced alot at the reception. this is a big deal.

making lists mean your right

lets just experiment on the vegans

my new driving game: if i see someone driving and texting at the same time, i will pull out a fog horn (because my current horn was lost in off roading incident #27), honk and weave at them. i predict i can get at least one cell phone tossed out the window by the 3rd attempt

milk crates seem to always come in handy

there was a dog at this one house i worked at that had a growth hanging from his side about the size of a pickle. i named him "tumey"

i have a book on my nightstand by michael chrichton named "prey". i find its the best way to remind me to talk with God more

painting my room wasnt nearly as fun as everyone said it'd be

moving mattresses is always funny to me

of all the times i moved, the only ones i remember were the ones where it was raining. that just makes me think el nino struck every time my family wanted to relocate

fish flies and banana cream pies make los lonely boys sing and cry

strobing piranhas tackle bears maliciously in winter

blanket basket beaving understands negative corrosive responses

nokia shoots blanks in the dark

killer john travolta questionaire

i dont know why i forgot about this until a few days ago, but i decided to talk about it for a bit.

when i was in the ER for my lip (that guy that jumped me in the shower with a cleaver. reference article picture "local man fends off knife attack with teeth"), i was shown something that i totally thought was a joke and wasnt real

i bring you......the pain chart



oh yea. this is legitamate. the nurse asked me how much it hurt, and when i said "kind of alot, but not really", she felt it an appropriate time to wip out the chart

she gave it to me and i made alot of comments (but she couldnt understand because my lip was the size for a delicious strawberry)

alot of my comments were sarcastic, but the train of thought went like this


whats this

are you serious. well i dont feel better than those 3 for sure, so i'm probably that guy

but my pain isnt that bad. so i'm going to have to say my pain level number is about here

so...what. is this what i look like

i'm a somewhat frown face, maybe a little smug, with a 3 - 3.1 rating of pain

but my eyebrows are way bigger than that

here's your chart back. i didnt know a 5 year old could draw all 10 levels of pain. was this made the year before he learned how to color?


after that, she sent me back into the lobby to wait. i guess my frown wasnt that bad. but if you know me, you know i can make a pretty crazy frown. it would probably be this on the chart

you walk into the ER with that face, good luck on NOT getting immediate medical attention

in reference to my last post

i let the jeep sit for a day

went outside and it started right up like nothing ever happened

my jeep heals

like i said it would

hold on to your butts...

ok

went off roading up saddleback mountain with
Tom and tom's new truck named taco
zam?
gabe and camera
andy and camera
Mark and marks truck and marks girlfriend (her names meagan(the GF))
Jeep and shelby and quad (yet to be named, any ideas?)

we found a little challenge (little but not that little) so i went up it

its hard to tell, but i made it

then i decided to go down it to see how crazy it would be. 1-10 scale of insanity, what do you think?




and i made it down

so we're comin down the mountain, i think mark missed this part because he had to go a little early, but i go up a side trail that led away from the regular trail. i realize suddenly that i dont want to be over here.

so i charge through the trees/bushes/rocks/wildlife to get back to the regular trail

everythings going fine until sam starts screaming. next second, jeep's front right tire falls in a 3 foot by 2 foot ravine, and my front bumber slams into the dirt side of the slope

and i'm stuck with a smashed front end


some dudes stop and help us out by jacking up the front middle of the car, i dig out the wheel, and 5 guys jumped on the back rocking it up and down till my wheel got up and out of the ditch from hell and i got back on the road

minor casuality - my front bumper was wrecked so i decided to custom fabricate my 4bi into a mean looking SOB


what do you think. better or worse?

all together a pretty extreme sunday afternoon

but my car isnt really running right now, so i have to go get it over to the mechanic.

dont worry, jeep will be fine. it's probably already fixed itself by the time i'm done posting this blog

snooze it or lose it

i use to sleep alot. now i dont. this has directly effected how unbelievably comfortable my bed is in the morning

i turn on the light to my room, turn off Amber the Gecko's light, take out the keys, wallet, cell phone, and whatever else that has found its way into my pockets, turn on the tv which already has jurassic park or Independence Day on a 24/7 loop, plug in the phone charger, turn on the fan, turn off my room light, 30 minute sleep mode on the tv, and go to sleep

i'm surprised that i've never had a dream about saving the world, fighting dinosaurs, or flying planes next to the president and will smith

i've woken up in the night trying to find my ringing phone. i find it on my bed and start talking, only to realize no one called, the phone never rang and i'm not even holding anything

i once thought a giant fat hamster was sitting in the chair in my room

i once thought there were cowboys digging for gold in the night in the atrium at my house, and one of them was holding a cup of coffee

i once thought a giant spider was eating my dresser (i know allison, spiders are scary)

i once thought a giant iguana was on my chest staring me in the eyes. but then i totally realized that was actually real (R.I.P. iggy)

animal names that i regret, here they are:
browny
iggy
stripey
mother
turtle
crazy legs
noodle
einstein
normal

its about time i wrote about this

this is not normally (normandy, no brandy?) my writing style, but i felt this story needs to be told in written format (floor mat, from matt?)

here it goes

a while ago when i worked at the hotel, (i worked at a hotel, ask me about sweet hotels) i met this girl named miranda in the cafeteria. a cute girl, seemed pretty cool, i got her number to hang out sometime. (which btw is a huge deal for me because i can never do that)

so she quits the hotel the next day and i call her and we're like "yea lets hang out"

she lives in san clemente is where she lives

i go pick her up at like, 9, and had nothing planned. (i didnt see it as a date, and i never really like to plan things). she said she wanted to go see this one movie. i thought it was a good idea, why not you know (y not u no, y not uno?)

but we decided to walk along the pier first. we walk and talk, and walk back and she points out where she works now. its a bed and breakfast that her uncle owns. its right there on the pier pretty much

next thing i know, people are yelling. two of her aunts and uncles were up on the roof getting slammed/wasted/drunk/sloshed/trashed/demolished. lots of alchohol

2 hours later i find myself sitting at the tables with the family realizing i had been there for the most unbearably awkward 2 hours of my life.

examples of what was said by the aunts to make it awkward -
"yea we're having sex in a while"
"your boobs are hot"
"that hot tub has done wonders to our sex life"
"i can totally see yor *bleeep* "
"dont get wiskey *beeeep* before we get to bed"

yeaaaa....holy crap so awkward. but it gets better. i decided to just sum up the following conversation by just writing what was said. you'll catch on who was who

"so luke. what the hell were you thinking taking my niece to the movies on a first date"
"uhhhh, well she wanted to go see that one movie"
"you cant talk in a movie, you probably just wanted to hook up. its a first date moron"
"well, it's not really a-"
"men are such idiots. all they want is action on the first date"
"well, no. i mean, this wasnt-"
"what do you do anyway"
"i work at the hotel"
"for how long"
"like, 2 years now"
"do you think that jobs going anywhere"
"well, its just a temp job really"
"my husband buys houses all the time. we have alot of money in this family"
"...cool"
"you think you can actually provide for my niece with some dead end job?"
"what, wait hold on"
"if you touch my niece tonight i will rip your balls off"

and it went on like that for 2 more hours

talked to miranda once after that. lets just say it didnt work out


so i was at bj's with my family sunday night and she was sitting at the table across from us facing me

if you know me, you know i love awkward. but come on

catalina shmatalina

pizza's in the oven cooking. but i've got to wait. i'm waiting for something thats already here

i got a haircut yesterday that i really dont like. its ok, not horrible, but not at all what i wanted. its like i went to get a crazy pirate ship tattoo, and the dude drew a monkey. i can live with it, but come on

if html was on a license plate, i would think
1. hotmail
2. hot male
3. hate mail
4. hate males

fires are pretty sweet to look at, but thats the end of the line for enjoying fires. if they effect your life in any way, they suck

i'm an electricians assistant now during the week. its pretty cool. my mom is glad that i got the job, but wont let me get a motorcycle. says its to dangerous because of other people on the road. which it is. but around 600 people die a year from electrocution accidents on the job, with 3,600 disabling injuries and 4000 normal injuries. 2,284 people died in 98 from motorcycle accidents, half of them were drunk, another portion was speeding, and half of the deaths were simply because someone wasnt wearing a helmet

i dont know how to not get electrocuted, but i do know how to -
1. not be drunk
2. wear a helmet
3. not speed

now all i need to do is win an argument with my mom

i met someone from the band bad religion. i wasnt stoked about this really, kind of like "this guy is famous i guess". but i was way more stoked to just talk about lost with him for an hour. that just made me stoked about lost, not bad religion

i also met the tour manager for korn. he was swedish i think. small mouth, and couldnt understand anything he said. cool tattoos though. i can understand that

oh yea, and korn was practicing in the next room. they had an emergency delivery of energy drinks. dudes came running in and everything. i could imagine the order
"korn is low on energy, and are kinda thirsty. what do you have to offer"
and the dude recieving the call had the perfect solution
and was so stoked about it

A little about my family

i noticed yesterday that my family doesnt know one basic fundamental asset of having a conversation

*if you are not in the same room when conversing, raise your voice*

it seems that at least once a day, someone tries to spark conversation, but walks right on out of the room without changing the volume of their voice

or i will hear a "luke..asdhf....mumble mumble mumble" from down the hall when i'm in the garage, or in my room. somewhat frustrating

i'll be in the kitchen, my mom walks by in the hall - "hey luke, can you make sure to do this and ....." thats where she has entered her bedroom and closed the door. and still continues to speak as if i'm right there

i'm in my room watching a movie, katelin (one of my sisters) walks by "mumble mumble Luke mumble asdhnk". why did i not understand? because she had already gone in the garage and started talking to me

trivial, yes, but i feel like my household should have captions at all time. just how i like to watch my movies.

The Goodwill strikes again (i also learned how to do links)

Well today me, Jared Slaybaugh, and Brad Owens went to the Goodwill to pick up an ironing board. see image



we started looking at movies and i came across a tasty treat



in this goldie, i have found great morals and a host of cameos

if you ever watch lost, then you might recognize the dude that drives the limo in the beggining of the movie

you should check it out

to work or not to work at starbucks

seriously

should i try and get a job at starbucks

extra cash, and something to do during the week when school is done

a bunch of my friends work there already

if not there, then any other suggestions?

also, should i get a vespa

decisions decisions decisions

its time to write, because its time to sleep

well, i'm just going to speak my mind as always, so here it goes

on the night i turned 21, i drove home at 1am eating chips and salsa, and drinking a diet coke while listening, wait actually, blasting DMB, from Biola College. I'll never forget seeing the open freeway and thinking "This kicks ass"

small fear of mine --- waking up to discover ivy had grown over my legs and chest

my friend dave can do handstands in the spa. sure its totally rightous, but spas are for relaxing, not aerobics

i misspell things alot, but i'm also really stubborn. the two never really conflict with each other. the two never really battle each other. my illiteracy never wars against my stubbornality

i used to clean carpets. one time i was cleaning a spot with a powerful acid on a rag, then shoved the rag in my pocket. it soaked through my jeans and chemicaly burned my thigh. i came to the conclusion that i needed to blame the chemical for being stupid and sneaky

i'll be going to sleep soon, but not before watching at least 30 minutes of ID4. (independence day)

sometimes i find that the solution to problems in my life are usually solved by the people that are already in my life, and i'm just kind of lame for not realizing it sooner. its always the best to trust God, but sometimes you need to put faith in your friends to keep the trust in God. a conversation goes miles, but dishonesty ends up nowhere

my jeep is covered in mud. its been a week. i catch people staring at me and shaking their heads. i love spiting people (spiting - to spite). so i might just go another week as long as tom, andy, taylor, gabe and ryan hodge stop drawing swasticas, racial slurs, male genitalia, and cus words on all my windows in the dirt

jim jam jamin jupiters i'm off to bed

God gave me a birthday present

today, well actually yesterday, well actually today, God straight up gave me a birthday present

and i dont mean like, oh God gave us all a birthday present by dying on the cross, kind of present

for the past few days i've totally been stressing about money. i dont have any, and i need alot...like right now. lots of bills

before trying to go to bed saturday night (which proved unsuccesful because i didnt sleep a wink) i finally gave up and asked God to take care of it. i was tired of worrying about the money sitch

after a long night, sunday came with no money to my name, no soon to be arriving paychecks, an empty gas tank and a ton of stuff to do. so naturally, i put it on credit and just prayed that i get money before overdrafts

i'm up at 5, work till 12, go home and eat, leave at 1 and go pick up stuff for this show i was doing sound for at Biola, which i totally thought i was just doing a favor for someone(later found out i was getting paid). i get there and set up and do the show. then tear it all down. done at 1230, right into my 21st birthday. me and this dude chase celebrate

then the dude mitchel (got me to do this whole thing) walks up and gives me a check that covered my gas there and the overdraft fee

It was almost like i heard him laughing when i saw the check, and my jaw dropped

happy birthday to me

Telling it how it is it is

if i leave the sliding glass door open in my room, turtles sneak in

i have a gecko in my room and on my arm. they both have names. i name geckos

i take up as much of the intersection as possible when i make u-turns just so i know i'm right when someone gets mad at me. i'm making a u-turn, i can do whatever i freakin want

one of my teachers raises the pitch of his voice when he turns to the whiteboard. i think he means to get louder, but it doesnt really happen like that. since he moves so slow (i think its because he's focusing on his voice) its like some kind of vocal roller coaster

i dont find anything funny about lightbulbs. so why are there so many jokes about them

a man's in the market, a terrorist leaps over the aisle, lands in front of him, and yells "i'm attacking you". an eagle then soars down, grabs the terrorist and feeds him to her newborn babys. the end

my credit card has an eagle on it. no one's ever stolen it either. what does that tell you? eagles bite thieves and thieves hate justice

mouse pads. gross

punch punch kick kick punch punch kick punch
someone tell me honestly if they remember that game and no its not some fighting game

listen to the following bands:
spill canvas
as tall as lions
watashi wa
cursive
the owls

movies to watch:
the prestige
blood diamond
the departed
the great labowski

"pick your battles, not your nose. unless you really need to" - Luke St.Hilaire

just focus and you'll make it through

taxidermy just sounds boring

my 30g ipod's screen broke. it has instantly become a glorified shuffle.
SHUFFLE -awkward to use, cant quite commit to investing in a real ipod, have to defend to all your friends on the possible benefits of keeping it around

i'm pretty sure my gecko eats the crickets out of anger more then hunger



i want to put my fist through a wall because i can think of so many cool stories of how it happened. ie - "a jackrabbit stole my last ringpop out of my halloween bag, so i punched a wall"
or
"jet li slept on my bed so i woke him up by spilling salsa over his legs, so he punched the wall"
or
"golum tried stealing the ringpop from jet li on mount doom with hobbitses, so i punched the wall"

my shoes are cool, i mean i like em, but who doesnt want new shoes

i sprayed vanilla car scent in my room, and it smelled like cat urine. car scents are not to be used in bedrooms

cops cant smell fear. its a lie. but they can smell weed and thats all that really matters

listen to the following bands:
AVNER
sun from shadow
summer wilshire
courage call
terminal
sleepless me


clap twice if you can read

possibly the most under rated movie ever

dodgeball

seriously. funniest movie in a long time

if you havent watched in a while, you should go rent and enjoy

"are you reading the dictionary?"

"let me introduce you to my team: blade, laser, blazer, me'shell, and fran stalinoshanaskalivish"

"make your jokes, you little jokey, joker-joke maker"

"lets bounce. cobras!"

"if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"

"necessary? is it necessary to drink my own urine? no, buts its sterile, and i like the taste"

"if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball"

"come on kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are"

"well its called the freedom of information act. i guess those hippies got something right! just kidding. but seriously"

"nobody makes me bleed my own blood"

"reminder, dyslexic players will not be allowed on the court"

"oh thats me taking the bull by the horns. its a metaphor. but it really happened"

"'L' is for love!"


i can quote this movie for days
go watch it and enjoy, cuz i am. enjoying. i'm enjoying the movie. right now, i'm enjoying the movie by watching it

Heart rate monitors

today i went to the oral surgeon to get two of my wisdom teeth pulled out.

the one at the bottom left part of my jaw was a liiiiittttlllee crooked. so they decided to pull the one on top as well, probably just for kicks.

so i get there today, and they sit me in this room facing a window that looks out onto the street. at once i see a truck covered in mud and want to go off roading

second, they tell me i'll be knocked out (not to be confused with knocked up) using an I.V. drip. i start laughing hysterically. dont know why. i guess its always been my response to anything medical related that freaks me out.

so i'm just giggling away while she is putting little heart rate things on my wrists and arms. i notice at once that everything i do effects the heart rate monitor on the wall that looked like this



so i squeeze my hand and it beeps. oh and btw, my resting heartrate is below 40bpm. when your heart rate drops below 43 on this machine, it considers you dead i guess, so lets just say the nurse was getting pissed at me cuz she had to keep resetting the machine. average american resting heart rate is 70bpm

to keep my heart rate up, and my mind off the enevitable, i played songs on the heart rate monitor by squeezing my hand to a beat in my head

thank you queen for blessing my life with "another one bites the dust"



as i was in mid-jam the doctor came in and told me to pretty much knock it off. i started back up the giggles when he started talking needles. he gave me a frustrated look, shoved it in my arm and told me that i better have a good dream ready

the next thing i remember (as i'm trying to recall, i'm starting to laugh again) my mom and the nurse were helping me to the car.

wierdest event of my life

now i'm watching spaceballs and eating my favorite kind of ice cream that looks alot like the food from "hook"


and i have no idea why random words in this blog are highlighted yellow

statements that'll rock your world

the movie "thornbirds" is an overglamorized soap opera with a bad soundtrack

all green pants should be burned in another country, like alaska

if a little kid started making fun of me at the beach, i would not hesitate to spray sand directly into his evil little eyes. no matter the age

any cowboy who couldnt grow a mustach shouldnt be considered anything less then useless

i hope whoever wrote the evolution book i'm reading right now has gotten some kind of STD

after season 5, not a single show on television doesn't suck. ie gilmore girls

suck it ron howard

if a movie isnt good with the sound off, then your wasting time watching it with the sound on

at some point in my life, i want to see indiana jones box gary coleman

if a man hits a woman, he should be hung by his balls

giant bees are always terrifying

how to be a succesful musician

We were practicing today (summer wilshire) and we came up with a full proof plan to become rich.

we would make one CD and sell it for one billion dollars

then we would put it up on ebay

but we want to do it soon, so we gave ourselves 1 year to make it happen. but no one will pay a billion dollars for one CD. we know that. we're not stupid

but people will pay a dollar a song

so in one year we will put out a CD with one billion songs. in order to make this happen we decided to split up the work. each of us will write two hundred million songs this year.

but we have to pace ourselves so we dont get burned out. so i calculated it out that each of us have to write three hundred and eighty songs every minute for the next year

the beatles wrote about five hundred songs in their six year run. thats only 0.000159th of a song every minute. what kind of songwriter cant even put out over three hundred songs a minute. pffft

my first song is going to be a rap/pop ballad about being poor in a semi-racial coastal village in new guena

No i dont want these earmuffs

i dont want these because i dont want to look like this ever in my life.


if i die by electrocution i dont think i'd want some guy poking me with a giant candy cane


listen to Terminal
listen to Courage Call
listen to Summer Wilshire
listen to The Recieving End Of Sirens
listen to Avner

i got a haircut by an angry asian lady who punished me for choosing a tuesday afternoon to want my hair back to normal

watch lost tonight and we're guaranteed to have something to talk about next time we speak

my phone is possesed by crappy reception demons but awesome camera angels

well, this is the new blog. get into it, and read some of this